TOEFL 4—6月Dark_Tournament写作小组 wazza 第10次作业

wazzaUID: 2473807

字数/时间 =  404/1.5 hour   目前写作速度还有待提高~~  （文章自己修改过一篇才发上来）

Recently the problem of the use of government's fund has drawn public attention. Quite a few people hold the view that governments should financially support athletics. They argue that the joy and pride from their own countries’ golden medals in the Olympic Games deserve the spending. With all aspects carefully considered, however, I still believe that government should give more financial support to the field of arts.

First of all, the development of arts can benefit man's minds and raise people's living standard. Since work is not the only thing in people's lives, individuals need avocation in spare time. The enjoyable and instructive activities of arts can help people get rid of bother and gain knowledge at the same time. For example, reading Shakespeare’s famous play---‘The merchant of Venice’, readers are immersed in the appealing plots. After that, they are probably eager to learn more about the city of water---Venice. Literature edifies public, whereas music relaxes them. Many years ago, concert is the privilege of the wealthy. But now it knocks ordinary people's doors. That the public have more access to arts is an advancement of a society.

Also, arts helps a nation to propagate its own and unique culture to the world. Arts, the symbol of a country, play an important role in culture. There is no any better way to remind others of one's nation than arts. The Dutch post-impressionist, Van Gogh's paintings, such as The starry night, are displayed in the museum of modern art in New York; Beethoven' music is enjoyed by foreigners interested in Germany; Shakespeare’s plays are performed in Shanghai’s theaters. The more popular a nation's arts are, the longer its culture exists in the history of human beings.

Last but not the least, arts' advancement also benefit the national economy. The rapid development of market economy combines arts and commerce in a magic and profitable way. It seems that arts become a strong point in economic increase. Hollywood, for instance, is the well-known success of this combination. American arts and entertainment industry progress hand in hand. Western cowboys, rock music and jazz, inspiring biography and novels, etc, all these bring the box office. Of cause, Disneyland is another huge artistic and commercial accomplishment.

For what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that governments should funds more on the artistic field so that not only us, but also our generations can be beneficial from arts.

yoyodandyUID: 2456812

你的作文写得比我好多了，句子用的非常的工整，句式也很多变，例子也举得很贴切，除了会把一些时态用错以外还有单复数偶尔也会出错。其他没什么大问题。我需要向你好好学习。。
Recently the problem of the use of government's fund has drawn public attention.
Quite a few people hold the view that government should financially support athletics. They argue that the joy and pride from the gold medals got in the Olympic Games deserve the cost. (golden是金色的的意思)With all aspects carefully considered, however, I believe that government should give more financial support to the field of arts.
First of all, the development of arts can benefit man's mind and raise people's living standard. Since work is not the only thing in people's lives, individuals need avocation in spare time. The enjoyable and instructive activities of arts can help people get rid of bother and gain knowledge at the same time. For example, reading Shakespeare’s famous play---‘The merchant of Venice’, readers are immersed in the appealing plots. After that, they are probably eager to learn more about the city of water---Venice. Literature edifies public, whereas music relaxes them. Many years ago, concert was the privilege of the wealthy. But now it knocks ordinary people's doors. That the public have more access to arts is an advancement of a society.
Also, arts helps a nation to propagate its own and unique culture to the world. Arts, the symbol of a country, plays an important role in culture. There is no any better way to remind others of one's nation than arts. The Dutch post-impressionist, Van Gogh's paintings, such as The starry night, are displayed in the museum of modern art in New York; Beethoven' music is enjoyed by foreigners interested in Germany; Shakespeare’s plays are performed in Shanghai’s theaters. The more popular a nation's arts are, the longer its culture exists in the history of human beings.
Last but not least, arts' advancement also benefit the national economy.(the national economy can not live without the advancement of arts benefit在文中已经出现过好几次了) The rapid development of market economy combines arts and commerce in a magic and profitable way. It seems that arts become a strong point in economic increase. Hollywood, for instance, is the well-known success of this combination. American arts and entertainment industry progress hand in hand. Western cowboys, rock music and jazz, inspiring biography and novels, etc, all these bring the box office. Of cause, Disneyland is another huge artistic and commercial accomplishment.
For what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that governments should funds more on the artistic field so that not only us, but also our generations can be beneficial from arts.

wazzaUID: 2473807

谢谢 yoyodandy  的拍文！！:p

yangxiaohanhitUID: 2460575

文章写得很好啊，楼上改过的我就不改了。。。我觉得主要是对arts的单复数的问题。还有一个是有关审题的，因为文章都是在说arts怎么怎么好，但是题目要求的是说为什么arts比athletics更好。。。所以我觉得这个方面要主义一下
Recently the problem of the use of government's fund has drawn public attention. Quite a few people hold the view that governments （the government）should financially support athletics. They argue that the joy and pride from their own countries’ golden medals in the Olympic Games deserve the spending. With all aspects carefully considered, however, I still believe that government should give more financial support to the field of arts.
First of all, the development of arts can benefit man's minds and raise people's living standard. Since work is not the only thing in people's lives, individuals need avocation in (the)spare time. The enjoyable and instructive activities of (不要of，用such as)？arts can help people get rid of bother and gain knowledge at the same time. For example, reading Shakespeare’s famous play---‘The merchant of Venice’, readers are immersed in the appealing plots. After that, they are probably eager to learn more about the city of water---Venice. Literature edifies public, whereas music relaxes them.这句写得非常好啊。。。 Many years ago, concert is the privilege of the wealthy. But now it knocks ordinary people's doors. That the public have more access to arts is an advancement of a society.
Also, arts （arts在这里是单数？）helps a nation to propagate its own and unique culture to the world. Arts, the symbol of a country, play an important role in culture. There is no any better way to remind others of one's nation than arts. The Dutch post-impressionist, Van Gogh's paintings, such as The starry night都大写, are displayed in the museum of modern art in New York; Beethoven' music is enjoyed by foreigners interested in Germany; Shakespeare’s plays are performed in Shanghai’s theaters. The more popular a nation's arts are, the longer its culture exists in the history of human beings.
Last but not the least, arts' advancement also benefits the national economy. The rapid development of market economy combines arts and commerce in a magic and profitable way. It seems that arts become a strong point in economic increase. Hollywood, for instance, is the well-known success of this combination. American arts and entertainment industry progress hand in hand. Western cowboys, rock music and jazz, inspiring biography and novels, etc, all these bring the box office. Of cause, Disneyland is another huge artistic and commercial accomplishment.
For what has been discussed above, we may safely reach the conclusion that governments should funds more on the artistic field so that not only us, but also our generations can be beneficial from arts.