Issue7 =So What=小组第一次作业 by mqi07

mqi07UID: 2521740

Issue7 =So What=小组第一次作业 by mqi07

素材 (自己想的，不知道说服力强不强)
关于 video 好处的：movie-- record dynamic image and voice，express  passions， show  culture ， help to   spread and inheritance of dance
                             olympic games--video使其超越了狭义的竞技体育的概念：visual enjoyment, make a profit

关于written records好处的：record history ; 现代人要研究历史就必须根据流传下来的written records
关于video 坏处的：用起来没有书面方便--需要电源power source,   存储设备 storage equipments, 播放器 player

mqi07UID: 2521740

7. "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
摄像机可以通过如此精确而有力的记录手段来再现当代生活，因此它已经代替书面记录成为了一种更重要的记录手段。


貌似我的提纲太啰嗦了==!

提纲
1.承认video document确实很重要，尤其是对于现代生活来说。（1）video 是科技发展的产物，是顺应了人类社会为了更好的进行记录的需要而产生的。（2）优点  能记录动态的影像 声音，不仅带来便捷，更是给人们带来了娱乐：电影--表达情感，向不同种族的人展示自己的文化；音乐录影带--不在像以前那样只能通过留声机 只闻声 不见人 ，而是达到了音像合一；又因为许多舞蹈是与音乐紧紧结合的，因此也有利于舞蹈的传播和传承。（3）例子，奥运会的盛况 ，古希腊的奥运会只能从只言片语的记录上得之，而自从有了video后，人们能够将开幕式，比赛记录，闭幕式都完整生动的记录。有了video后，人们为了更好的展示自己，而愈加重视奥运会上开幕式的表演，因而为人们带来了越来越多视觉享受；举办国拥有转播权并且以此盈利，并且已经产业化。这些都说明video使得奥运会早已超过了体育竞技比赛这一狭义概念。


2.但 video相对于书面记录会有很多限制。（1）书面记录是人类历史上早就存在的，记录了人类几千年的历史，并且也随着社会进步而发展的--从早期 刻在石头，器皿，龟甲，到竹简，牛皮纸，到现在的纸，而现代社会中一个很重要部分就是人们要研究历史，那么就必须依靠这些书面记录，从中寻找所需信息为现代生活服务，这是video无法办到的----时间的限制（2）空间的限制-- video需要很多辅助设备，如电源，存储设备，播放时还需要显示器，甚至是屏幕等，但不是在何时何地都有这种条件。但书面记录就现对简单多了，大多时候，只要纸和笔就行。


in sum, video必不可少，却不能代替纸，两者各有千秋，应都给予重视并充分利用。

mqi07UID: 2521740

TOPIC: ISSUE7 - "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records."
WORDS:500        TIME: 02:15:00          DATE: 2009-5-24 19:31:02

The speaker claims that the video camera is a more significant tool for people to record than written records due to the former's accurate and convincing characteristics. In my opinion, video camera is as important as written records because each has different uses in specific circumstances and  both of them should be used given sufficient attention to.

Video camera is the product of scientific and technological development, which conforms to the human society's needs of making better records. It can record dynamic image and voice, which  bring about not only lots of conveninence but also entertainments to people. For instance, movie is a medium to express our passions and also a carrier to show one's own culture to people of different races. Similarly, music videos ,which have overcome the difficulties that gramophone could only record the sound , can offer us both voice and image at the same time. In addition, it contribute to the spread and inheritance of dance for dance is closely integrated with music. Take the olympic games for example, we can only speculate the Acient Greece olympic pageantry according to record of few words on the stone. But after video, people can record the opening ceremony, the games and the closing ceremony completely and vividly. Even more, to better show a nation to the world, people from the host country  perform wonderfully in the ceremony, which pass the visual enjoyment to the whole world. And, the host country can make a profit because it has the brocast rights, making the olympic industrialization as well as commercialization. Thus, we can conclude that it is the video camera that make the olympic beyond the narrow concept --athletics competiton.

