20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

truthzlUID: 2592971

请帮我改下作文，谢谢！

What famous place do you like to visit?Use details and reasons to support your respnse.

If you ask me what's the most appealing place to me, I will answer the Maison Mode undoubtedly. The Maison Mode is a shopping mall around my country. Its high reputation makes it almost everyone's dream land.
The Masion Mode is popular with its only have brands what are universally famous. Such as Versace, Tiffany and Celine. We call them luxuries indeed. With the great numble of those extravagance brands, people view Maison Mode rather as a symbol of vanity and status than a place of shopping. People like me, have a strong desire to purchase items in the mall, so it may shows that I am an elite in society. Additional, its more considerable service compare with others, attract me visit it intently. While you shopping there, you can enjoy water and dessert if you are thisty. Also the guides will provide you some options for your requirement actively. All these reasons make me believe that I can have a comfortable and enjoyable shopping process in the Maison Mode.
Despite the Maison Mode is a perfect place for shopping, we should buy things intelligently. Hold the principle that buy articles what you need, and need most. Don't waste any money, so we will live an economic life.

1988HarrietUID: 2603151

回复1988Harriet：
你的每一段都太长了，顶的上别人的两道三段了。我不一段一段给你分析了，就依你的第一段为例
With the rapid advancement of modern society, there arise an ever increasing number of proble ...
腾格里旅狼 发表于 2009-2-24 10:50

LZ讲的很有道理。。。其实开头的那几句好多都是XDF老师推荐的，还说每个分论点之后必须得有2个以上的例子~所以写着写着就一发不可收拾了~~看来我走入误区不浅啊。。。怎么办，我这周六就要考了，现在改还来得及了么？LZ你QQ号多少吗？能和你详谈一下吗？谢谢！

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

76# truthzl 字数不够，建议再看一下OG上的托福作文范例，然后按照范例在写一篇。

1988HarrietUID: 2603151

回复1988Harriet：
你的每一段都太长了，顶的上别人的两道三段了。我不一段一段给你分析了，就依你的第一段为例
With the rapid advancement of modern society, there arise an ever increasing number of proble ...
腾格里旅狼 发表于 2009-2-24 10:50

LZ我重新改了下开头，精简了一下，你看看怎么样？
There are circumstances where people should make decisions:which school to apply to, which major to choose ,which company to work in and so on. When it comes to decision-making, one's first inclination might be to argue that people should have others make choices for them due to the fact that others tend to view things more comprehensively and subjectively. Warrented though it may appear, is that really the case? My personal experience in the past few years leads me to believe that making choices on one's own tends to serve a better function in general.

1988HarrietUID: 2603151

好像还是有点多。。。。LZ你再指点一下吧，我这周六就要考了，急问！！！

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

80# 1988Harriet 说实话我不是很建议你在第一段举例，因为效果不好，看起来作文冗长。你可以在第一段写1-2句话引出论点就好了，不必要非举例才能够写好作文，就你的文章而论，你可以将你的离子放在最后一段，或者是写反面观点的时候提一下，效果都很不错。上一个帖子忘回你了，我的QQ就不写了，加的人太多，你有什么事情发站内信就好了，或者找斑竹也成啊。

glamorouskyUID: 2459211

进来慰问下旅狼童鞋

imboundlessUID: 2603024

我差不多一共只有16天，要赶着申学校，以你为榜样！！！真的，你给了我非常大的信心！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！1

truthzlUID: 2592971

78# 腾格里旅狼

恩，我知道了，写作是我的大弱项。我会好好加油的

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

truthzl：好好练，托福作文没问题的，呵呵

ytsongpingUID: 2606515

楼主，我是新手，一个月后就要考了，请教两个问题
1、我看过一个帖子说综合写作只考文章和讲座观点相悖的情况，是否属实
2、独立写作的开头如果以一下句子开头算不算没有直切主题，冗长累赘等
Whenever people asked a theme, different people will offer different ideas,(所考主题) is no exception. As far as I am concerned, (列出个人所倾向的观点)
劳烦解答，不胜感激！

tbw1983917UID: 2604937

啥也不说了，太有才了，辛苦楼主了！！
100. Some people think that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Other people disagree and think that this money should be spent on more basic needs. Which one of these opinions do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Though there are many advantages with spending more money on developing the computer technology results in are considerable, but they can not compete with spending the money on basic needs, when the quality of people’s live style is taken seriously.


Nowadays, the increasing number of people focus on using the computer for many reasons, working, entertainment, shopping, chatting with fiends and so on. They have less time to walk outside to breathe the fresh air and do the physical exercise. The governments need to encourage the people to go outside to enjoy the nature by spending the money on building the basic facilities. For example, in Singapore, the governments invested on the public establishing with more money for citizen. There are sports facilities, Publics Park and gymnasium located in every community. The people live in Singapore is quite enjoyable and comfortable.

