[TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组网兜妮妮 第十次作业]

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.(08.5.10)  周六22：00交

This topic is a hot debates in the field that how the government uses its money to provide a better social environment to its people. In my point of view, I believe that it is necessary to support both the arts and the athletics for the following reasons.
In the first place, art shows the creativities and the particular characters of a person, with the financial support of government, it is better to help developing this ability of individual. For example, when you draw a picture, take photos or write lyrics, create statues, it is what you feel the world and shows your own imagination of the world into a formation, and maybe you just do it for fun. Think the situation now that the government has a fund to help you making a personal exhibition, you would be encouraged to work on your art and easier to succeed in this field. In addition, the government can do more than that. A lecture in weekend or some performances in holiday is good ways to enrich the daily life of their residences, which can let the people feel happy and living a better life.
On the second place, the investment of athletics is necessary as well. No one can deny that a sport team of a city or a providence can made the local people feel more united, especially when meet a competition. Government support the team to participate in Olympics is not only an action to support the team, but it is an advertisement to advocate sport in this place. People loving sports and doing exercise regularly, it is good to themselves and to the whole society as well. So, we can conclude that support the athletic is a wise investment to the government.
As what I told above, in my perspective, spend money to support arts can give chance to the gifted individuals and make a colorful life for the residence, and money for sports can help forming a dynamic and united society. In short, both of the field need money and government should make plans dealing with how to use the money more efficiently.

winterscuiUID: 2611266

This topic is a hot debates in the fieldthat how the government uses its money to provide a better social environmentto its people. In my point of view, I believe that it is necessary to supportboth the arts and the athletics for the following reasons.

In the first place, art shows the creativities and the particularcharacters of a person, with the financial support of government, it is betterto help developing this ability of individual. For example, when you draw apicture, take photos or write lyrics, create statues, it (which) is what you feel the world and shows your ownimagination of the world into a formation, and maybe you just do it for fun.Think (To imagine\Imaging) the situation nowthat the government has a fund to help you making a personal exhibition, youwould be encouraged to work on your art and easier to succeed in this field. Inaddition, the government can do more than that. A lecture in weekend or someperformances in holiday is good ways to enrich the daily life of theirresidences, which can let the people feel happy and living a better life.(改成这样是不是更好一点A lecture in weekend or some performances onholiday, which can let people feel happy and living a better life, is good ways to enrich the daily life of local residents. )

On the second place, the investment of athletics is necessary as well. No one candeny that a sport team of a city or a providence can made the local people feelmore united, especially when meet a competition. Government support the team toparticipate in Olympics is not only an action to support the team, but it is anadvertisement to advocate sport in this place. People loving sports and doingexercise regularly, it(which) is good to themselves and to the whole society as well. So, we can conclude that supportthe athletic is a wise investment to the government.

As what I told above, in my perspective, spend money to support arts can givechance to the gifted individuals and make a colorful life for the residence,and money for sports can help forming a dynamic and united society. In short,both of the field need money and government should make plans dealing with howto use the money more efficiently.


改的不对的地方请见谅，大家一起提高吧。

babffUID: 2539532

This topic is a hot debates in the field that how the government uses its money to provide a better social environment to its people. In my point of view, I believe that it is necessary to support both the arts and the athletics for the following reasons.

In the first place, art shows the creativities and the particular characters of a person, with the financial support of（the） government, it is（感觉it will be 会好一些） better to help developing this ability of individual. For example, when you draw a picture, take photos or write lyrics, create statues(or write lyrics, create statues有这样的用法？这点我不确定，如果只是为了凑字，最好不要这样写了), it is what you feel the world and shows your own imagination of the world into a formation, and（and换成or） maybe you just do it for fun. Think（think换成to imagine） the situation now that the government has a fund to help you making a personal exhibition（has a fund好像不对，你可以这样说you can make a personal exhibition by fund from the government）, you would be encouraged to work on your art and easier to succeed in this field. In addition, the government can do more(things) than that. A lecture in(on the) weekend or some performances in holiday is(are) good ways to enrich the daily life of their(their指谁呀？GOVERNMENT) residences, which can let the people feel happy(make sb happy) and living( 要是let也应该live) a better life.

On the second place(用furthermore或meanwhile可以避免单调), the investment of athletics is necessary as well. No one can deny that a sport team of a city or a providence can made the local people feel more united, especially when meet a competition. Government support(单数) the team to participate in Olympics is not only an action to support the team, but it is an advertisement to advocate sport in this place. People loving sports and doing exercise regularly（这句话语法是不是错了）, it is good to （to改成for后面同样要改）themselves and to the whole society as well. So, we can conclude that support the athletic is （also）a wise investment to the government.,

As what I told above, in my perspective, spend money to support arts can give chance to the gifted individuals and make a colorful life for the residence, and money for sports can help forming a dynamic and united society. In short, both of the field need money and government should make plans dealing with how to use the money more efficiently.

呵呵，改的不好，多多包涵哈，还有我想问一下，你这样写也可以吗？不算跑题吗？题目不是问你同不同意，你只是说要投艺术也要投体育，感觉像是在辩是否既要投ART也要投PE，但题目是说同不同意多投艺术少投体育。。。。我真的有疑问。。。请给我解释一下好吗？

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

嗯，你说的挺对的，大抵这样写会有一点冒险，好像有跑题的嫌疑。
其实应该写成IT DEPENDS的类型。总态度是不能“不能一概而论，投资艺术和投资体育都有其优势，应该视具体情况而定”，这样应该就会全面很多。
谢谢你的指正~