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[未归类] Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组第九次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-4 13:34:32 |显示全部楼层

Agree or disagree, technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.


Based more upon services and ligntweight high technology products,a revoluation in almost all areas of our lives has obtained an unparalleled boom.Phones,computers and refrigerators  have facilitated our life to such a great extent that it has become indispensable in daily life.Conversly,when the merits what technology brings out are widely praised,numbers of doubts jump out to criticize that technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.From my perspective,I'm incined to the opposite.

To begin with,technology has served as a catalyst in the cultivation of students' creative ability.After a range of technological facilities have been accommodated in to educational application and management,a solid foundation has been laid for elevating students’ school learning quality and social practicing ability.Along with these two vital aspects,a child’s creative ability has received an immense improvement.To illustrate it,the statistics from the committee of NICCT(National Innovative Contest for Chinese Teenagers) show that the number of participants in 2008 was doubled and numbers of amazing inventions came out,even applied to different industries later after the rate of computer application in classrooms has added to 85% in China.
Moreover,technology development exerts a significant influence upon social competition, imposing an unprecedented pressure on every and each individual.In order to survive in the ruthless competitive society and achieve a good reputation,children’s innovative ability has been underscored by parents and instructors again and again.As a result, a strong perception that to be creative is to be successful is widely accepted in the world of children.Guided by such notion and stimulated by the desire to realize personal value,children try to grasp every opportunity to flash the spark of creation.

All in all,at the risk of stating my positon too directly,I strongly believe that technology has strengthened children’s innovative ability and forced them to live a life full of creations.

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发表于 2009-3-5 20:02:03 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 grace.TT 于 2009-3-5 20:06 编辑

1# qiangweici

Based more upon services and ligntweight(?) high technology products,a revoluation in almost all areas of our lives has obtained an unparalleled boom.Phones,computers and refrigerators  have facilitated our life to such a great extent that it has become indispensable in daily life.Conversly(有这个词吗On the contrary,when(while/as) the merits what technology brings out are widely praised,numbers of doubts jump out to criticize that technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.From my perspective,I'm incined(inclined) to the opposite.

To begin with,technology has served as a catalyst in the cultivation of students' creative ability.After a range of technological facilities have been accommodated in(删除) toaccommodate to…以适应) educational application and management,a solid foundation(你是想表达学校的基建设施吗?infrastructure
has been laid for elevating students’ school learning quality and social practicing ability.Along with these two vital aspects,a child’s creative ability has received an immense improvement.To illustrate it,the statistics from the committee of NICCT(National Innovative Contest for Chinese Teenagers) show that the number of participants in 2008 was doubled and numbers of amazing inventions came out,even applied to different industries later after the rate of computer application in classrooms has added to 85% (
增长了85%可以用add/rise/increase byAdd to一般跟抽象性名词,如:增加了困难add to more difficulties)in China.

Moreover,technology development exerts a significant influence upon social competition, imposing an unprecedented pressure on every and each(累赘) individual.In order to survive in the ruthless competitive(两个形容词不能这么并列着用) society and achieve a good reputation,children’s innovative ability has been underscored by parents and instructors again and again.(In order..again.这句前后主语不一致)As a result, a strong perception that to be creative is to be successful is widely accepted in the world of children.(这句话的表述有点别扭)Guided by such notion and stimulated by the desire to realize personal value,children try to grasp every opportunity to flash the spark of creation.8 J- w( f8 y, N/ p
1 W, F1 W! d/ Z4 }& L5 o

All in all,at the risk of stating my positon too directly,I strongly believe that technology has strengthened children’s innovative ability and forced them to live a life(有这种搭配吗?) full of creations.* ~* N: m/ X( R
文章整体写得还可以,描写得也很详细。但基础语法有点薄弱,望平时自己多巩固一下。另外,多读多背长难句,培养自己写长句的能力。加油!
如有不同意见,望进一步讨论。     

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