大家来找碴1--千万别客气

freezingzwUID: 2464285

剑二 Test 3  Writing task 1

The statistics come from the results of a survey which investigate in purposes and destinations of visit abroad by UK residents over the period of 1994 to 1998.

As we can seen from the first table, visit abroad  for holiday is the most popular ,business purpose coming a close second and visit to friends and relatives being the least popular. Specifically, the number of visit for holiday is 15246 in 1994 , and in 1998 ,reach 20700 finally.The same situation appears in other sections ,namely, 3155 for go abroad and 2689 for friends and relatives in 1994 while 3957 and 3181 in 1998. Generally,there is a steady increase in total number of visit abroad from 1994 to 1998 except for the year 1995 which has a slight decline.

In terms of the second table, the most favorite destination of UK visitors is Western Europe ,followed by North American.The Western Europe occupy the first place by huge advantages shows by the data: the numbers of visitors of Western Europe are 19371  in 1994 and 24519 in 1998 ,against that of North American are 919 in year 1994 and 1823 in year 1998. In addition, there also lies an increase in destinations and which shows the trend of UK pepole prefer to travelling.

H-KevinUID: 2182070

1。第一段有点绕口

2。这句有问题：As we can seen from the first table, visit abroad  for holiday is the most popular ,business purpose coming a close second and visit to friends and relatives being the least popular.

3。感觉全文不够流畅

4。不看图也能看懂你的文章，从这点来说，还不错

freezingzwUID: 2464285

谢谢！ 呵呵 第四点：可能我单词量少 词汇简单的缘故吧 呵呵
不流畅 ？ 恩 是个大问题

freezingzwUID: 2464285

1：第二段首句：visit abroad  for holiday is the most popular 不能做主语吧，除非是动名词，可以改成the most popular purpose to go abroad is for enjoying holiday

2：请注意时态，因为毕竟是描述过去的事情 ...
viecentpan 发表于 2009-4-27 12:10

恩 说的 很好很强大 吸收了