0910AW 同主题写作第一期 issue13 by xoxlol

XOXLOLUID：2309408

TOPIC: ISSUE13 - "Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."

Unlike most of other animal or plant species' communication system, human language is learned instead of biologically inherited. Therefore, the fact that which language to learn and use is depended on our will and purposes pushes half of the existing languages at the verge of extinction. Considering the importance of language diversity, I agree with the speaker's advocacy that government should take action to save languages that faced the imminent threat of extinction, meanwhile, however, endangered languages cannot be protected solely by government's efforts due to the causes of this language vanishing trend and multiple duties and limited resources and manpower of government.
Indisputably, language diversity plays an insignificant role in human heritage. It is an evident fact that numerous discoveries of historical civilizations and lost cultures needs the understanding of the languages in which they are documented to be explained and studied, during the process of which the impact on fields like history, archeology, literature, science and philosophy is imponderable. Accordingly, the loss of a language will result in a bigger loss of the knowledge of the culture and thousands of years' accumulated experiences and systems of human-nature relationship. Moreover, ancestors' legacies recorded in certain languages cannot be passed down in another medium from generation to generation. To support this point, one needs look no further than the traditional Chinese poetry, from which the wisdom of our ancestors has glinted and informed us through centuries. The musical rhythm, ingenious symbolism and even master-skilled irony can hardly be transacted into another language due to lack of vocabulary and relevant situation. Another scenario has to be taken into regard is that people from a community completely abandon their native tongue may potentially lose their deep love and pride for the community and its customs, then eventually lose their own senses of identities in nowadays multi-culture stew pot.
Paradoxically, living in the era of speeding industrialization and globalization, global mobility and global citizen identity have come into prominence which enhances the trend of extinguishing minor languages. This scenario is most obvious in some educational institutions of the communities where minority languages are spoken, since it is scientific fact that a language is easier learnt in childhood than later. In accord, members from those communities put much heavier weight on globally wide-used language, say English or Chinese, than their own native languages in the educational process, additionally authorities of some communities even replace their native tongue by another most spoken one as an official language. A well accepted explanation is that children educated in a minor language suffer economic and social disadvantage compared to children have a dominant national or trade language background. In another word, the demand of facing global challenges and opportunities is a powerful generator to learn a "global language" instead of a seemingly useless one. Meanwhile, media, whose immensity has never been more noticeable with the help of Internet, serves as another catalyst of language extinction. Modern languages is being spread faster and wider by nowadays media, which leads more people, especially trend-following youngsters who are supposed to inherit traditional languages and cultures, to adopt these up-to-date languages and avoid their own native tongues because they do not sound cool or are only spoken by grandpas.
Understandably, governments should take positions at the frontier of this language protecting battle by devoting accurate resources and manpower to uprouse public awareness  and appoint linguists and experts worldwide to work hand in hand to study and document endangered languages. Yet, limited resources and manpower has to be distributed to other pressing social problems too. Thus, support and cooperation from volunteers, educators and philanthropists from various organizations and institutions are in need to emilinate the language crisis. For instance, the Aboriginal Awareness Day held annually by Loyalist College has made an impressive progress in its local native communities, where the portion of populace that speak their native tongue fluently has increased from 10% to 35% during the years between 1996 and 2003.The measure and result of Loyalist College is very advisable and encouraging, and indicates the incredible effectiveness of aggregated individual efforts, after all language is a medium of communication which is mainly used by all walks of people.
To sum up, language is a symbol and carrier of human treasures which deserves the responsibility of government and obligation of every one of us to not only prevent it from extinction but also preserve it for academic development and human heritage.

