20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

不谢，有什么文章发上来就好了，我会帮助大家修改的。呵呵，去talkingabc请老外知道作文，正好和大家分享一下经验，这样就算是好多人一起用了，我掏的钱也能更划算一些。哈哈

forarsenalUID: 2556320

谢谢前辈！

carol1007UID: 2524347

太谢谢LZ了~恩 我就是觉得写的很混乱而且时间把握不住，写作是我最没把握的一项了，是不是应该自己总结一套合适的模板，和例子？PS：怎样找合适的例子呢
这里还有篇文章，LZ指点一下 ，感谢
topic 170: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The best way to travel is in a group led by the guide.

Recent decades more and more people prefers to travel than stay at home due to the increase of the income and the prosperity of our  nation's  economic.Different groups of travelers have distinctive inclinations to the form and method of travelling.If I plan my own trip ,traveling in a small group of several friends by ourselves would be firstly adopted.

Admittedly,it is more convenient to travel by the guide .When travelers arrive at the destination ,almost everything include transportation and accommodation are prepared before .There is no necessity for the exhausted travellers dragging the luggage and tiring body to worry about the routes and schedule of the trip .The people who bolster this way of traveling probably consider the information which comprises folk custom as well as places of interests informed by the tour guide as the most valuable aspect .

On the contrary the proposer of self-depend tour regard the disturbing issues as I mentioned above as the challenging and significant point of the whole trips.Take one of my friend Tom who has a keen interest in traveling as an example.Every time he prepares for his fantastic journey,he is certainly searching for the information about the places on Internet as elaborate as possible ,organizing and selecting the useful information like the famous scenery spots in order to make the proper plan .Last but not the least step of preparation before departing is to reserve the hotels and round-trip tickets .What seems like troublesome trivial matters to some people are the unforgettable process for those traveling funs to learn more respects of their destination,through such preparation work can they determine more satisfying routes and schedules which mean avoiding complaints and conflicts during the tour.

Judged by my own experience and feel I prefer to travel without a guide as a consequence of gaining more freedom.I am agitated to be asked by following others especially when the time I relax myself in the span of travelling .So I think the best to travel is in a small group led by ourselves rather than by the guide.

walalaUID: 2603375

发上一篇新的哈～感觉写得很迷糊～谢谢ＬＺ
Nowadays，people spend too much time on personal enjoyment--things they like to do-- rather than the things they should do.

It is very inspiring to see today’s rapid developments in every aspect relating to people’s life. We have more beautiful houses and apartments, convenient transportation, and also various kinds of entertainments for us to choose from in spending our leisure time. However, I disagree with the statement that people nowadays pay too much attention on personal enjoyment. My opinion is based on the following reasons.

Because of the increasing population, there’re more and more people competing for the limited jobs, and there becomes less and less opportunities available for everyone. Since the society tends to be a more and more fierce competition stage, every people is striking for better development. It is obvious that we are working hard to compete, to do the things we should do rather than enjoy our lives, since we need to survive.

The psychological research group conducts a research on people’s mental health every year, and as a result, the group finds that the situation of suffering great stress on jobs becomes more and more serious. People find it hard to face mass difficulties and feel exhausted to deal with so tiring job affairs everyday that they even don’t have enough time for a simple meal. This phenomena reflects human’s worrying condition under the fast pace of development in the society. Most people even do not have enough time to live in a normal life, how can they spend extra time on things they like to do?

Not only do the adults feel stressful, but also we students seem under great pressure because of too many assignments and expectations from our parents and teachers. Take myself as an example, I love to read books of different kinds since I was in elementary school, but in Grade 5 ,my parents started to forbid me of reading them, and instead, I have to do many boring exercises and take part in lots of classes in order to get in a good high-school. I still remembered that I became easily depressed from that time, because I learned that I have to give up my habits, things I love to do to get a higher score. And I think most of the children and teenagers in China have the same feeling with me. Therefore in most cases, we can see that people from different ages all have to spend their most time away from the things they like.

According to the facts stated above, it is not difficult to make a conclusion that people spend more time on things they have to do, rather than things for relaxation recently. It is a question worth of consideration that how to solve the stress, how to change the environment to truly gain a happier life.

