今天的Essay 写了433字，超时将近3分钟

topgoerUID: 2563731

My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that ‘achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that’s nice, too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.’
-Helen Hayes(19000-1993)

9 p& K9 F$ a7 L1 D5 Y- M) Z% ~Assignment: Do people spend too much time trying to please others rather than reaching their own standards? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences or observations.
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It is a known fact and natural for people to put up a good front when facing others. I feel that people always have a outward personality, shown clearly through our attempts to please others. When we are on the go outside in society, it is beneficial and instinctive for us to please our boss. I find it true that most people always go to great extent to please others rather that looking at ourselves and reach our own standards. Thus, I agree to a great extent with this interesting prompt.

+ h: P% ~3 P  y8 h* qFor most people in society, we find it inevitable for us to keep up with our friends and try to satisfy the demands of our superiors. We seemingly cannot find a way to get out of this weird circle that binds people together. We always find ourselves dealing with the surrounding people and naturally going to great extents to please them, but ironically know that such hypocritical approach is for sure not up to our standards. From a normal setting in everyday life, like we students in school, we will certainly find ourselves instinctively trying to please our teachers. In school, our surrounding, schoolmates and teacher are exerting such a pressure on us that prompt us to please them without fail. When facing teachers, a student will probably try his best to put up the best front, sometimes even beyond our own standards. In order to satisfy the demands of our superior, who is the teacher here, we students can take up so many projects and subjects that our standards can never reach. There are many cases of such students who took up too many commitments that their standards can never actually accomplish.
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It is of great truth that we really spend too much time to satisfy others need and keep up to others requests. In many cases, we find ourselves stuck in the endless cycle of trying to please others that we can never find the time to strengthen ourselves. A good example to prove the case will be the politics of certain countries. Countries like Kuwait who emphasized too greatly in diplomacy and is too weak on deterrence. About a decade ago, Kuwait was trying to maintain good ties with other powerful countries, like supplying oil to the US. However Kuwait was too weak in deterrence within and ended up falling to Iraq.
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Therefore, lots of examples have told us to strengthen our inner will power and build better standards. If we get too engrossed in pleasing others, we will get stuck and end up falling apart just like Kuwait.
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[ 本帖最后由 topgoer 于 2008-12-4 00:31 编辑 ]

tanjianwenUID: 2322242

眼力不好,找不出错误

gsylanceUID: 2422506

结构有些松散，说服力上有些欠缺。
) y# e1 b2 u! J- z* E3 G"Do People...?“目的是让你决定”是不是”，然后用例子来证明。
有一些语法错误。

topgoerUID: 2563731

谢谢点评。

) g# M1 y: G1 X; e, N我记住的一句话是：
6 N$ f2 f- V9 Z2 f2 p; @* K树不要皮，必死无疑
人不要脸，所向无敌
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! L0 a% X2 T& w6 R所以我还敢把essay 放在这让大家批:-)

tanjianwenUID: 2322242

点评很好,让我得到经验

topgoerUID: 2563731

谢谢大家！ 祝各位新年快乐！

HeswingUID: 2218592

LZ什么时候的SAT考试啊？

topgoerUID: 2563731

还没有决定，还没有查如何报名呢，应该是在5月左右考第一次，年底再考一次。