  Satisfy with establishing more basic facilities are those people hold the opinion that establishing the convenient public facilities is the most significant method to increasing the efficiency of working. The basic building could be indicated that how prosperous the cities are. It is obviously draw out the instant that, United States of American, is one of the most prosperous nations in the world, the basic establishing in USA is very convenient. They build the subway in the center of the big city, and established the completed commercial trade centre for business. All these can provide the people work in there more convenience.


Some people may disagree with my point of view. They support to spend money on computer technology due to the increasingly competitive information century. Absolutely, in the modern age, the computers are quite important for searching the information, sending the e-mail and even have a meeting through the internet. But all these just because of we anticipate to getting the best information to keep us more competitive. Why not establish the public library with a computer centre in side? It is not only can provide people to go through the internet, but also can provide the wonderful conditions for obtaining the knowledge in the books.


For what has been discussed above, it could safely to draw out the conclusion that the governments spend more money on basic needs is more significant than spend money on buying more computer technology.

bleachconUID: 2603310

Music is the force which can associate the whole world together. The palace of art shines with the decoration of music. Everyone holds a distinctive taste in music. Some crazy music fans consider music the air they must breathe everyday. Why do people regard music as an essential part of their life? First, different types of music can express and comfort our feelings. Also music is endowed with special meanings when you enjoy them at different ages. Finally, with the development of media technology, music spreads widely and becomes easier to be shared with others.


  Different types of music are used in different situations. Musicians compose music to express their feelings in order to call the resonance. Varied musical pieces make people experience the same feeling. People enjoy the music that fit their motion. When I am depressed, I listen to my favorite Maxmillion Hecker. His voice is low and attractive. As he is playing the guitar and singing with the sad voice, I am totally drown in the sadness and even cry. Sometime I listen to  Linkin park. The drum beats hit my eardrum and evoke my soul. I feel refreshed after listen to them. Playing a piece of original tracks of my favourite films would also be a wonderful choice in a lazy afternoon.
  
  
  Many young people can not bear the music which is popular back in the 20 century. They consider the music is out of fashion and too out dated. However, these old songs, popular once in the old days, present different respects of that period of history. Mom love the theme songs of film. She sings these old songs of old films like the Shining Red Stars. This song is very popular back in the 1970’s. She tells my that this song recalls her memory of the past years and it feels quite different when listen to it on her 40’s. The innocent time of her childhood is nostalgic and she feels quite tired about the false life. The deep meaning of music may not change though the pasing years but we feel totally different and miss the past time.


  Music can connect people tighter. The fans of music can get together to exchange their feelings. High technology help singers create various types of music and styles. Music rich people’s daily life. Mp3 Mp4, these inventions make music available everywhere and anytime. Music provides a stage for devotees to express their ideas. Also, we can make friends with other people who enjoy the same type of music as we do. Just like paintings and dance, music is a form of arts that cover wildly.
  

Though I am not a crazy music fan, I still choose to enjoy my favourite music when I feel tired. I can not say that music is my life, but my life would be dreary without music.   


文章被老妈臭骂了一顿。。。说她看不懂。。。。囧。。。
我22号就考了。。。这水平怎么办。。。
楼主能不能发一些练综合写作的方法呢？

cdi0576UID: 2609100

我都考了两次了可是作文没有上过20分,非常的郁闷,请楼主帮忙指点一下
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: it is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future

We have been looking for the way of happiness throughout all our lives. My greatest happy life is to travel from one place to another to find different life styles. From my perspective, I would like to choose spending money on traveling and vacation.
Firstly, in my opinion, life is sometimes full of helpless and pressures. Traveling and vacation meant for some time to experience a new environment in our lives. As someone with a personal experience of being raised in an familial environment of abuse,I really appreciate each traveling time during my life. Traveling was not only a way to relax or release my pressures, but also a chance to feel the natural and listen to my heart. I still remembered every romantic scenery, for instance, falling leaves blowing in the wind like a fluttering of butterfly; the sunlight shining softly through the leaves; the sky looks like a blue crystal, all of these gave me the peace of mind. So I enjoy traveling, also enjoy my life.
Furthermore, travel has also brought me a lot of thinking. Through traveling ,I met varieties of people with different life styles,say, single-parent family, orphan, and street singer. Their experiences made me more mature and rational to deal with my own relationship with my family. And I gradually grew up during my travels.
I know plenty of chinese would like to save money for future. They are always worried about tomorrow, just because they fear change and the unknown. But an old saying goes "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today is a gift.” Why don’t we enjoy today, and then explore tomorrow in traveling? It would give our lives lots of pleasantly surprised.
All in all, let us spend money on traveling and vacation. Life is full of surprise and mystery, and we need develop an optimistic approach to life. Through our own travel to find the real happiness.

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

感谢