20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

阿泰UID: 209473

小狼童鞋又去丈母娘家了？？:lol

wuwenlanUID: 2491970

1# 腾格里旅狼

版主，帮忙看看我的作文。。。谢谢。。我7号考。。。托福


题目是谈谈modern technology 是不是能够使students learn more information and learn more quickly????

Do you agree with the statement that the modern technology helps every student get more information and  learn it more quickly? Due to the complexity of the issue, different people may have different opinions. However, as far as I am concerned, I thinks the answer is exactly right. And also I want to mention the following reasons.

First of all, I have to admit that there are many disadvantages of the modern technology. For example, The TV makes many children concentrate on the cartoon but lose the communication with their family members. The computer makes a lot of teenagers be addicted to the computer games instead of  going home , eating food and caring about their study. Therefore,  from these things , many people consider modern technology is very bad for students.

However, I want to tell every one that every thing has two sides. In other words , the modern technology is a two-edged weapon.  So besides these above disadvantages, there are many merits of it. Firstly, let me talk about the computer. Although many students are addicted to the computer games, yet there are many other ones who have taken advantage of one of  the  most useful inventions in last century. They help students be informed of the latest researches' results. They help them get many efficient learning methods from the distant learning. They help them consult many data of their majors, which is newer than their books.

Secondly, let us see about the MP3, which is very useful for me.  MP3 provides us not only to listen to the beautiful music, but also to listen to the broadcast and many English lectures, which can improve our English ability. As to me, the development of  my English is contributed to the MP3. Right now, I can use my English to talk with foreigners and to read the English novel.

Finally,TV is also very beneficial for students' study. Many channels provide the educational programs to the student. Students can directly see the image through TV instead of reading the words on the book. So I think  it will let students learn more efficiently,too. Therefore, I am convinced that the modern technology benefits students in many respects.


In sum, although existing disadvantages of the modern technology, I strongly commit to the notion that its merits overweight the flaws.  And I think whether it can benefit us or not, it all depends how each student use it.

walalaUID: 2603375

LZ大人~前段时间，因为家里电脑时好时坏，就没能把作文发上来~今天终于弄好了，您要使劲拍哈~感觉这篇写的感觉怪怪的，更重要的是，我没办法在30分钟内写完怎么办，话说我也快考了，但是这一篇作文我写了50分钟，怎么办啊？一直练可以提高速度么？还是要打草稿啊？
Agree or disagree, Newspapers can truly help people understand world events. Televison news doesn’t provide enough information.
   Thanks to the rapid development in media sector, we now have more convenient access to the international affairs in all fields. Television and newspaper are both reliable sources of information which provide a lot of benefits for people nowadays. However, some people hold the opinion that it’s newspaper that help people understand the world news rather than TV, since television usually can’t offer people enough information. As far as I’m concerned, both of these too media have their
own advantages and disadvantages in perspectiving news.
   Compared with television, newspaper is obvious a more active way for people to think and understand, since it only passes information through published sentences and pictures, while television provides people with vivid news via sounds and moving scenes from the spot. As is known to us, the published newspaper has already been processed by experienced editors and reporters, so we can easily get the most important information from the objective reports which direct us to better understanding of the events. My father usually reads Reference Messages (参考消息~不知道怎么翻,就随便翻了一下) and he likes to talk with me about the military affairs which are seldom seen from television or even other media. Therefore I agree with the statement that newspaper play a quite important role in assisting people to comprehend various kinds of events.
   On the other hand, television news also has irreplaceable function among all the media. Seeing from the live programmes, we come to learn more about the serious conditions of the victims in the disaster areas in the earthquake. TV seems bring us together and gives the opportunity to receive the betimes information of our family members. During the financial crisis, my family always gets together, sitting in front of the screen, listening to the analysis of the expert of economics about the latest situation in economic trends. From these cases, it’s quite clear that, television not only furnishes us with a wide range of information, but also makes news transmit in a quick passage. Whereas, it’s nearly impossible for newspaper to offer people the up to date news, for the paper needs to experience several procedures to publish. This comes to the weakness of newspaper due to the limitation in speed. So, I take it for granted that television indeed is a effective and useful channel for people to get information.
   All in all, these two main sources of news both afford information in its unique way, and we can choose either of them based on our personal habits or what kind of news we want to gain.

xhiaji@UID: 2610688

强！

liurui8802UID: 2595045

麻烦楼主帮忙看看论据论点是否恰当，论证是否充分 有什么改进意见 谢谢赐教！
Agree or disagree? technology cause children show less creative than they were in past

Children born in the Information Age have treated technology as an indispensible element in their daily lives. They talk with their friends on the mobile phones; they kill their spare time by playing games on PSP; they use computers as a toy to find out most interesting things. Some people claim that technology, by making lives easy and comfortable, has made our children less creative. As far as I am concerned, it is technology that provides a new world for their imagination, a new outlet for their creativity, and a new way to perceive this world.


