帮忙看下作文，也可以发自己的作文上来，我们互改啊！

annadreamerUID: 2424997

两篇都写了个开头和结尾。达人帮忙看看啊！

nature and nurture:
introduction:
For years ,people tend to believe that characteristics play an absolutely indispensable role in our personality and development.Yet, as their knowledge accumulates,until recently,some people begin to hold the view that experiences should carry more weight in one's personalityand future development than characteristics.A great number or our experiences,which we ignore before,are extremely influencing our lives.
conclusion:
All in all,the significance of one's characteristic had been overestimated and the role of experiences played in our lives should gain more importance among people.From my point of view,I believe that if we cherish what we have gained from everything we experience,we would have fully developed personalities and bright future.

the technology increase the gap of rich and poor?
introduction:
In the past,people used to conduct things all by themselves.Yet,in the contemporary society,a growing number of people begin to realize the importance of technoloty.Some people regard technology as a source of the gap of rich and poor,while others hold an opposite view.
conclusion:
In brief,the negative influence of technology on increasing the gap of rich and poor had been exaggerated.From where I stand,I maintain that everyone in the society ,with the good use of modern technology,would have the opportunities to have access to a different field and enjoy an extremely successful life.

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

把主体段也贴出来看看啊
开头结尾挺不错的
楼主很喜欢用插入语嘛