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

carol1007:
1.Admittedly,it is more convenient to travel by the guide .When travelers arrive at the destination ,almost everything include transportation and accommodation are prepared before .There is no necessity for the exhausted travellers dragging the luggage and tiring body to worry about the routes and schedule of the trip .The people who bolster this way of traveling probably consider the information which comprises folk custom as well as places of interests informed by the tour guide as the most valuable aspect . 这一整段可以整理成一句话，然后放在第一段，就是先说一下这件事情的有点，然后在说however, i like+你支持的观点，这样不但表明你思考的两面性，有精简了文章，读起来比较通顺。否则我一直看到你的第三段，也没有明白你的观点。
2，当然，你也可以继续使用这种方式，我以前在一本书上看到过这种样式的文章，但是他的最后一段写的非常完美。不但总结上上文，而且有进一步强调了为什么要选择第二种观点。并且在前文中也不断暗示读者自己的选择。这种文章写出来非常帮，但是需要你对文章有很强的驾驭能力。通过看你的文章，我发现你还没有能力去使用隐性的暗示语句，也就是说我在读你的最后一段之前你并没有我一个很好的方向。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

walala:
1.我很喜欢你的写作方式，虽然是通用的模板文，但是写出来的感觉挺好。但是不知道为什么你的总结总是写的不准确，而且没有说明白，就是我们通常说的没有讲到点上去。比如第二段，你前面写的都挺好，如果能够挺好，但是如果能再加上一个离子，比如 “for example, everyday i spend 8 or more hours working...." 以自己的例子来证明我们确实工作努力，没有时间玩，然后在结尾别忘再强调一下，因为激烈的竞争，比起工作，我们并没有很多”时间“来享受娱乐，第二段你通篇再将时间，总结的时候却不提……
2.The psychological research group 文章中尽量不要出现这类组织，一旦出现，请教带明确组织的名称和性质。要不然就存在抄袭的嫌疑。
3.在写最后一段的时候， ”it is not difficult to make a conclusion that people spend more time on things they have to do“这之后最好在强调一下have to do 的意义，比如尽管我们希望能够找到我们喜欢的工作，但是.....句子不用太多，1-2句足以，但是有了哪些句子一下子就把你的文章称起来了。感觉非常饱满。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

我把外教发给我的资料传到首页和大家分享了

walalaUID: 2603375

恩,谢谢!~很有道理哈,我要回去在琢磨一下

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

……大家有作文可以发上来，呵呵

jessie2107UID: 2447940

It is universally acknowledged that an increasing number of people intend to attend colleges or universities during this period. Without doubt, there must be some reasons that lead to such a phenomenon. From my perspective, some primary reasons are offered as follow.

To begin with, with the wave of globalization, people have to face with the competition with not only domestic peers but also others all around this world. This fact asks people to improve themselves to meet this new challenge. Thus, receiving high education becomes the first choice for the majority of them. Generally, our society regards university or college as an institution of higher education or research; especially for the people who want to pursue their career in the field of technology or medicine, such a process seems more significant to make them professional as well as competitive.

Besides, university or college education is able to aim adolescents with valuable experience before they completely step in the society. To illustrate, during the process of communicating with college fellows, students catch an opportunity to improve their social skill, which is perhaps a matter of primary importance in their career pursuit as well as daily life; the ability of cooperating with team members gained from some group projects or presentations benefits them a sense of teamwork, which means an effective and efficient work goes beyond purely individual accomplishments; as well, the independency ability from positive competition and directed study provides students an innegligible advantage in their future career.

What more, university or college also offers students a chance to develop their interest and guide them to become social elites. As we know, most universities or colleges have thousands of disciplines, ranging from natural science like mathematics, physics to humanity like linguistics, psychology. That means no matter what a student is interested, the person, doubtless, can find the field of study he or she would like to devote to. Thus, attending universities or colleges play a key role in expanding our horizons colorizing our life. In addition, it is easier for people who work on their interested subjects, to a large extent, to become experts in their research fields, and then, they are more inclined to be social elites through their professional achievements.

In sum, no matter people attend universities or colleges for what personal or social reasons, this experience do benefit them in the career preparation, life experience, knowledge gain and so forth. Such an enthusiasm and tendency of attending universities and colleges will last due to all the merits referred to before.

