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[活动] 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组mintsh第十一次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-3-11 19:52:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 mintsh 于 2009-3-11 19:53 编辑

It’s better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice?

It is a complicated choice to make between these two statements. I prefer the latter one that you had better ask other people for advice. This one excels the former one of solving questions all on yourself in a sequence of aspects.

In the first place, the discussion through the process of consulting others for the answers would often result in more efficiency when dealing with some questions. Once you turn to others for help, a cooperation relationship is founded. Thus it is no longer the situation in which you confront with these afflicting affairs alone whereas a team resembles to undertake the problem. For example, contemporary scientists will find it impossible to achieve breakthroughs in any field without the specialized knowledge or expertise developed by forerunners. Newton has presented a modest attitude towards people’s praise by saying that his accomplishment was mainly based on the giant’s endeavors in the past. Let us contemplate on Newton’s words in a different angle. It does indicate the importance to learn from others. Despite that no face to face communication exists, this kind of learning can certainly be considered one type of obtaining advice from some people, perhaps total strangers, as long as you are inspired to new ideas by their thoughts or anything they leave for you. That is to say, the acceptance of suggestion springs up unconsciously.

What is of the same importance is that both you and your partners benefit a lot from the discussion. As an idiom which is familiar to Chinese goes, three ordinary people do a better job than a certain really intelligent man when they join hands on the same task. Unlike the simple equation in which one plus on equals two, it sounds incredibly that one plus one equals more than two. Cooperation promotes a so-called win-win mode since the spark of thoughts gives birth to precious progress. A person with one idea is supposed to be informed with at least two ideas during a heated discussion. Then the solution may seem easier to attain or just a selection from plenty of solutions remains to be done.

Now, it is no exaggeration to conclude that asking others for proposals prove to be superior to the using our own knowledge or experience when bothered with questions.
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发表于 2009-3-12 13:10:14 |只看该作者
It’s better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice?+ u2 q8 X" A( g: u7 b- N
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It is a complicated choice to make between these two statements. I prefer the latter one that you had better ask other people for advice. This one excels(surpasses) the former one of solving questions all on yourself in a sequence(multitude) of aspects(开头简洁).7 y()Q: ~$ N) E7 T9 i( M8 ~
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In the first place, the discussion through the process of consulting others for the answers would often result in more efficiency when dealing with some questions. Once you turn to others for help, a cooperation relationship is founded. Thus it is no longer the situation in which you confront with these afflicting affairs alone, whereas a team resembles to undertake the problem. For example, contemporary scientists will find it impossible to achieve breakthroughs in any field without the specialized knowledge or expertise developed by forerunners. Newton has presented a modest attitude towards people’s praise by saying that his accomplishment was mainly based on the giant’s endeavors in the past. Let us contemplate on Newton’s words in(from) a different angle. It does indicate(emphasize) the importance of learning from others. Despite that no face to face communication exists(despite there are no face-to-face interactions involved), this kind of learning can certainly be considered as one type of obtaining advices from some people, perhaps totally strangers, as long as you are inspired to(by) new ideas by(of) their thoughts or anything they leave for you. That is to say(Consequently),, the acceptance of suggestion springs up unconsciously.(寻找建议可以让自己成功,论述有点混乱,看起来有点乱)
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What is of the same importance is that both you and your partners benefit a lot from the discussion(What’s more, it is equally imp that our partners and us will gain a lot through discussion, which is natural way of asking others for advises.). As an idiom which is familiar to Chinese goes, three ordinary people do a better job than a (extraordinary) intelligent man when they join hands by hands. Unlike the simple equation in which one plus on equals two, it sounds incredibly that one plus one equals more than two. Cooperation promotes a so-called win-to-win(这才是双赢) mode since the spark of thoughts gives birth to precious progress. A person with one idea is supposed to be informed with at least two ideas during a heated discussion. Then the solution may seem easier to attain(be worked out) or just a selection from plenty of solutions remains to be done(与人合作可以双赢,有点勉强,修改已在文章中,括号中).; F9 L$ y3 S. v; q$ r
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Now, it is no exaggeration to conclude that asking others for proposals prove to be superior to the using our own knowledge or experience when bothered with questions.(总结不够有力)

总的来说,文章观点明确,但是论述不足,论点选的角度不好,有点小跑,chilish的感觉很重,建议多加练习

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板凳
发表于 2009-3-13 10:59:24 |只看该作者
It is a complicated choice to make between these two statements. I prefer the latter one that you had better ask other people for advice. This one excels the former one of solving questions all on yourself in a sequence of aspects.(开头很明确的亮出自己观点,这个很好,只是句式稍微注意下变化,会比较引人入胜)
In the first place, the discussion through the process of consulting others for the answers would often result in more efficiency when dealing with some questions. Once you turn to others for help, a cooperation relationship is founded. Thus it is no longer the situation in which you confront with these afflicting affairs alone whereas a team resembles to undertake the problem.(后面这串直接改成do来的顺畅些) For example, contemporary scientists will find it impossible to achieve breakthroughs in any field without the specialized knowledge or expertise developed by forerunners. Newton has presented a modest attitude towards people’s praise by saying that his accomplishment was mainly based on the giant’s endeavors in the past(个人感觉,这个例子不是很贴切。人家老牛是谦虚才这么说的,况且他说这句意思是有前人积累的经验,并不是他去找别人讨论或者要什么宝贵意见。). Let us contemplate on Newton’s words in a different angle. It does indicate the importance to learn from others. Despite that no face to face communication exists, this kind of learning can certainly be considered one type of obtaining advice from some people, perhaps total strangers, as long as you are inspired to new ideas by their thoughts or anything they leave for you. That is to say, the acceptance of suggestion springs up unconsciously.

What is of the same importance is that both you and your partners benefit a lot from the discussion. As an idiom which is familiar to Chinese goes, three ordinary people do a better job than a certain really intelligent man when they join hands on the same task. Unlike the simple equation in which one plus on equals two, it sounds incredibly that one plus one equals more than two. Cooperation promotes a so-called win-win mode since the spark of thoughts gives birth to precious progress. A person with one idea is supposed to be informed with at least two ideas during a heated discussion. Then the solution may seem easier to attain or just a selection from plenty of solutions remains to be done.
Now, it is no exaggeration to conclude that asking others for proposals prove to be superior to the using our own knowledge or experience when bothered with questions. '
总评:文章注意到了句式很词汇的多样性,但是连接起来还不不够顺畅,篇幅有点短,继续努力哈!

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RE: 【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组mintsh第十一次作业】 [修改]

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