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本帖最后由 echo0805 于 2009-6-4 18:37 编辑
As we all know, languages are the(在这有点多余吧) every person’s principle tools for interacting and for(同上)expressing ideas, emotions, knowledge, memories and values and the language is an intangible vehicle around us everywhere. The extinction of each knowledge results in the irrecoverable loss of unique cultural, historical and ecological knowledge. Therefore, I basically agree with the assertion that the government should take measures to protect the lesser-known languages that are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them in order to avoid (being extinct个人觉得这样比较好)that they will become extinct. And among all the measures, making the civilian positively take part in the language preservation shall not be neglected and is probably an important approach.
To begin with, no one can deny that the languages play a critical role in the human society and the world. All intangible cultural heritage domains depend on language for day-to-day practice and inter-generational transmission and the language is the very essence in the domain of oral traditions and expressions. (这个句子比较长,但是是用and连结的,建议两个不同意思的就分开写好。假如想写长句的话就换个句式)Without the languages, we cannot imagine what our life would be and we cannot imagine (有点---简洁点好些)how the civilization and the achievements of the society could not be recorded or handed down generation by generation.(这个句子有问题吧,语义不通。不知道你是不是这个意思。how the civilization and the achievements of the society would be if they can’t be recorded or handed down generation by generation.) As a famous linguist in Harvard once said (and I paraphrase), a language, which has witnessed the growing of a nation, is the soul of a country and a key to open the gate of the history. Moreover, the language is a significant ingredient of each culture, through language, we can obtain the information about each side of the society and understand more comprehensively of a country.
However, if some languages disappear, the result would be detrimental to the human society and it would result in the irrecoverable loss of unique cultural, historical, and ecological knowledge. As we know, each language is a unique expression of human experience in this world and the knowledge of any single language may be the key to answer the fundamental questions of the future. Therefore, every time the language dies, we have less evidence to understand the actual life and experience of human prehistory and the maintenance of the diverse ecosystem, and what’s more, the original ethnic and cultural identity is partially lost.. (以上两段共同的问题都是,缺乏具体的东西,多点抽象变具体会显得有血有肉。还有就是论证的不够深入)
Therefore, the government shall establish the effective measures to minimize the lesser spoken languages-dying process or to avoid that the lesser-known languages becomes extinct. First of all, with the sufficient financial support and manpower dedicated to the dying languages, a special project aimedat (?)keeping and researching the documents concerning traditional culture and languages can be launched, and the linguists will be able to carry on the extensive and profound research, the result of which could help the historian and the archaeologist gain access to the core of the culture. So the fruit of the research and findings could contribute to the government to introduce some guidelines to enlarge the scope that the languages are spoken. Also, apart from the funds, special attention to drawing the practical policies for the preservation of the dying languages from the government is strongly needed .For example, the Education department could design the curriculum that encourages the youth(youths/the youth) to learn and communicate with their local language as the preferred tongue, the teachers could instruct the students how to dig out and appreciate the potential values of the language, and make them take pride in the preciousness of the local language. Moreover, the government should propagandize through all kinds approaches (for example, to explore the webset in the lesser spoken languages) to increase the consciousness of civilian about the preservation of the languages that are being extinct and make all levels of people aware of the uniqueness and irreplaceableness (irreplaceability)of the language that their ancestor have been using day and night. Thus the dying language is preserved radically.(这部分写得是不错,但是有点多哦,个人认为这一段内容其实只要简单地提一提,相反,上面两段可以深入一点。所以建议把这一段删减一点)
To sum up, language is one of the pearl in the culture necklace. The government should take all the appropriate measures to prevent the lesser-known and lesser-spoken language from being extinct the obligation of civilian to actively engage in the preservation shall be encouraged and strengthened.
(总的来说,语言是不错的,条理也很清晰。有很多值得我学习的地方。但是我还是给你提点建议:1、如果要写长句的话,要增加句式的多样性,不要单纯用and 连在一起。多用连词造句,有点用的。2、把二三段写多点,第四段删减些,虽然写的很好。这样才不会觉得你没抓住重点。3、多一点抽象变具体的句子。水平有限,不当之处,多多见谅。加油!) |
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