Issue7 [into the fire]第一次作业

meinbayernUID: 2636969

题目：ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
字数：557
用时：01:28:00
日期：2009-5-9 22:52:49

With the development of science and technology, video camera has become an important part in our life. By using it, we can record many detail things that written records could hardly record accurately and objectively. For that reason, the speaker claims that the form of written records have been replaced by video camera. Although I agree on that video camera could record our life in an efficient way, the form of written also has its irreplaceable advantages.

To begin with, apparently, different from the only-two-color and stubborn written records, video camera documents the events, the stories, and the breaking moments with lively and sound making pictures, which much more explicitly replays to the audience the scenes. Take the recording of history as an example, people mainly read the historical records with their imaginations, and whether the historical events were described accurately and objectively is open to doubt.
Those shortages of written records result in many disputes of some historical events.
Another example is the recording of our daily life. Wedding, birthday party, and the born of new life, there are a lot of things we want to record in our lives. Obviously, the form of written records could not catch some breathtaking moment, and video camera is an efficient way of recording.

Another merit of the video camera is, to the contrary of written records, it is very easy and convenient for people, no matter in recording or restore. Consider, when someone want to describe a scenes by writing, he or she must take many factors into account, such as whether the words are used appropriately, whether the sequences of describing is well to understand. With the video camera, we just need to push a button, then, we could get a lively picture.

However advanced video camera in modern times, it can not entirely replace written records, and written records are also an indispensable form of documentation in the contemporary society. Making a comparison with the video camera, the written records are able to offer some important information to people, which is hard to display through the camera lens. A good example is about the disaster of earthquake last year in Sichuan province of China, the video camera does not have the ability to tell people h how many people lost their lives or became homeless and how much the economic loss was, which can be, nevertheless, revealed from the written records. Moreover, the profound thought of the human beings is also not able to be record by the camera but the written records. It is impossible for a composer to display a new piece of music that is just formed in his mind to people through camera, but he can write it down and let others know it. In a word, on documentation, the written records possess some strongpoint that could not be matched by the video camera.

Actually, neither of the functions of the video camera and the written records should be neglected but to be utilized appropriately to reinforce each other. In Many newspapers and magazines, both pictures and written records are frequently used. With both the tools, people have the capacity to record the contemporary life perfectly.

To sum up, both camera video and written are all have its own irreplaceable merits. The video camera provides us the shapes and colors of the world, and the written records let us realize the essences of the world.

evonhanyfUID: 2489528

With the development of science and technology, video camera has become an important part in our life. By using it, we can record many detail things that written records could hardly record accurately and objectively. For that reason, the speaker claims that the form of written records have been replaced by video camera. Although I agree on that video camera could record our life in an efficient way, the form of written also has its irreplaceable advantages.

To begin with, apparently, different from the only-two-color and stubborn written records, video camera documents the events, the stories, and the breaking moments（没看懂这个~是指休闲时刻？还是打破纪录的时刻。。。） with lively and sound making pictures, which much more explicitly replays to the audience the scenes. Take the recording of history as an example, people mainly read the historical records with their imaginations, and whether the historical events were described accurately and objectively is open to doubt.（写得很有道理）Those shortages of written records result in many disputes of some historical events.
Another example is the recording of our daily life. Wedding, birthday party, and the born of new life, there are a lot of things we want to record in our lives. Obviously, the form of written records could not catch some breathtaking moment, and video camera is an efficient way of recording.

连接的词句运用得不错～论据不错
Another merit of the video camera is, to the contrary of written records, it is very easy and convenient for people,. Consider, when someone want to describe a scenes by writing, he or she must take many factors into account, such as whether the words are used appropriately, whether the sequences of describing is well to understand. With the video camera, we just need to push a button, then, we could get a lively picture.

这段主题句是说video camera 很方便no matter in recording or restore。但段落中只突出了记录很方便，却没说到储存的方便。建议加上
However advanced video camera in modern times, it can not entirely replace written records, and written records are also an indispensable form of documentation in the contemporary society. Making a comparison with the video camera, the written records are able to offer some important information to people, which is hard to display through the camera lens. A good example is about the disaster of earthquake last year in Sichuan province of China, the video camera does（did） not have the ability to tell people h how many people lost their lives or became homeless and how much the economic loss was, which can be, nevertheless, revealed from the written records. Moreover, the profound thought of the human beings is also not able to be record by the camera but the written records. It is impossible for a composer to display a new piece of music that is just formed in his mind to people through camera, but he can write it down and let others know it. In a word, on documentation, the written records possess some strongpoint that could not be matched by the video camera.

这段逻辑清晰且有理有据～层次鲜明
Actually, neither of the functions of the video camera and the written records should be neglected but to be utilized appropriately to reinforce each other. In Many newspapers and magazines, both pictures and written records are frequently used. With both the tools, people have the capacity to record the contemporary life perfectly.

此段将两者结合，对全文来说是逻辑缜密的表现(貌似就是我欠缺的。。。sigh～)
To sum up, both camera video and written are all have its own irreplaceable merits. The video camera provides us the shapes and colors of the world, and the written records let us realize the essences of the world.（结尾这句很有力）

善于运用连接词和连接句，使整篇文章很有逻辑连贯性，文字流畅～不知道是第几次写？只用了那么点时间。。。而且都没什么低级错误。。。我第一次写～磨了很久才写出来的说～还超多低级错误

Anyway～加油！共勉～～

pingkoUID: 2622837

其实是用了很长时间的。。。
第一遍写完了没存住

第二遍写，所以时间用得少   囧