【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】hjjsherriff2月6日作文Argument232

hjjsherriffUID: 2459384

【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】hjjsherriff2月6日作文Argument232
The author claims that the Mira Vista College (MV) should offer more courses which are concentrating on business, computer technology and hire more job counselors in order to help MV graduates find employment. To strengthen the conclusion, the author states that in the nearby Green Mountain College (GM), higher percentage rate of graduates had job offers from prospective employers and GM provide more business and job counselors than MV. However, I found the statement lend little credible support to the conclusion, and therefore make it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, 90 percentage of employ rate can not show that the graduates in GM are better than that in MV, it is entirely possible that the statistic of GM are surveyed one years or longer after they graduated. Moreover, the author fails to interpret the meaning of prospective in this argument, perhaps when graduate acquires a job which is near his living place, he would feel it as a prospective job even though he need not work in his major field of study, or perhaps some graduates would like to do some business or something else. So that the statistic given above show no evidence that the situation of MV graduates are better than MV's. And therefore the author’s assumption is dubious.


Moreover, granted that the statistic provided above is convincing, the author fail to rule out that the possibility that more business courses and more job counselors are a reason that lead to the higher employment rate in GM. The author fails to convince the possibility that it is the education quality or the performance of the students, the area that the university locates that matters, the author also fails to rule out the possibility that the area in GM need more workers and therefore graduates in GM received more employment letters. Thus, the author can not convince me by ruling out these possibilities, so that the assumption is unpersuasive.

In addition, the author commits a fallacy that the increase of courses of business and computer technology and hire more job counselors would surely help the students in MV to find job. The author ignores that the possibility that the increase has little impact on helping students to find job for the reason that they may have equipped themselves well in the reference field, what they need is better educational quality, or perhaps they want to get a better job so that they refuse to accept some of the working opportunities. The assumption will inevitably be overthrown if no more evidence is provided.

In sum, the conclusion the author provides is unwarranted. To bolster it the author must provide more detailed about the statistic provided by the GM as well as MV and giving a more clear explanation of prospective. To strengthen it I would need to know why more business course would lead to the better performance of graduates in GM, and I would also need to know more information about why some of the graduates are not informed.

tanyujing2UID: 2600111

【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】hjjsherriff2月6日作文Argument232
The author claims that the Mira Vista College (MV) should offer more courses which are concentrating on business, computer technology and hire more job counselors in order to help MV graduates find employment. To strengthen the conclusion, the author states that in the nearby Green Mountain College (GM), higher percentage rate of graduates had job offers from prospective employers and GM provide more business and job counselors than MV. However, I found the statement lend little credible support to the conclusion, and therefore make it unconvincing as it stands.

To begin with, 90 percentage of employ rate can not show that the graduates in GM are better than that in MV, it is entirely possible that the statistic of GM are surveyed one years or longer after they graduated. Moreover, the author fails to interpret the meaning of prospective in this argument, perhaps when graduate acquires a job which is near his living place, he would feel it as a prospective job even though he need not work in his major field of study, or perhaps some graduates would like to do some business or something else. So that the statistic given above show no evidence that the situation of MV graduates are better than MV's. And therefore the author’s assumption is dubious.


Moreover, granted that the statistic provided above is convincing, the author fail to rule out that the possibility that more business courses and more job counselors are a reason that lead to the higher employment rate in GM. The author fails to convince the possibility
（convince sb.）that it is the education quality or the performance of the students, the area that
(where)the university locates that matters, the author also fails to rule out the possibility that the area in GM need more workers and therefore graduates in GM received more employment letters. Thus, the author can not convince me by ruling out these possibilities, so that the assumption is unpersuasive.

In addition, the author commits a fallacy that the increase of courses of business and computer technology and hire more job counselors would surely help the students in MV to find job. The author ignores that the possibility that the increase has little impact on helping students to find job for the reason that they may have equipped themselves well in the reference field, what they need is better educational quality, or perhaps they want to get a better job so that they refuse to accept some of the working opportunities. The assumption will inevitably be overthrown if no more evidence is provided.

In sum, the conclusion the author provides is unwarranted. To bolster it, the author must provide more detailed
(details) about the statistic provided by the GM as well as MV and giving a more clear explanation of prospectives. To strengthen it, I would need to know why more business course would lead to the better performance of graduates in GM, and I would also need to know more information about why some of the graduates are not informed.

逻辑清楚，思维连贯。
注意语用，模板要以自我为中心~
请问是限时写出来的吗？
2009/02/09

hjjsherriffUID: 2459384

是限时写，再在WORD上改错的