【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组熊爱棒棒糖的 第9次作业】

熊爱棒棒糖UID: 2598861

Agree or disagree, technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.

Technology has become the impetus of the economic development of the society. The more technology we have, the more knowledge we could learn. Some people state that the problem that children show less creative than they were in past has become serious than ever. However, the creative competence obtained by the children has not turned down yet. They instead represent the higher abilities of creative than we were in past.

Admittedly, varieties of technologies we enjoy today improve the qualities of lives we have. With these facilities, most of the problems seem easier manipulated than before. Taking an example around us, the children could enter the research data into the computer and the analysis of the research could be done by the computer. It seems that the progress of the analysis makes them become less professional. However, the inquisitive of the information have not been decreased. Oppositely, it has enhanced a lot.

To begin with, the inquisitive of the children have been stimulated by these investments recently. The information through the internet would help us acquire amount of the knowledge. If a child wants to make an invention, he or she could log on the internet and search for those he or she wants.

In addition, following the more knowledge we have discovered, the children turn out more rational than ever. Newton, a distinguished physician in the history, once said that the achievements he had get for he stood on the arm of the giant. I believe that the meaning of the giant refers to the technologies and knowledge had developed since the time he lived. Therefore, the technologies in essence enhance the ambition of the children who would like to do creative jobs in their lives.

In a word, the creative of the children have not decreased for the flourish of the invention and technologies. Though several technologies indeed weaken their logic competence, the children, to some extent, benefit lots from the technologies.

iceland17UID: 2589814

1# 熊爱棒棒糖

Technology has become the impetus of the economic development of the society. The more technology we have, the more knowledge we could learn. Some people state that the problem that children show less creative than they were in past has become (more) serious than ever. However, the creative competence obtained by the children has not turned down(diminish或decrease,turn down多指音量调小) yet. They instead represent the higher abilities of creative(creativity) than we were in past.

Admittedly, varieties of technologies we enjoy(用boast更好) today improve the qualities of lives we have. With these facilities, most of the problems seem easier (to be)manipulated than before. Taking an example around us, the children could enter(input) the research data into the computer and the analysis of the research could be done by the computer. It seems that the progress of the analysis makes them become less professional. However, the inquisitive(这个词是形容词,要表达什么意思呢??) of the information have not been decreased. Oppositely, it has enhanced a lot.

To begin with, the inquisitive(curiosity)of the children have been stimulated by these investments recently. The information through the internet would help us acquire(a large) amount of the knowledge. If a child wants to make an invention, he or she could log on the internet and search for those he or she wants(search the Internet for those he or she wants,这样句子更紧凑).
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In addition, following the more knowledge we have discovered, the children turn out more rational than ever. Newton, a distinguished physician in the history, once said that the achievements he had got for he stood on the arm(shoulder,巨人的肩膀,不是手臂) of the giant. I believe that the meaning of the giant refers to the technologies and knowledge had developed since the time he lived. Therefore, the technologies in essence enhance the ambition of the children who would like to do creative jobs in their lives.'

In a word, the creativity of the children have not decreased for the flourish(动词,这里应使用名词) of the invention and technologies. Though several technologies indeed weaken their logic competence, the children, to some extent, benefit lots from the technologies.

逻辑清晰,论述到位,只是对于有些词的词性还不是很清楚。若对我的修改有任何异议，欢迎提出！！

熊爱棒棒糖UID: 2598861

谢谢，改的很好呢

holdingUID: 2285054

1# 熊爱棒棒糖

Agree or disagree, technology cause children show less creative than they were in past.

Technology has become the impetus of the economic development of the society (the development of social economy). The more technology we have, the more knowledge we could learn. Some people state that the problem that children show less creative than they were in past has become serious than ever (去掉). However, the creative competence obtained by the children has not turned down yet. They instead represent the higher abilities of creative than we were in past.


Admittedly, varieties of technologies we enjoy today improve the qualities of lives we have. With these facilities, most of the problems seem
（to be） easier manipulated than before. Taking an example around us, the children could enter the research data into the computer and the analysis of the research could be done by the computer. It seems that the progress of the analysis makes them become less professional. However, the inquisitive of the information have not been decreased. Oppositely, it has enhanced a lot. (however后面提出了一个与前面不同的观点，建议不要在结尾处这样做，可以考虑放在下一段的开头)

To begin with, the inquisitive of the children have been stimulated by these investments recently. The information through the internet would help us acquire amount of the knowledge. If a child wants to make an invention, he or she could log on the internet and search for those he or she wants. （阐述的不明确，上网得到信息与更多的好奇心是什么样一个关系呢？）

In addition, following the more knowledge we have discovered, the children turn out more rational than ever. Newton, a distinguished physician in the history, once said that the achievements he had get for he stood on the arm of the giant. I believe that the meaning of the giant refers to the technologies and knowledge had developed since the time he lived. Therefore, the technologies in essence enhance the ambition of the children who would like to do creative jobs in their lives.

In a word, the creative （少一个名词）of the children have not decreased for the flourish of the invention and technologies. Though several technologies indeed weaken their logic competence, the children, to some extent, benefit lots from the technologies.