【09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】shelly,2.20作业

shellyyu9UID: 2519441

People tend to eat fast food to save time in today’s quick modern life and leave less and less opportunities to have meal with families together, so the question has been raised: it is not important any more to eat meal with families regularly. And my answer is definitely no, because having meals with families is not only a tradition but also a good way to enhance the relationship. As a family member I am sure, one do the most regularly thing is having dinner with his or her family. We may have lunch in school or workplace and sometimes go out dinner with friends or clients but for most of the people having meals with family consists a large part the total. And as for many families they go home to enjoy a feast with their parents even though they no longer live together. In the older people’s eyes, having dinner with their offspring regularly so important ,if not they won’t feel they are part of the family, so many family make rules , maybe implicit rules to have dinner together , for example every 3 days. Having dinner together with family regularly contributes to the relationship between relatives. What a good chance to meet your dearest families like your parents or your beloved sisters and brothers. You can know the latest things happen in your family and share your news with others during the preparation for the dinner and you are relax and satisfied in having feast on a big meal. After meal you can discuss your trouble and ask advice from your families if some awful situation can not be explained well in the phone. Jokes and laugh with everyone may solve the problem in family because communication is the best way to handle arguments. What’s more, some people may worry having dinner with family will waste too much time, but actually I think it will do the opposite. On the one hand, if you go home to have dinner with your parents, you will have two more people to help you prepare the meal. Although you have to add more dishes, to the total, the time and cost will decrease instead of go up. On the other hand, it is economy to have dinner with families regularly, especially the youth who have no income or just start work and earn a little. if you eat alone, it is too consumptive to have a big meal but going to restaurant or buying from supermarkets seems save your trouble but it cost a lot. To draw a conclusion, I believe it is important to eat meals with families regularly which save money and good to relationship with your family.

shellyyu9UID: 2519441

题目Nowdays eating meals with families regularly is not important any more.
  
      People tend to eat fast food to save time in today’s quick modern life and leave less and less opportunities to have meal with families together, so the question has been raised: it is not important any more to eat meal with families regularly. And my answer is definitely no, because having meals with families is not only a tradition but also a good way to enhance the relationship.
      As a family member I am sure, one do the most regularly thing is having dinner with his or her family. We may have lunch in school or workplace and sometimes go out dinner with friends or clients but for most of the people having meals with family consists a large part the total. And as for many families they go home to enjoy a feast with their parents even though they no longer live together. In the older people’s eyes, having dinner with their offspring regularly so important ,if not they won’t feel they are part of the family, so many family make rules , maybe implicit rules to have dinner together , for example every 3 days.
      Having dinner together with family regularly contributes to the relationship between relatives. What a good chance to meet your dearest families like your parents or your beloved sisters and brothers. You can know the latest things happen in your family and share your news with others during the preparation for the dinner and you are relax and satisfied in having feast on a big meal. After meal you can discuss your trouble and ask advice from your families if some awful situation can not be explained well in the phone. Jokes and laugh with everyone may solve the problem in family because communication is the best way to handle arguments.
       What’s more, some people may worry having dinner with family will waste too much time, but actually I think it will do the opposite. On the one hand, if you go home to have dinner with your parents, you will have two more people to help you prepare the meal. Although you have to add more dishes, to the total, the time and cost will decrease instead of go up. On the other hand, it is economy to have dinner with families regularly, especially the youth who have no income or    just start work and earn a little. if you eat alone, it is too consumptive to have a big meal but going to restaurant or buying from supermarkets seems save your trouble but it cost a lot.
       To draw a conclusion, I believe it is important to eat meals with families regularly which save money and good to relationship with your family.