Modern technology has made imagination come true on TVs and in movies. Today it is normal that we can observe strange-looking creature from outer space and laser weapons firing in the universe. Youngsters are preoccupied by these magnificent views and they imagine themselves as the heroes and heroins fighting with the evil. They are, compared to us when we are their age, more imaginative as to think out fancy stories we can never illustrate,which is a good sign of creativity.


Besides, having mastered modern technology, especially the internet which is a wonderful outlet for their pent up energy, children are able to propel their dreamland into reality. It is not surprising to see young talents pass some tests of computer skills even formidable for adults. They are a new generation of designers, programmers and scientists,whose work involve creativity and will open new world to human beings. An Indian girl, 7 years old, has passed the standard tests designed by Microsoft to select qualified programmers. She aimed to become a computer scientist which demands creativity as well as skills.


Further more, learning to master some kind of modern technology itself is as creative as using it for entertainment. A study carried out by educators found that text messaging have in fact incited a new way of communication among young people, such as new abbrivations, new phrases,etc.These addicts also get high scores  in the American standard tests of reading. The  result, surprising to some people, has alleviated worries that children's ability to write well will decline because they spend too much time on text messaging.


In conclusion, modern technology has opened a new world for children's creativity, they will, no doubt, open a new era in human's discovery in science and other endeavors.

应不应该占用动物土地而为人所用？
The face of our earth has been greatly influenced by humans.Mountains once  bleak are turned into patches of fields for wheats;wild forests have been cut down and give way to super highways;seas near the beach are filled to allow more space for development.However, this prosperity,glorious as some people may claim, cost more than what we may imagine.The effects manifest in the destroy of the habitats of animals, which are granted the same rights of enjoying this planet.



It is our intelligence that gives us a head start in wining the war against the danger of nature.Compared to other animals, we are more agile, more alert, and therefore, adapt quickly to the fast changing environment.Thousands of years ago,people in Xinjiang have learnt to tunnel under earth to introduce water to dry places.These places,once hostile to any creature, were changed into oasis and nurtured splendid civilization.Animals, however, can only react to harsh changes by immigration,whether by flying thousands of distance or running through rivers and meadows. As our ability to get accustomed to environment and the intelligence to improve our condition are far superior to animals, we should take full use of our land instead of encroaching on the home of other animals.



Besides, humans always want to bend the nature to our will, regardless of the delicate relationship between different animals and their habitats,which, in turn is harmful to human's existance.For instance, European first coming to Australia wanted to take advantage of the great grass there to raise rabbits,so they killed all the wolves there.Within a few years,rabbits multiplied at an amazing speed as to make grass there extinct, which in turn endangered their existence.Settlers stood to lose all their investment.We should learn to respect the discipline of ecosystem in which aninals live, rather than mess up with their home as we wish.



Further more, we can learn a lot from our dear friends---animals. Scientists discovered a kind of herbal useful for disease by observing a species of monkeys which are endangered. They found that these clever creatures eat some kind of herbal when they are sick.After careful study and experiment, this herbal are of help to the same disease of human.



In conclusion, it is with animals we live on this lively planet, and it is in the mother of nature we build our temple of civilization. We are to respect them, and to live in harmony with them.

imboundlessUID: 2603024

楼主，我３.１４考，就是一个星期不到了，总共复习时间没你多，能翘的也都翘了，下周打算翘一周，模拟题还没做过，一点底都还没有，今天第一次上电脑上打作文，写了４５分钟左右哦，晕～麻烦楼主可以的话帮忙改一下，自己也不知道怎么改效果比较好
ＴＯＰＩＣ：Your community has enough money to hire one new employee.Which one of the following should your community hire?(a community health worker,a counselor.a emergency medical technician,afirefighter,a judge,a landscaper,a police officer,a recreationg center director,a teacher).Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.


