09年1月-4月】TOEFL作文互改小组-之【TWE作文】01.22号作业 by woaichixigua

woaichixiguaUID: 2450470

Some movies are serious, designed to make the audience think. Other movies
are designed primarily to amuse and entertain. Which type of movie do you
prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Which kind of movies would you like to spend your spare time on, serious ones or relaxing ones? I’d prefer the later one, the primarily function of movies – as one main stream of entertainment industry - is, after all, diversion. Furthermore, it seems a little excessive to exclude amusing films from thoughtprovoking ones.

One major reason why people go to theater is relaxation. Comic movie relieves one’s stress and pressure during the time it makes he or she laugh. This is especially important for urban white-collars who work under horribly high-pressure. Just suppose you are a manager, you spent days of sleepless night to devise the project, present to customers and now concerned about whether you can win this bid or not. After 8 hours in the office, you step out to a cinema; you buy a ticket as an escape from crucial reality. Which one will you pick, Schindler’s List or Mr. Bean? Watching serious movies at this time can probably do no more than get you into sleep in the seat or aggravate your worries. However, comedy, on the other hand, make you feel relaxing, refresh your mind and together your courage again to face to the difficulties in the real world. I guess that may probably the reason why the gross of amusing movies are always higher than those serious ones.

Entertaining movies, at the mean time of providing fun, can also provide food for thought. Indeed, there are many productions both divertive and enlightening, such as Charlie Chaplin’s The Gold Rush and Modern Times. While making fun of Ciarlo’s stupid behaviors and insanity, we are also moved by this humanity and learn more about the essential of early capitalism --- greed, exploit and ruthlessness. Indeed, I think a good movie should be one that capable of making audience both laughing and considering.

In a conclusion, I’d prefer to watch relaxing movies other than serious ones, even if the former didn’t provide much of sense. After all, I go to theater for fun. And if I need food for thought, I can choose books.


前前后后写了40分钟,挤牙膏挤得好辛苦哦 ...
这个结尾觉得写得很乱,我想表达的意思是，就算喜剧电影缺乏实质,我还是比较愿意看,毕竟看电影是为了放松，实在要思考，可以去看书...
帮忙修改的同学辛苦了...谢谢

roinyouUID: 2447501

文章结构和条理还是比较清晰的，观点也比较明确。最后一段的结论说even if the former didn’t provide much of sense，前面没有论证，还是不要写好些。而且还说entertainming movies还是有思考价值的，这样就显得矛盾了。
还有一点你和我想法是一样的，但是有些朋友也指出来说，serious movies的定义范围，像你说的Schindler's list 那种不算serious Moives，应该反映历史的，政治的啊，那种文艺片算是严肃的。我觉得可以他们也是有道理的，你也可以思考一下。

dzy7066UID: 2494175

恩，偶想问一下，这个改作文小组是自己任意选一个题目还是大家写一样的啊

lsr91UID: 2540702

Which kind of movies would you like to spend your spare time on, serious ones or relaxing ones?
I’d prefer the later one, the primarily function of movies – as one main stream of entertainment industry - is, after all, diversion. Furthermore, it seems a little excessive to exclude amusing films from thought
provoking ones.


One major reason why people go to theater is relaxation. Comic movie relieves one’s stress and pressure during the time it makes he or she laugh. This is especially important for urban white-collars who work under horribly high-pressure.(没有那么可怕吧？词用得重了些) Just suppose you are a manager, you spent days of sleepless night to devise the project, present to customers and now concerned about whether you can win this bid or not. After 8 hours in the office, you step out to a cinema; you buy a ticket as an escape from crucial reality. Which one will you pick, Schindler’s List or Mr. Bean? Watching serious movies at this time can probably do no more than get you into sleep in the seat or aggravate your worries. However, comedy, on the other hand, make you feel relaxing, refresh your mind and together your courage again to face to the difficulties in the real world. I guess that may probably the reason why the gross of amusing movies are always higher than those serious ones.


Entertaining movies, at the mean time of providing fun, can also provide food for thought. Indeed, there are many productions both divertive and enlightening, such as Charlie Chaplin’s The Gold Rush and Modern Times. While making fun of Ciarlo’s stupid behaviors and insanity, we are also moved by this humanity and learn more about the essential of early capitalism --- greed, exploit and ruthlessness. Indeed, I think a good movie should be one that capable of making audience both laughing and considering.

In a conclusion, I’d prefer to watch relaxing movies other than serious ones, even if the former didn’t provide much of sense. After all, I go to theater for fun. And if I need food for thought, I can choose books. (画蛇添足)


我只改出了两个小地方 总的来说很不错 我要"据为己有"了哦！