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[a习作temp] 【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】hjjsherriff2月9日作文Argument14 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-9 21:56:19 |显示全部楼层
In this memo, the author claims that in order to increase the profits of Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC), the company should largely expand stocking the variety of vegetable seeds for this coming spring. To strengthen it the author states that, a national survey shows that a lot of consumers were satisfied with the vegetable provided by the supermarket, and the gardening magazine has been sold out for a long time locally. However, the evidence lends little credible support on the conclusion, which makes it unpersuasive as it stands.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the nation survey can be applied to the suburban town, it is entirely possible that people in this town are satisfied with the quality of the vegetable provided by the supermarkets. It is also possible that people are busy working all day long so that they have little time to grow their own vegetables. The author can not rule out these possibilities by providing more evidence so that the assumption is dubious.


Moreover, granted that people in this town are also dissatisfied with them, the author commits a fallacy that the dissatisfaction would necessary to the purchasing of vegetable seeds. Perhaps people would go and purchase vegetables in other place such as the organic vegetable stores or the local farm directly. Or perhaps people here show little attention to the quality of vegetables provided by the supermarket as long as they are harmless. If this is the case, then the author's assumption is doubtful without more evidence is put forward.


In addition, the author ignores some other factors that would lead to the selling out of the gardening magazine. The author fails to rule out the possibility that the stores input few gardening magazines so that they can be sold out quickly, or the magazines are bought by the tourists here. Moreover, even if many local people buy gardening magazines here, it dose not exactly show that they are willing to grow their own vegetables, maybe they are like to read the magazines rather to do the work.


In sum, the author's conclusion is unwarranted in several aspects. To bolster it the author must provide more evidence that the result of national survey can be applied to this town. To strengthen it I would need to know why will they willing to acquire the vegetables if they do not purchase them in the supermarket. I would also need to know the reasons why the gardening magazines have sold out for three months.

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发表于 2009-2-10 16:26:56 |显示全部楼层
In this memo, the author claims that in order to increase the profits of Green Thumb Gardening Center (GTGC), the company should largely expand stocking the variety of vegetable seeds for this coming spring. To strengthen it the author states that, a national survey shows that a lot of consumers were satisfied with the vegetable provided by the supermarket, and the gardening magazine has been sold out for a long time locally. However, the evidence lends little credible support on the conclusion, which makes it unpersuasive as it stands.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that the nation survey can be applied to the suburban town, it is entirely possible that people in this town are satisfied with the quality of the vegetable provided by the supermarkets. It is also possible that people are busy working all day long so that they have little time to grow their own vegetables. The author can not rule out these possibilities by providing more evidence so that the assumption is dubious.

Moreover, granted that people in this town are also dissatisfied with them, the author commits a fallacy that the dissatisfaction would necessary to the purchasing of vegetable seeds. Perhaps people would go and purchase vegetables in other place such as the organic vegetable stores or the local farm directly. Or perhaps people here show little attention to the quality of vegetables provided by the supermarket as long as they are harmless. If this is the case, then the author's assumption is doubtful without more evidence is put forward.

In addition, the author ignores some other factors that would lead to the selling out of the gardening magazine. The author fails to rule out the possibility that the stores input few gardening magazines so that they can be sold out quickly, or the magazines are bought by the tourists here. Moreover, even if many local people buy gardening magazines here, it dose not exactly show that they are willing to grow their own vegetables, maybe they are like to read the magazines rather to do the work.

In sum, the author's conclusion is unwarranted in several aspects. To bolster it the author must provide more evidence that the result of national survey can be applied to this town. To strengthen it I would need to know why will they willing to acquire the vegetables if they do not purchase them in the supermarket. I would also need to know the reasons why the gardening magazines have sold out for three months.

语用:ERROR-FREE
逻辑:COGENT
题外话:如果三十分钟可以完成这个东西,应该是近满分了!我想多说的是,看了你今天的ISSUE 和ARGUE,感觉你对它们的写作方式是一样的,这也是我正在思考的问题。打个比方说,我们在写今天的ISSUE 144的时候,一般都说“艺术家和评论家同样重要”,然后展开分点论述“1,艺术家的性质和重要性”“2,评论家的重要性”“3,他们之间的密切关系”,但是,这样写就看不到问题的实质,因为ISSUE的题目中是强调“艺术家”的重要性的,所以我觉得还要对他们进行对比而不是类比。你觉得呢?

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发表于 2009-2-10 20:41:56 |显示全部楼层
因为没有什么好讲的,但是我觉得这个方法在不会写的时候才写,觉得拿不了高分的

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RE: 【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】hjjsherriff2月9日作文Argument14 [修改]

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【09年2月-3月GRE作文突击小组】hjjsherriff2月9日作文Argument14
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