TOEFL2009 上半年Dark_Tournament写作小组capricon2006第十四次作业

capricon2006UID: 2278984

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People can learn more from watching television than reading books. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more and more people prefer watching television to reading books. Perhaps they think that they can learn more from watching TV than reading books. I don’t agree with this view and think that reading is still a more common and effective way to acquire knowledge.

First, we can learn something more systematically from reading than from watching TV. Nowadays, in order to obtain higher audience rating, television stations make great efforts to cater to most people. As a result, many programs become more and more shallow and sometimes they cannot satisfy our requirements of profound knowledge. Besides, TV cannot show what we want to know as continuity and we cannot help but wait after one of a series programs broadcasted. To the contrary, books don’t bring us this problem. Since the system of knowledge in book is relatively integrated, we can obtain the knowledge incessantly only through reading.

Moreover, not everything do televisions can tell us, there are some things we must know by reading. For instance, it is difficult for us to obtain some professional knowledge from television. With the development of scientific technology, knowledge become so special that it's improbable for TV programs to tell us. In this instance, only do catenae can meet our requirements. Thus, I consider that there are more choices books provide than televisions.

Finally, it is more effectively for us to learn from reading than from watching television. Dissimilar with television programs, books don't bring us annoying advertisements, which can distract our attentions from learning. In addition, someone, take me as a example, hardly ever think when watching programs. Quickly as I may learn from television, there is no mistaking that also I forget what I just have learned quickly. To sum up, though television has its own advantages, my point of view is that it more effectively and conveniently for us to learn from books than televisions.

wazzaUID: 2473807

1# capricon2006

Nowadays, more and more people prefer watching television to reading books. Perhaps（最好不要用，要肯定相反的观点，为下午的转接做准备） they think that they can learn more from watching TV than reading books（切勿照抄题目，尽量改写）. I don’t agree with this view and think that reading is still a more common and effective way to acquire knowledge. & ~. M6 @6 h# Y" i# C% I




First, we can learn something more systematically from reading than from watching TV. Nowadays, in order to obtain higher audience rating, television stations make great efforts to cater to most（more）people. As a result, many programs become more and more shallow and sometimes they cannot satisfy our requirements of profound knowledge. Besides, TV cannot show what we want to know as continuity and we cannot help but wait after one of a series programs broadcasted. To the contrary, books don’t bring us this problem. Since the system of knowledge in book is relatively integrated, we can obtain the knowledge incessantly only through reading.
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Moreover, not everything do televisions can tell（这个倒装好像用错） us, there are some things we must know by reading. For instance, it is difficult for us to obtain some professional knowledge from television. With the development of scientific technology, knowledge become so special that it's improbable for TV programs to tell us（有点不妥）. In this instance, only do catenae can meet our requirements. Thus, I consider that there are more choices books provide than televisions." W; |2 M" T$

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Finally, it is more effectively for us to learn from reading than from watching television. Dissimilar with television programs, books don't bring us annoying advertisements, which can distract our attentions from learning. In addition, someone, take me as a example, hardly ever think when watching programs. Quickly as I may learn from television, there is no mistaking that also I forget what I just have learned quickly.

To sum up, though television has its own advantages, my point of view is that it more effectively and conveniently for us to learn from books than televisions

1.尽量具体，建议再次仔细阅读OG评分标准。 something ， more choice 之类就不要用了，很抽象
2.尽量客观，不要实用第一人称，除了表达自己的观点选择时
3.观点没有充分展开，缺少具体例子、细节

希望我的建议对你有用。加油

angelmuziflyerUID: 2548676

Nowadays, more and more people prefer watching television to reading books. Perhaps they think （呵呵，think是比较低级的词汇，咱们尽量不用）that they can learn more from watching TV than reading books. I don’t agree with this view and think （regard, state, hold~~~~）that reading is still a more common and effective way to acquire knowledge. (开头开门见山)

First, we can learn something more systematically from reading than from watching TV. Nowadays, in order to obtain higher audience rating, television stations make great efforts to cater to most people. As a result, many programs become more and more shallow and sometimes they cannot satisfy our requirements of profound knowledge. Besides, TV cannot show what we want to know as continuity and we cannot help but wait after one of a series programs broadcasted. To（On） the contrary, books don’t bring us this problem. Since the system of knowledge in book is relatively integrated, we can obtain the knowledge incessantly only through reading.
Moreover, not everything do televisions can tell us（这句是不是有点chinglish了？）, there are some things we must know by reading. For instance, it is difficult for us to obtain some professional knowledge from television. With the development of scientific technology, knowledge become so special that it's improbable for TV programs to tell us. In this instance, only do catenae can meet our requirements. Thus, I consider that there are more choices books provide than televisions.
Finally, it is more effectively for us to learn from reading than from watching television. Dissimilar with television programs, books don't bring us annoying advertisements, which can distract our attentions from learning. In addition, someone, take me as a example, hardly ever think when watching programs. Quickly as I may learn from television, there is no mistaking that also I forget what I just have learned quickly.（有具体的例子很好） To sum up, though television has its own advantages, my point of view is that it more effectively and conveniently for us to learn from books than televisions.
总评：平时多注意词汇的积累，我们写的是托福作文，不是中学生作文。阐明分论点和理由后，后面最好有例子和细节支撑，老美喜欢具体的东西。拍的有点狠，见谅@