【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组mintsh第十次作业】-

mintshUID: 2460474

     Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.

   There has been an everlasting controversy on the issue whether governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. To be frank, it is quite a difficult choice for me, but I am inclined to approve of governments’ emphasis on the arts. A couple of reasons are in favor of my standpoint.
    In the first place, the status quo of arts seems to be even worse than that of athletics. With the economy striving at an exhilarating speed, the infrastructure is constructed or optimized of which the sports utilities take up an indispensable proportion. Set the citizens in our neighborhood for example, they spare their leisure time to do some sports of diversity regularly and the utilities equipped in the community work in an efficient way. Accompanied by the increasing attention on physical health, sports have gradually become the focus of the public. On the opposite side, people rarely get fascinated by arts. It is partly resulted from the limited appreciation on arts of civilians while the qualified artists are minorities of the whole population. When a person does not own the basic understanding in certain field, it is almost impossible for him/her to be attracted. Then, the situation starts to be trapped in a vicious cycle. In a long run, the arts can hardly appeal to its spectators and the arts are probable to step on the path towards recession.
    Furthermore, the benefits following arts are also neglected since the arts are no longer so popular with people as it was before. One positive aspect is that the process of studying arts will cultivate the precious habit of abstract thinking. Because the most works of arts contain their profound meanings behind the superficial forms of painting. The capability of comprehension on the arts costs much time on thinking in a rather deeper way, which reinforce/enhance our abstract thinking in the same time. Another one is that the enjoyment obtained from the arts improves our quality of life. After a busy daytime, dedicating ourselves in the world of arts provides a brand new type for relaxing. Additionally, people who are sensitive to arts are supposed to perceive the subtle beauty or happiness in daily life more acutely.
   From all the contents mentioned above, the arts the situation of which keeps deteriorating play a significant role in our life. If the governments invest more money on this area, the return shall be unexpectedly enormous.

mintshUID: 2460474

1# mintsh
作业交迟了~~各位板油~~走过路过的~~都可以过来拍拍阿。。感激不尽~~

lucifaUID: 2590585

我也迟了。。O(∩_∩)O哈哈~。要不互拍？

lucifaUID: 2590585

There has been an everlasting controversy on the issue whether governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. To be frank, it is quite a difficult choice for me, but I am inclined to approve of governments’ emphasis on the arts. A couple of reasons are in favor of my standpoint.
    In the first place, the status quo of arts seems to be even worse than that of athletics. With the economy striving at an exhilarating speed, the infrastructure is constructed or optimized of which the sports utilities take up an indispensable proportion.（这句话含义是什么有点说不通，随着经济的发展，体育事业占据了不可或缺的地位”什么的地位”这个地位是指经济地位还是什么别的。最好指代一下，否则会比较混乱，比如in people’s daily life） Set the citizens in our neighborhood for example, they spare their leisure time to do some sports of diversity regularly and the utilities equipped in the community work in an efficient way. Accompanied by the increasing attention on physical health, sports have gradually become the focus of the public. On the opposite side, people rarely get fascinated by arts. It is partly resulted from the limited appreciation on arts of civilians while the qualified artists are minorities of the whole population. When a person does not own the basic understanding in certain field, it is almost impossible for him/her to be attracted.（这个论点其实不太实际，个人感觉） Then, the situation starts to be trapped in a vicious cycle. In a long run, the arts can hardly appeal to its spectators. (这里含义进了一层不用and并列比较好，不过你后面用了furthermore，所以后面我改的even，不知道合适不。)and the arts are even step on the path towards recession.
    Furthermore, the benefits following arts are also neglected since the arts are no longer so popular with people as it was before. One positive aspect is that the process of studying arts will cultivate the precious habit of abstract thinking. Because the most works of arts contain their profound meanings behind the superficial forms of painting. The capability of comprehension on the arts costs much time on thinking in a rather deeper way,（挺复杂一句，以一种深入的方式花费大量时间在理解艺术作品上，我肯定写不出这么复杂的句子O(∩_∩)O~） which reinforce/enhance our abstract thinking in the same time. Another one is that the enjoyment obtained from the arts improves our quality of life. After a busy daytime, dedicating ourselves in the world of arts provides a brand new type for relaxing. Additionally, people who are sensitive to arts are supposed to perceive the subtle beauty or happiness in daily life more acutely.
   From all the contents mentioned above, the arts the situation of which keeps deteriorating play a significant role in our life（这句什么意思，艺术局势的不断恶化在我们的生活中发挥了重要作用，不如分成两句the arts plays a significant role in our life，but the develop situation of arts is keeping on deteriorating.）. If the governments invest more money on this area, the return shall be unexpectedly enormous.

用词很厉害，段落层次很好，但是部分句子似乎硬组合在一起，句与句之间的关系有些混淆。每个句子之间表达的含义关系不是很紧凑

mintshUID: 2460474

4# lucifa
先谢谢你给我拍哈。。我过段时间会来拍你的。。。文的。。。不是明天就是后天。还有。你的COMMENTS 写得很详细。。我一直都在朝这个拍文的境界努力呢。。。