谢谢LZ~话说这是我的TOEFL作文处女作来的~

carol1007UID: 2524347

谢谢LZ 我继续努力 ~~~~~~~~:loveliness:

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

寄托好久不能上了，几天试了以下居然可以，呵呵，高兴高兴。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

回复jessie2107：
1.第一段稍微有些迷惑，但是在看完全文后发现第一段实际上写的还是非常不错的，：P。
2.第二段解释和例子都很不错，但是却犯了托福写作的大忌，没有写总结句，也许你会说你在断首谢过了，但是就像中文作文里讲究的前后照应一样，你的文章也应该突出钱后照应。
3.完美的第三段，可能有一些小的瑕疵。但是确实非常出彩。我很喜欢你的思考方式。
后面的段落就不做一一点评了，你文章的思路很清晰，结构也很好，短语断的衔接处理的也很到位，但是有一点你忽略了，这一点可能对于平时的写作没有太大影响，但是如果你要那托福写作高分，就必须注意这一点，注意了，就是高分作文，不注意，最多就是一篇好作文。不跟你废话了，我想强调的就是“例子”不是你文章中出现的例子，而是以你为主角的离子，你自己的例子，比如“for example, I ......”你可以看一下我传到首页的文章，看过以后就知道离子到底有多重要了。

carol1007UID: 2524347

What is more important for students to understand ideas and concept or learn facts?

Different people may have distinct viewpoints toward the question .It depends on their separate recognition of the importance of concept and facts.To my view,facts are more important for students ,the reasons are given as followings.

Some may think that concepts are the summarization of mass of facts and experiments ,facts are  just the basis which means a less importance compares to the concepts which in certain extent equals to truth.As far as I am concern ,it is because the facts are the foundation of the concept,no concept would be set up without the proof of large amount of facts,so students should learn more facts primarily in order to have a better understanding of the concepts.Take the subject of physics as an example ,almost every science student learns Newton's law of motion in high school.It can't be imagined that the student try to understand the theory without any help of experiment which can represent the facts in a direct way .As a consequence, they may have to memorize the literal  meaning of the concept by cramming up in order to pass the exams ,let alone master the essence underlying the Law and how to think in a scientific way.

More importantly,learning facts can develop the creativity and imagination of a student and cultivate them the ability of going through the appearance to the essence. If one focus on concept and ideas ,he would be put in an passive role to learn how to accept instead of a positive one which may have more opportunities to come up with creative thoughts.In the long historty of human beings,tremendous amounts of theories were established on uncountable trials and observations which can more approximately close to the facts.If the scientists were only addicted to the ideas put forward by precursors without improving or overthrowing them by what the facts spoke,how can human beings make progress in the recogonition of nature. Likewise,inventions covering alomst every field could not be invented solely by ideas ,only thousands of failure based on facts can bring them to our daily life.Thus students especially those who want to develop in scientific research in future should learn facts earnestly.

I do not mean to deny the importance of understanding ideas and concept .Learning ideas can help the students know more about the principle of nature and foster the ability to solve practical problems ,nevertheless we can not ignor the facts which have the basis of status .From my perspective, a student should learn both the facts as well as the ideas ,while facts should always be put in the first place due to the above reasons .

oxyzenUID: 2563930

希望楼主能帮忙改一下
Do you agree or disagree with "people are never satisfied with what they have, they will always want something more or different".

As a philosopher has said no other animal is as greedy as the human being. Dogs will go away from the food if they are full, but people will never be satisfied, they will not only fill their stomach but will take as much as possible afterwards to store or to sell. From whatever angle to look at this story, we can not deny the fact that people are never satisfied with what they have, and will always want something more or something different.

From my point of view, this desire of possessing more and better things is born with us, in other words, it is the nature of human beings. A one year old boy knows to take the big apple from the two apples that are presented to him to choose from. However if you show him a bigger apple he will ask again for the bigger one. A little boy as such may not learn that from their parents - he knows from the beginning. Therefore it is understandable that people always want more of something and will never be satisfied.

Furthermore, as far as I am concerned, it is the pursuit of excellence, in other words, the spirit that we are never satisfied with what we possess that becomes the constant, powerful force propelling our society to advance. Scientists are not content with the discoveries at present, therefore after having understood most of the principles of nature on the Earth, they turn their eyes to the field beyond the blue sky - the outer space. Farmers always want to grow more crops therefore we are now able to provide the fast growing number of people with enough food. Athletes are not satisfied with their contemporary records so human beings are faster, higher and stronger day by day. On the other hand, if people were satisfied with what we already have, we would have stayed where we were and would never make any progress.

All in all, the pursuit of excellence comes with us ever since we are born and people will never be satisfied with what they have, however it is not a bad quality, on the contrary, it is because of this quality that our society gets progress.