[5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 lsr91 第3次作业]

lsr91UID: 2540702

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the' Wfriendship. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
请于本周六（4月25日）晚10点前提交作文连接~~~



My answer:
"Long time no see" is an English colloquial speak which is learn from Chinese and used between good friends. Whatever the country you live in, especially when you are abroad, you really need friends with help. So it is necessary that your friends should be honest, loyal after you said that. In my opinion, the applicability of your friend need to be available to you unless you don't care about that. So, it is a better way to say something before something inevitable to destroy the friendship.



The premise of friendships is comprehension. For example, if two friends haven't reach a consensus, could they make success in a collaboration, like a research/study? Of course not, particularly when they have different ideas. To make matters worse, the divarication between them may finish their friendship. On the contrary, if two friends have everything in common, each of them could do their best during collaboration. And they could be better. (我想说他们会更加要好，不知道对不对)

Most friends of a people are made during his/her teenager age. At this point(我想说基于这一点), friends won't be available when they have a difference due to most of teenager are cussed. So when they come to a branching, their friendships would be break unless someone can yield. But I think they would not be good after that at least not very good. In another way, if you make a friend when you are an adult, the divarication could be finished in a soft way. Of course say something out would be abrupt between friends, that would be better than when two people have problems even they are not friends.



Honesly, I don't deny make a mistake may make friendships better. But that depends what kind of mistake it is. Most of them would be excuse, but what do people do when they face to an unforgivable mistake? I don't think they would let it go and keep their friendships. (严格上说这一段不算一个分论点吧，但是实在想不出第三个了，可能是我同意了后者吧，前者可能更好写些吧)



Make a friend come from far away, you would be happy. Meet a friend come from far away again, you could be radiant. Misunderstand a friend, you must be repentant of your life.

xiusheUID: 2136439

"Long time no see" is an English colloquial speak which is learn（ed） from Chinese and used between good friends. Whatever the(去掉the) country you live in, especially when you are （+living） abroad, you really need friends' (去掉with) help. So it is necessary that your friends should be honest, loyal after you said that(这边逻辑有点乱). In my opinion, the applicability of your（your改为a） friend need to be available to you unless you don't care about that. So（这句也让人摸不着头脑）, it is a better way to say something （+to someone）before something inevitable to destroy the friendship. $ q5 A& c7 S4 l( m8 [0 s
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The premise of friendships is comprehension. For example, if two friends haven't reach a consensus, could they make success in a collaboration,(这个逗号用的不当)  like a research/study? Of course not, particularly when they have（having） different ideas. To make matters worse, the divarication between them may finish their friendship. (这个例子让人难理解)On the contrary, if two friends have everything in common, each of them could do their best during collaboration. And they could be better. D! V# ?
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Most friends of a people are made during his/her teenager age.（改为most people make friends...） At this point(这个表述俺看来说的没啥问题:-D),friends won't be available when they have a difference due to most of teenager are cussed. So when they come to a branching, their friendships would be break unless someone can yield. But I think they would not be good after that at least not very good. In another way, if you make a friend when you are an adult, the divarication could be finished(问题解决用solved可能更合适) in a soft（改为an easy） way. Of course say something out would be abrupt between friends, that would be better than when two people have problems even they are not friends. 7 J4 R3 H0 Q% m! ~7 D2 q


Honesly, I don't deny make a mistake may make friendships better（这里表达的观点有点混乱）. But that depends what kind of mistake it is. Most of them would be excuse, but what do people do when they face to an unforgivable mistake? I don't think they would let it go and keep their friendships.

Make a friend come from far away, you would be happy. Meet a friend come from far away again, you could be radiant. Misunderstand a friend, you must be repentant of your life


用词比较丰富，观点表达方式也很有意思，尤其是第二段的设问句，但是观点表达不够清晰，也没有很好的例证。建议做题之前先花几分钟做一个简单的提纲理清思路再写。
一起加油哇!

xiusheUID: 2136439

还有最后一段的问题 一般作为总结段落 归纳总结一下上文内容就好了，你的文章结构上也需要斟酌，因为这篇看起来感觉好像写了两个"最后一段"

bnlcblgmdnUID: 2632359

"Long time no see" is an English colloquial speak which is learn from Chinese and used between good friends. Whatever the country you live in, especially when you are abroad, you really need friends with help.（我在想，如果这里能用个对仗的句子，例如“不论何时，不论何地”，读起来会更有气势） So it is necessary that your friends should be honest, loyal after you said that.（我不大懂that是指啥，是LTNS？） In my opinion, the applicability of your friend need to be available to you unless you don't care about that. So, it is a better way to say something before something inevitable to destroy the friendship.

The premise of friendships is comprehension. For example, if two friends haven't reach（-ed） a consensus, could they make success in a collaboration, like a research/study? Of course not, particularly when they have different ideas.（我在想，“没有达成共识”可能与“有不同想法”意思一样吧）To make matters worse, the divarication between them may finish their friendship. On the contrary, if two friends have everything in common, each of them could do their best during collaboration. And they could be better. (我想说他们会更加要好，不知道对不对——“要好”还真是挺难找到对应的词，用closer？)

Most friends of a people are made during his/her teenager age. At this point(我想说基于这一点——可以的), friends won't be available when they have a difference due to most of teenagers are cussed. So when they come to a branching, their friendships would be break unless someone can yield. But I think they would not be good after that at least not very good（建议改成“，not so good at least”). In another way, if you make a friend when you are an adult, the divarication could be finished in a soft way. Of course say something out would be abrupt between friends, that would be better than when two people have problems even they are not friends.   L' K( E5 z% R: S7 u9 P5 I& E

Honestly, I don't deny make a mistake may make friendships better. But that depends what kind of mistake it is. Most of them would be excuse, but what do people do when they face to an unforgivable mistake? I don't think they would let it go and keep their friendships. (严格上说这一段不算一个分论点吧，但是实在想不出第三个了，可能是我同意了后者吧，前者可能更好写些吧——我想，作者可以写：一个人犯错误，特别是青年时期，对他自己是好事情，他能学到更多的经验，同时重新认识自己，因此有些错误是值得犯的；同时，自己认为是错误的事情对他人未必真是错误。思想包容一些，我们的思考就更加广博而深刻——补充一下，“重新认识自己”，最近看了很多美片都提到这句话，不知会不会成为加分项呵~)

Make a friend coming from far away（用分词做定语？下同）, you would be happy. Meet a friend come from far away again, you could be radiant. Misunderstand a friend, you must be repentant of your life.

作者写得很好，有自己的想法，而且避免了因使用模板而可能引起的雷同问题。
至于建议呢，我是希望作者能在每段开头写个主题句，以应对老外的思维方式，可能会得到进一步加分
Ps：昨天有事外出，耽搁了一天还望见谅！非常感谢你给我的建议！