From my point of view, hiring a teacher definitely has the priority when it comes to hiring one new employee if my community has enough money. My reasons are as follows.

First, a teacher can tell the young the importance of being independent and find their own dreams in life. Today, each family in my community just has one child, making most of these children are spoiled and lack of independence. If they continue to be like this, I think their life will be meaningless. As we know, teachers are good at educating people and are always be respected by children, so a teacher here will undoubtedly guild these children to the right destinations.

Second, a teacher can tell the residents here to protect our environment. Our community used to be surrounded by all kinds of plants, along with a clear lake, which made me feel like living in a garden. But now, everything is different. A large number of factories, high building take place of them, bring in air pollution, crowd and something else that make me feel really breathless. It’s high time for people here to realize the importance of protecting our environment. And a teacher will of course make a difference.

Last but not the least, a teacher can give us knowledge that can be used by us to develop living conditions. My community is located in a rural place where the living condition is bad. Some people here even don’t know what is happening in the world , because they don’t have TV sets , radios, or telephones, not to mention computers, which act as tools to connect with the outside world in today’s society. Even though they are really curious about the outside world, but they have no choice because they can’t find a job to make money, contributing to a lack of certification of education, and they have no access to trainings that will provide them with skills needed in the job market. So a teacher is needed to solve this problem.

After all these aspects being considered, I think a teacher should be hired if my community has enough money to hire one new employee.

imboundlessUID: 2603024

还有不是很明白机经的作用哦，像我现在应该看哪些呢？怎么用呢？先谢谢啦

possibilityUID: 2601740

我也去美国小站看看 是怎么订购老外的

贫民窟主UID: 2612844

这帖子不顶不行啊
收藏收藏~~~
刚开始复习
GT一起
改时间也发作文上来
辛苦LZ了。

msnow627UID: 2615107

lz 在美国小站的口语练习是通过网络练吗？

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

回复阿泰：没回丈母娘家，不过我媳妇倒是给我找了些事情，让我培训她朋友，泪奔啊，我还得给学校补寄资料，所以这段时间没有上寄托。对那些没有及时改作文的朋友表示抱歉啊。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

回复：walala：你的第一段写的条例比较清晰，看起来有一些模板的感觉，但不是很强烈，你可以尝试一下用连续的几个简单句把第一段写的更清晰一些。
第二段延续了第一段的风格，但是发现你的举例不是很好，以第二段为例，你说文章更容易理解是因为有编辑，但是电视也有编辑啊，你这不是公开鄙视电视台的编辑么，呵呵。虽然我承认他们确实不怎么样，但是放在这里当例子讲还是太牵强了。容易产生误解。在看一下你的第三段，这段文字写的很有味道，尤其是最后几句，写的非常棒，感觉上升了一个档次。呵呵。如果都能照这样写，你的文章的分布会很低的。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

回复：liurui8802，
同学，我给你改了第二篇，不知道是不是耽误你考试了……The effects manifest in the destroy of the habitats of animals, which are granted the same rights of enjoying this planet.这句话很好，但是希望能写的再直接一些，你可以直接表明你支持还是反对。你可以在考试中婉转，但是事实证明，婉转不如直接的分数高，呵呵。
第二段的第一句写的太大了，我们真的胜了么？那四川地震是怎么回事？英语文章不见得你的词句有多好，但是一定要严谨。
总结：我看了你的文章，给我的感觉你的文章主题是：”我们应该保护动物“，而不是你要写的主题，我还好，要是考官有这种感觉你就挂了。你在文章最后明确一下：”正因为----，所以我们才不应该......"
另外，从你的文章里，我没有看到你思考的两面性，你应该用一两句提一下，侵占土地的好处。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

回复：imboundless ，抱歉，没有来得及在你考试之前给你改一下文章。

liurui8802UID: 2595045

谢谢楼主，呵呵，还好 我5月才考
不知道楼主是不是看错了题目，题目是说土地使用该保护动物还是为人所用，而我要表达的观点正是土地应该保护动物。楼主理解的没错啊，这为什么会挂了？另外托福作文不是最好不要写两面观点的吗，所以我就只写了保护动物这个方面。两方面写的话时间有点不够，也不好充分展开论证。
103# 腾格里旅狼