ddcmj519UID: 176326

People tend to eat fast food to save time in today’s quick modern life and leave less and less opportunities to have meal with families together, so the question [raises好像是，不确定]: it is not important any more to eat meal with families regularly. And my answer is definitely no, because having meals with families is not only a tradition but also a good way to enhance[improve?区别一下这两个词] the relationship."
      As a family member I am sure, [the most regularly thing one does] is having dinner with his or her family[我觉得这句有点逻辑问题，如果都这样了这篇文章貌似也没必要写了。。- -||，把one改成I可能好些。。]. We may have lunch in school or workplace and sometimes go out dinner with friends or clients. [B]ut for most of (the) people having meals with family [consists a large part the total什么意思。。看不懂。。]. And as for many families they go home to enjoy a feast with their parents[family和parents的意义貌似有重复] even though they no longer live together[even后面这个分句不要了吧？有点逻辑问题。。]. In the older people’s eyes, having dinner with their offspring[s] regularly [are] so important [that the absence will make them feel they are apart from the family]. So many family make rules, implicit or not, to have dinner together (, for example every 3 days).
      Having dinner together with famil[ies] regularly contributes to the relationship between relatives. [it is such] a good chance to meet your dearest families like your parents or your beloved sisters and brothers. You can know the latest things happen in your family and share your news with others during the preparation for the dinner and you are relax[ed] and satisfied in feast on the big meal. After meal you can discuss your trouble and ask [for] advice from your families if some awful situation can not be explained well in the phone. Jokes and laugh[es] with everyone may solve the problem in family because communication is the best way to handle arguments.
       What’s more, some people may worry having dinner with family will waste too much time, but actually I think it will do the opposite. On the one hand, if you go home to have dinner with your parents, you will have (two) more people to help you prepare the meal. Although you have to add more dishes, [in] total, the time [costs] will decrease instead of go[ing] up. On the other hand, it is econom[ic] to have dinner with families regularly, especially the youth who have no income or    just start work [that] earn a little. if you eat alone, it is too consumptive to have a big meal [by] going to restaurant or buying from supermarkets.[这里混乱啦~] [it] seems save your trouble but [actually] cost a lot.
       To draw a conclusion, I believe it is important to eat meals with families regularly which save money and [are] good to relationship [in] family.

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[]我修改的内容

总的来说，结构不错，过渡也很自然。就是中间有很多关于介词的细节错误。
结尾段也许可以再多些~还是时间不够啦？~

zhouwujieUID: 2529250

People tend to eat fast food to save time in today’s quick modern life and leave less and less opportunities to have meal with families together, so the question has been raised: it is not important any more to eat meal with families regularly(这里用问句应该好些）. And my answer is definitely no, because having meals with families is not only a tradition but also a good way to enhance the relationship.
      As a family member I am sure, one do the most regularly thing is having dinner with his or her family. We may have lunch in school or workplace and sometimes go out dinner with friends or clients but for most of the people having meals with family consists a large part the total. And as for many families they go home to enjoy a feast with their parents even though they no longer live together. In the older people’s eyes, having dinner with their offspring(s) regularly (is) so important ,if not they won’t feel they are part of the family, so many family make rules , maybe implicit rules to have dinner together , for example every 3 days.
      Having dinner together with famil(ies) regularly contributes to the relationship between relatives. What a good chance to meet your dearest families like your parents or your beloved sisters and brothers. You can know the latest things happen in your family and share your news with others during the preparation for the dinner and you are relax(ed) and satisfied in having feast on a big meal. After meal you can discuss your trouble and ask advice from your families if some awful situation(s) can not be explained well in the phone. Jokes and laugh(es) with everyone may solve the problem in family because communication is the best way to handle arguments.
      What’s more, some people may worry having dinner with family will waste too much time, but actually I think it will do the opposite. On the one hand, if you go home to have dinner with your parents, you will have two more people to help you prepare the meal. Although you have to add more dishes, to the total, the time and cost will decrease instead of go(ing) up. On the other hand, it is economy to have dinner with families regularly, especially the youth who have no income or    just start work and earn a little. if you eat alone, it is too consumptive to have a big meal but going to restaurant or buying from supermarkets seems save your trouble but it cost a lot. (这句没看懂。。。)
       To draw a conclusion, I believe it is important to eat meals with families regularly which save(s) money and (is) good to relationship with your family.
水平有限，只能改这点了，３楼的点评已经很好了。
比我的作文强多了

shellyyu9UID: 2519441

谢谢你们的点评，我在改改，觉得写得好烂啊，对了你们口语练习的怎么样？