issue50【09年2月-3月GRE作文冲刺组】

_xtUID: 2599830

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 449
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-3-1 19:52:27

Should all the faculty be encouraged to work outside the academic world in occupations that they major in, as the speaker recommends? In my view, the influence on the quality of instruction at college and university level that faculty's working outside campus has is a complex issue--one involves the definition of effective quality of education of the colleges and universities and what on earth the work experience from the social occupations can bring.

The chief goal, or the primary function, of the colleges and universities is generally considered as students' socialization. That is, on one hand, to pass on the knowledge, technology, own culture and morality to the students in order to survive in today's competing society, and, on the other hand, to perform as a transitional society to prepare the students to lead a life in the real society. To improve the quality of instruction of the colleges and universities, educator should consider how to enable the student better adapt social life and enable them make a living with the skills taught in school.

With this clear definition, I would acknowledge that faculty's working experience from the world outside campus in professions relevant to the courses they teach will bring at least two benefits to lift education quality of colleges and universities. First, working with many experienced and professional people in the same major outside schools, the professions can bring student a pool of up-to-date information about what happen in the outside world, new ideas about the technology,
which is not contained in the text book. Moreover, it is entirely possible that inspired by the interesting working experience, many students may pursue their major after graduation. In short, it can be predicted that work experience in relevant fields outside of the academic world will bring a livelier atmosphere to class to some extent and spark the students' interests in their discipline.

Secondly, social jobs provide the professions vast and accurate information about jobs and careers which is in great need of the graduates in job-seeking that they seldom learn in class. Students will surely be greatly benefited in job-hunting after graduation if they can be equipped with not only the knowledge and skills of their own major but also a clear consciousness of what brilliant persons the potential employers call for. After all, the information brought from the outside world by the social working professions in the relevant areas can offer significant guidance during students making career decisions.

Though such benefits it can bring, we should think further more before the speaker's recommendation put into practice since it is not as perfect as the speaker expects. First, those work experience from the society is not available or necessary in certain academic areas such as art, philosophy, and anthropology.

血喑UID: 2603208

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 449
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-3-1 19:52:27

Should all the faculty be encouraged to work outside the academic world in occupations that(我觉得应该用which) they are major in, as the speaker recommends? In my view, the influence on the quality of instruction at college and university level that faculty's working outside campus has (前后加逗号插在fluence和on之间会比较好，这句话太长了) is a complex issue--one involves the definition of effective quality of education of the colleges and universities and what on earth（这个词是指世间、世上，用得不对） the work experience from the social occupations can bring.

The chief goal, or the primary function, of the colleges and universities is generally considered as students' socialization. That is, on one hand, to pass（改成passing比较好，不定式有目的的意思，分词是状态） on the knowledge, technology, own（去掉比较好） culture and morality to the students in order to survive（谁survive？） in today's competing society, and, on the other hand, to perform（performing） as a transitional society to prepare the students to lead a life in the real society.（拆成两句或是加个分号吧，读起来好奇怪） To improve the quality of instruction of the colleges and universities, educators should consider how to enable the student better adapt social life and enable them to make a living with the skills taught in school.

With this clear definition, I would acknowledge that faculty's working experience from the world outside campus in professions relevant to the courses they teach will bring at least two benefits to lift education quality of colleges and universities. First, working with many experienced and professional people in the same major outside schools, the professions can bring student a pool of up-to-date information about what happen in the outside world,(and) new ideas about the technology, which is not contained in the text book. Moreover, it is entirely possible that inspired by the interesting working experience, many students may pursue their major after graduation(追求专业？搭配不合适). In short, it can be predicted that work experience in relevant fields outside of the academic world will bring a livelier atmosphere to class to some extent and spark the students' interests in their discipline.

Secondly, social jobs provide the professions vast and accurate information about jobs（一个句子里用两次不好） and careers which is（are） in great need of the graduates in job-seeking that (which)they seldom learn in class. Students will surely be greatly benefited in job-hunting after graduation if they can be equipped with not only the knowledge and skills of their own major but also a clear consciousness of what brilliant persons the potential employers call for. After all, the information brought from the outside world by the social working professions in the relevant areas can offers significant guidance during students making career decisions.

Though such benefits it can bring, we should think further more before the speaker's recommendation put into practice since it is not as perfect as the speaker expects. First, those work experience from the society is not available or necessary in certain academic areas such as art, philosophy, and anthropology.
（没写完？）

总结：第二段有论述关系不大，不需要写那么长，而且提到过的学生的社会化和主题是不太符合的，我觉得后文主要是讲学生怎样了解社会的知识的，而社会化是更大的概念；二三段层次不是很明朗，主题句别太长，从句应该留在后面用。句子不是越长越好的，应该先把话说清楚。

血喑
2009.3.5