Written records have been existing for a very long time, almost since the begining of human civilization. They have recorded thousands of years of human history, and haved been developed with the social process: from the early stage — engraved in the stone and  tortoise shells to the period of written on the bamboo sheets and kraft paper , until now we using paper. What's more, one of the most important part of the modern society researches is studying the history,  in which people must depend on those written records to find out the useful information to the modern society,and, that is what the video camera cannot supply to people. Another advantage of the written records is they are more convenient to use. People must prepare a lot of auxiliary equipment  to operate the video camera and play it , such as power source, storage devices, the player,  even the screen. But we cannot make sure such conditions are available everywhere and everytime. However, written records are much simpler and most of the time we only need the pen and paper to finish the records.

In sum, the video camera is absolutely essential for our life, but it cannot take the place of  written records. Consequently each has its good points, and we must make full use of  them both.

miki7catUID: 2533330

[]认为不妥的表达或用法，还有拼写错误。后面（）里为解释说明


{}原句内容 <>建议修改为

The speaker claims that the video camera is a more significant tool for people to record than written records due to the former's accurate and convincing characteristics. In my opinion, video camera is as important as written records because each has different uses in specific circumstances and both of them should be used [and?] given sufficient attention to.

Video camera is the product of scientific and technological development, which conforms to the human society's needs of making better records. It can record dynamic image and voice, which bring about not only lots of [conveniences] but also entertainments to people. For instance, movie is a medium to express our passions and also a carrier to show one's own culture to people of different races. Similarly, music videos, which have overcome the difficulties that gramophone could only record the sound, can offer us both voice and image at the same time. In addition, it [contributes] to the spread and inheritance of dance for dance is closely integrated with music. Taking（这里之前没有注意。如果用take的话，example后面的逗号改为句号。We can另起一句） the [Olympic]（专有名词大写） games for example, we can only speculate the [Ancient] Greece [Olympic] pageantry according to record of few words on the stone. But after video, people can record the opening ceremony, the games and the closing ceremony completely and vividly. Even more, to better show a nation to the world, people from the host country [performed] wonderfully in the ceremony, which pass the visual enjoyment to the whole world. And, the host country can make a profit because it has the [broadcast?] rights, making the [Olympic] industrialization as well as commercialization. Thus, we can conclude that it is the video camera that make the [Olympic] beyond the narrow concept --athletics [competition].

Written records have {been existing} <existed> for a very long time, almost since the [beginning] of human civilization. They have recorded thousands of years of human history, and [have] been developed with the social process: from the early stage — engraved in the stone and tortoise shells —（作为插入语，不应该和后面的内容相连） to the period of written on the bamboo sheets and kraft paper, until now we (are) using paper. (这里不知道是不是应该修改。如果we using paper做now的同位语，原作应该是对的。但是一般until now作为一个整体做句子的状语吧，那么后面就应该跟一个完整的句子。)What's more, [one of the most important part of the modern society researches is studying the history, in which people must depend on those written records to find out the useful information to the modern society, and, that is what the video camera cannot supply to people.] （在这里做这个解释有什么用啊？这个例证或者说分论点是不是不太靠题？题目是“记录”手段，而不是“研究”手段，毕竟video要出现的晚的多啊，之前只是没有视频记录，而不是视频记录无法研究历史啊）Another advantage of the written records is they are more convenient to use. People must prepare a lot of auxiliary equipment to operate the video camera and play it, such as power source, storage devices, the player, even the screen. But we cannot make sure such conditions are available everywhere and everytime. However, written records are much simpler and most of the time we only need the pen and paper to finish the records.

In sum, the video camera is absolutely essential for our life, but it cannot take the place of written records. Consequently each has its good points, and we must make full use of them both.


