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[习作点评] 09/03/01 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-28 21:58:47 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Argument7
The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."


After reading the letter to the editor which seams a recommendation of the new candidate, I have to say that there are some bugs on the logic chain of the author.

The author advocates for the new candidate Ann Green (Ann G.), since he or she thinks that the most vital problem which should be solved in this town is the environmental issue. And then, the author says that Frank Braun is not capable to be the leader of the town for the reason that he is not doing well on the environmental problems only. Firstly, the author ignore other factors which is needed by a leader of the town: the leadership, the efficiency of the municipal work, the highly powerful policies, and so forth. That is to say, the author cannot deny a person by one tiny problem ( unless the author can show us the severity of the environmental problem and give us the evidence that there is no other problems happen in this town) and also advocate for a person maybe able to solve only the environmental problem. Secondly, for the people who elects Ann, the author should show them many other problems that maybe were not solved by Frank but were solved by Ann, since our people wants to know more about the promising candidate’s leadership.

In addition, the author claim that the environmental issues rise in this year. However, the so-called facts that the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses has nothing to do with the environmental pollutions, since there are other reasons which can cause the respiratory illnesses such as the cold and dry weather, the heavy colds, and the hay fever, maybe not the pollution. And the author assume that the doubled factories has relationship with the increase of pollution levels, for the reason that we do not know if those factories install the devices which prevent the town from pollution and how much the pollution levels increase. So the author’s proofs is vague and not cogent.

Moreover, the author commits the “false analogy” logic fallacy since he or she compared a member of the Good Earth Coalition with the member of the Clearview town council without noticing that these two organizations and their members are too different in the characteristics. Perhaps Ann’s organization is an non-profitable one which devote all their psychological and physical power to the solution of professional problems and earns the high praise from the citizens of the town but maybe its member is not able to deal with the general municipal affairs and also maybe cannot deal with the environmental problems happen in this town. (时间到了。。)

If the author wants Ann wins the election, he or she should provides more weighty evidence on the aspects: Ann’s dominant position and Frank’s failure on other sever issues.
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发表于 2009-3-1 23:02:33 |只看该作者
After reading the letter to the editor which seams a recommendation of the new candidate, I have to say that there are some bugs on the logic chain of the author.(这句话太简单了,开头应该简略说一下题中的错误。)

The author advocates for the new candidate Ann Green (Ann G.), since he or she thinks that the most vital problem which should be solved in this town is the environmental issue. And then, the author says that Frank Braun is not capable to be the leader of the town for the reason that he is not doing well on the environmental problems only. Firstly, the author ignore other factors which is needed by a leader of the town: the leadership, the efficiency of the municipal work, the highly powerful policies, and so forth. That is to say, the author cannot deny a person by one tiny problem ( unless the author can show us the severity of the environmental problem and give us the evidence that there is no other problems happen in this town(我看了这么多书还没见过加括号的,改成从句就行了)) and also advocate for a person maybe able to solve only the environmental problem. Secondly, for the people who elects Ann, the author should show them many other problems that maybe were not solved by Frank but were solved by Ann, since our people wants to know more about the promising candidate’s leadership.

In addition, the author claim that the environmental issues rise in this year. However, the so-called facts that the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses has nothing to do with the environmental pollutions, since there are other reasons which can cause the respiratory illnesses such as the cold and dry weather, the heavy colds, and the hay fever, maybe not the pollution. And the author assume that the doubled factories has relationship with the increase of pollution levels, for the reason that we do not know if those factories install the devices which prevent the town from pollution and how much the pollution levels increase. So the author’s proof is vague and not cogent.

Moreover, the author commits the “false analogy” logic fallacy since he or she compared a member of the Good Earth Coalition with the member of the Clearview town council without noticing that these two organizations and their members are too different in the characteristics. Perhaps Ann’s organization is a non-profitable one which devotes all their psychological and physical power to the solution of professional problems and earns the high praise from the citizens of the town but maybe its member is not able to deal with the general municipal affairs and also maybe cannot deal with the environmental problems happen in this town. (时间到了。。)

If the author wants Ann wins the election, he or she should provides more weighty evidence on the aspects: Ann’s dominant position and Frank’s failure on other sever issues.

开头结尾好仓促,另外要提高打字速度,加油

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