Argument48 【六人作文小组】第1周第1次作业

levinshireUID: 2559564

TOPIC: ARGUMENT48 - The following appeared in a newspaper article published in the
country of Corpora.
"Twenty years ago, one half of all citizens in Corpora met the standards for adequate
physical fitness as then defined by the national advisory board on physical fitness.
Today, the board says that only one quarter of all citizens are adequately fit and
suggests that spending too much time using computers may be the reason. But since
overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of computer
ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made citizens less
physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year's unusually low expenditures on fitness
-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely the
cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does."
WORDS: 259          TIME: 3:18:02          DATE: 2009-1-6
提纲：
二十年前的标准不一定对
电脑使用率高的地区，使用电脑的人
健身器材是耐用品
This passage of argument consists of three main logical mistakes.
First, the standards for adequate physical fitness are defined by men. What if it was
wrong twenty years ago? Quite possibly, the old standards may not be scientific enough
due to the knowledge and technology constrain at that time. Without correct measurement
of physical fitness, all the analysis and presentation followed will lose credibility.
Second, the consistency of overall rates of fitness and computer ownership in the same
regions doesn't necessarily mean that computer users are more physically fit. It is
possible that in these regions, the fitness levels are extremely high for those people
who don't use computers. A further collection of data is required to compare the
difference in fitness rates between groups of computer users and non-computer users, if
we want to analyze the effect of computer using towards physical fitness.
Third, a recent low expenditure on fitness-related products and services does not
sufficiently explain the decrease of physical fitness level between twenty years and
now. As we all know, fitness-related products and services are durable goods. Once
purchased, they can be used for many years by the consumers. A temporary decline in the
economy may influence the consumer's financial situation, but will not reduce the
amount of products they already have. There is no reason to impute the fall in physical
fitness rate to the economic recession.
As stated above, this argument is not well reasoned. The varying of physical fitness
level can not be necessarily explained by the reasons listed by the author.

空即是色UID: 2496914

This passage of argument consists of three main logical mistakes.
首段有点太简单了
First, the standards for adequate physical fitness are defined by men. What if it was
wrong twenty years ago? Quite possibly, the old standards may not be scientific enough
due to the knowledge and technology constrain at that time. Without correct measurement
of physical fitness, all the analysis and presentation followed will lose credibility.

Second, the consistency of overall rates of fitness and computer ownership in the same
regions doesn't necessarily mean that computer users are more physically fit. It is
possible that in these regions, the fitness levels are extremely high for those people
who don't use computers. A further collection of data is required to compare the
difference in fitness rates between groups of computer users and non-computer users, if
we want to analyze the effect of computer using towards physical fitness.

Third, a recent low expenditure on fitness-related products and services does not
sufficiently explain the decrease of physical fitness level between twenty years and
now. As we all know, fitness-related products and services are durable goods. Once
purchased, they can be used for many years by the consumers. A temporary decline in the
economy may influence the consumer's financial situation, but will not reduce the
amount of products they already have. There is no reason to impute the fall in physical
fitness rate to the economic recession.
段与段之间过渡很僵硬
As stated above, this argument is not well reasoned. The varying of physical fitness
level can not be necessarily explained by the reasons listed by the author.

1、字数不够
2、错误是找出来了，但是没有举反例，这一点在A里面是必须的
3、还是老话，建议多看范文，A的逻辑很重要

[ 本帖最后由 空即是色 于 2009-1-6 13:57 编辑 ]

levinshireUID: 2559564

你说的太对了。我刚刚开始准备作文，啥都没看，这两篇是硬着头皮堆出来的，只不过Issue用的时间长些，Argu很仓促，所以写出来惨不忍睹。
谢谢你的建议，帮助很大。