wisleUID：2578616

童鞋，按照规定，很荣幸改你的ISSUE，呵呵，是第一篇嘛？看上去好长！

Unlike most of other animal or plant species' communication system(s), human language is learned instead of biologically inherited(整句表达不够Native，感觉怪怪的). Therefore, the fact that (choosing) which language to learn and use is depended on our will (willing) and purposes pushes half of the existing languages at the verge of extinction. Considering the importance of language diversity, I agree with the speaker's advocacy that government should take action to save languages that faced the imminent threat of extinction, meanwhile, however,(连用两个副词恰当嘛？) endangered languages cannot be protected solely by government's efforts due to the causes of this language vanishing trend and multiple duties and limited resources and manpower of government.（应该提前到however后）
Indisputably, language diversity plays an insignificant role in human heritage. It is an evident fact that numerous discoveries of historical civilizations and lost cultures needs the understanding of the languages in which they are documented to be explained and studied, during the process of which the impact on fields like history, archeology, literature, science and philosophy is imponderable. Accordingly, the loss of a language will result in a bigger loss of the knowledge of the culture and thousands of years' accumulated experiences and systems of human-nature relationship.（多个理由的列举显得，句子有些冗长）
Moreover, ancestors' legacies recorded in certain languages cannot be passed down in another medium from generation to generation. To support this point, one needs look no further than the traditional Chinese poetry, from which the wisdom of our ancestors has glinted and informed us through centuries. The musical rhythm, ingenious symbolism and even master-skilled irony can hardly be transacted into another language due to lack of vocabulary and relevant situation. Another scenario has to be taken into regard is that people from a community completely abandon their native tongue may potentially lose their deep love and pride for the community and its customs, then eventually lose their own senses of identities in nowadays multi-culture stew pot.（观点不错）
Paradoxically, living in the era of speeding industrialization and globalization, global mobility and global citizen identity have come into prominence which enhances the trend of extinguishing minor languages. This scenario is most obvious in some educational institutions of the communities where minority languages are spoken, since it is scientific fact that a language is easier learnt in childhood than later. In accord, members from those communities put much heavier weight on globally wide-used language, say English or Chinese, than their own native languages in the educational process, additionally authorities of some communities even replace their native tongue by another most spoken one as an official language. A well accepted explanation is that children educated in a minor language suffer economic and social disadvantage compared to children have a dominant national or trade language background. In another word, the demand of facing global challenges and opportunities is a powerful generator to learn a "global language" instead of a seemingly useless one. Meanwhile, media, whose immensity has never been more noticeable with the help of Internet, serves as another catalyst of language extinction. Modern languages is being spread faster and wider by nowadays media, which leads more people, especially trend-following youngsters who are supposed to inherit traditional languages and cultures, to adopt these up-to-date languages and avoid their own native tongues because they do not sound cool or are only spoken by grandpas.
Understandably, governments should take positions at the frontier of this language protecting battle by devoting accurate resources and manpower to uprouse（up rise） public awareness  and appoint linguists and experts worldwide to work hand in hand to study and document endangered languages. Yet, limited resources and manpower has to be distributed to other pressing social problems too. （多余）Thus, support and cooperation from volunteers, educators and philanthropists from various organizations and institutions are in need to eliminate the language crisis. For instance, the Aboriginal Awareness Day held annually by Loyalist College has made an impressive progress in its local native communities, where the portion of populace that speak their native tongue fluently has increased from 10% to 35% during the years between 1996 and 2003.The measure and result of Loyalist College is very advisable and encouraging, and indicates the incredible effectiveness of aggregated individual efforts, after all language is a medium of communication which is mainly used by all walks of people.
To sum up, language is a symbol and carrier of human treasures which deserves the responsibility of government and obligation of every one of us（多余）to not only prevent it from extinction but also preserve it for academic development and human heritage.

终于读完了~！！！！文章好长呀，大概720多字，而且整篇文章的长句暴多，差点崩溃。建议有些地方可以避免长句，是不是可以考虑简洁但又不失技法的短句。以上文章修改纯属个人意见，见笑！

XOXLOLUID：2309408

谢谢ls 辛苦了！意见很好 有启发 努力改造中