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本帖最后由 wangxinfei 于 2009-4-25 23:54 编辑
9No one is perfect and we inevitablymakes (make)some mistakes in our dailylife. We are not alone and when we have problems, our friend(friends) can help us to deal with the problems. The question that whether we should prevent our friend(friends) to do something bad even (加that,是连接修饰something的从句)it would destroy the friendship is not an easy question(question改成to answer会好些). It depend(改成depends on,正式英语里这个on总是要加的,只有俚语it depends,”这视情况而定”) whether the mistake would bring extremly bad effects.
If our friend(friends) is(are) driven crazy by the heavy life burden and will do something that have(觉得改成takes更好) a significant miserable result, we have to and its(it’s) our responsbility to stop them. We are now living in a world which runs in a faster rate than ever(ever before) and there are more things people needs(need) to worry about. Often a person who have a high goal would only recive little, if the person is tired of life or the difference(觉得改成gap更好,表示落差) between the goal and result is huge, the poor one might do something unrationly. For example, a worker who laid off from his position and used up all of his money might come up with an idea(get an idea) to do some stealing. Then his friend must take some actions to help him without considering (even) if it may break their friendship.(是举例子表示在朋友亟需帮助的时候我们该挺身而出,但我觉得没切合要害,这样的情况时去劝朋友应该不会有害怕伤害友谊的难处吧,而且让人家迷途知返的话,他会幡然醒悟,会感激你的,应该不会有友谊破裂的危险^_^)
On the other hand, our friend(friends) might do something wrong but that is not serious, we need not to pay too much attention to it. For example, one of my friend(friends) likes playing computer very much and often could help stop spending(改成could not help stoping wasting, can't help doing sth忍不住/情不自禁去做某事;) too much time playing it. During the weedend, he may go to play computer games without finishing homework. I try(have tried) to stop him(加from this会更好), but he ignores(加it,ignore是及物动词), then I would give up the mind to stop him, it doesnot worth to
give an end to our friendship. People often make small mistakes, and sometimes, we should give them some advices or may just keep an eye on, because it is not very seriours.(这里举例子说明朋友的错误不大时可以不用太过较真而伤害友谊,与上段可呼应)
In addition, friends plays(play) an important role in our life, and without them, we would have a boring and hard time. We would have many problems in our life and it is too hard for people to face all the difficulties alone. Ture friends turst each other, and when they have some problems, they can turn to another for help. When I have some problems, I often find my friend for help, they prevent me from going in to wrong direction. In addition, friend could share their experience and fun. In our class, we studied from each other, doing(did,与studied同等级,我是这样看的) sportes together, that all helps us to have a better performance and enjoys our free time(建议,这一段谈的是朋友的重要性,朋友与自我的生活,感觉这与主题有偏差,应该总结上文的,考官是带着主题看我们的文章的,所以我们写的时候要时刻注意所写的与主题的紧密性^_^)
总结
(1)单复数的多处错误,太多了就会影响考官的整体影响的,平常多注意,考场就轻松多拿些分^_^
(2)蓝色字体是写的好的地方,词汇和词组量比我大多了…..: M
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