拼写错误较多

再读一遍想学习一下小7的用词，然后发现了新的问题。
说明第一遍改的不认真啊！惭愧啊惭愧！

linyan821230UID: 2638813

The speaker claims that the video camera is a more significant tool for people to record [1] than written records due to the former's accurate and convincing characteristics. In my opinion, video camera is as important as written records because each has different uses [2] in specific circumstances and  both of them should be used [3] given sufficient attention to.
[1] record what? record是及物动词，需要宾语;
[2]”each has difference uses”我的理解是“在特定场合下，摄像机和书面记录都有多种不同的用途”，可我想你是想表达“摄像机和书面记录在特定场合下的各有所长，用途不同”，意思似乎有点偏离。建议”…because they apply to different requirements”
[3]建议”should be paid sufficient attention to”
Video camera is the product of scientific and technological development, which conforms to the human society's needs of making better records. It can record dynamic image and voice, which bring about
[4](带来 bring with) not only lots of conveninence but also entertainments to people. For instance, movie is a medium to express our passions and also a carrier to show one's own culture to people of different races. Similarly, music videos, which have overcome the difficulties [5](不足？shortcoming)that gramophone could only record the sound, can offer us both voice and image at the same time. In addition, it contributes to the spread and inheritance of dance for dance is closely integrated with music. Take the olympic games [6] (Olympic Games) for example, we can only speculate the Acient Greece Olympic pageantry according to record of few words on the stone. But after [7] (with) video, people can record the opening ceremony, the games and the closing ceremony completely and vividly. Even more, to better show a nation to the world, people from the host country perform wonderfully in the ceremony, which pass the visual enjoyment to the whole world. [8] (向世界展示国家形象是show a nation to the world ?; people from the host country 和主题有点远；另外，将视觉娱乐传到全世界还有网络和卫星转播的功劳在，是不是说不清。个人认为这句可以删去) And, the host country can make a profit because it has the brocast (broadcast) rights, making the Olympics industrialization as well as commercialization.[9](使奥运工业化和商业化？合适吗？) Thus, we can conclude that it is the video camera that make the Olympics beyond the narrow concept --athletics competiton(competition).

Written records have been existing [10] (existed) for a very long time, almost since the begining (beginning) of human civilization. They have recorded thousands of years of human history, and haved (have) been developed with the social process: from the early stage — engraved in the stone and  tortoise shells to the period of written on the bamboo sheets and kraft paper , until now we (our) using paper. What's more, one of the most important part (parts) of the modern society researches is studying the history, in which people must depend on those written records to find out the useful information to the modern society, and, that is what the video camera cannot supply to people. Another advantage of the written records is they are more convenient to use. People must prepare a lot of auxiliary equipment to operate the video camera and play it , such as power source, storage devices, the player,  even the screen. But we cannot make sure such conditions are available everywhere and everytime (随时随地 any time and anywhere). However, written records are much simpler and most of the time we only need the pen and paper to finish the records.

In sum, the video camera is absolutely essential for our life, but it cannot take the place of written records. Consequently each has its good points, and we must make full use of them both.

mqi07UID: 2521740

修改后

The speaker claims that the video camera is a more significant tool for people to record than written records due to the former's accurate and convincing characteristics. In my opinion, video camera is as important as written records because because they apply to different requirements in specific circumstances and  both of them should be used given sufficient attention to.

Video camera is the product of scientific and technological development, which conforms to the human society's needs of making better records. It can record dynamic image and voice, which  bring about not only lots of convenience but also entertainments to people. For instance, movie is a medium to express our passions and also a carrier to show one's own culture to people of different races. Similarly, music videos ,which have overcome the difficulties that gramophone could only record the sound , can offer us both voice and image at the same time. In addition, it contributes to the spread and inheritance of dance for dance is closely integrated with music. Taking the olympic games for example, we can only speculate the Ancient Greece Olympic pageantry according to record of few words on the stone. But with video, people can record the opening ceremony, the games and the closing ceremony completely and vividly. Even more, to better show a nation to the world, people from the host country  perform wonderfully in the ceremony, which pass the visual enjoyment to the whole world. And, the host country can make a profit because it has the broadcast rights, making the Olympic industrialization as well as commercialization. Thus, we can conclude that it is the video camera that make the olympic beyond the narrow concept --athletics competiiton.

Written records have been existed for a very long time, almost since the beginning of human civilization. They have recorded thousands of years of human history, and have been developed with the social process: from the early stage — engraved in the stone and  tortoise shells— to the period of written on the bamboo sheets and kraft paper , until now when we are using paper. What's more, one of the most important parts of the modern society researches is studying the history,  in which people must depend on those written records to find out the useful information to the modern society,and, that is what the video camera cannot supply to people. Another advantage of the written records is they are more convenient to use. People must prepare a lot of auxiliary equipment  to operate the video camera and play it , such as power source, storage devices, the player,  even the screen. But we cannot make sure such conditions are available any time and anywhere. However, written records are much simpler and most of the time we only need the pen and paper to finish the records.

In sum, the video camera is absolutely essential for our life, but it cannot take the place of  written records. Consequently each has its good points, and we must make full use of  them both.