ARGUMENT173 @@A DREAM @@小组第1次作业 by bestcamp

bestcampUID: 2640940

素材

bestcampUID: 2640940

ARGUMENT173
The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.
'Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers.'

题目翻译：在过去三年那些销量最差的杂志都是将国际新闻做封面的。同期的一些竞争杂志都大幅度的削减了国际新闻的版面。同时维持我们海外部门汇总国际新闻的代价越来越高。由于这些原因，我们应当适减弱我们对国际新闻的关注而且尽量减少采用这些新闻来做封面。

bestcampUID: 2640940

我的第一篇ARGUMENT,这种驳论文我是真的第一次写，感觉逻辑错误挺难的，角度比较刁钻。貌似字数偏少（用时1h，大大超时！！！）
希望大家不必客气，下重笔。只有铁血才能出精品！谢谢先！！！
正文：
      We have received three reasons to accept the writer’s opinion that covers with international news drop the selling and it should be diminished.These reasons seem powerful to support the idea,but it seems not when I have it thought over.There are the reasons why I say that.
      Firstly, writer links selling condition with covers of international news.I think cover only covers a part in people’s chioce.Actually, we all know that you will support a magazine mostly related to its quality, because good quality is the basic guarantee to remain the consuming group. I do not deny the importance of an attracting cover,but I think a good cover can only provide once purchase beccause it is originated from impulse.
      Secondly,writer talks about the situation about the competing ones.Their decreasing in the choosing material based on international news has provided a good prove.But I have to ask two questions.One is what is the situation like before their declining.Is it really uncompareable to the changed ones?It may be not.The other is that how much of the contents have changed along with the changing of cover.As I have said above,it is most likely the changing of content that improves the sellings.
      Thirdly,writer thinks the overseas cost is increasing,and that accouts for the declining.I agree with the increasing factor of overseas cost.But I still have to say that it is the cost that decides the importance of the existance of overseas department.Because some party will give up for the high cost,then you will have the advantage.Don’t you think so?There is a saying says Nothing ventured, nothing gained.It is the competing that we receive the power to grow and enlarge.
     These opinions are my own doubts about the conclution the writer has made. Actully,I think we should consider more than one aspect.

robertxjUID: 2645881

We have received three reasons to accept the writer’s opinion that covers with international news drop the selling and it should be diminished.These reasons seem powerful to support the idea,but it seems not when I have it thought over.There are the reasons why I say that.第一段觉得展开的不太充分吧，可以作者的reasons在这里用自己的话进行下概述。
      Firstly, writer links selling condition with covers of international news.I think cover only covers a part in people’s chioce.Actually, we all know that you will support a magazine mostly related to its quality, because good quality is the basic guarantee to remain the consuming group. I do not deny the importance of an attracting cover,but I think a good cover can only provide once purchase beccause it  originates 这里不是被动吧from impulse.
      Secondly,writer talks about the situation about the competing ones.Their decreasing in the choosing material based on international news has provided a good profe名词.But I have to ask two questions.One is what is the situation like before their declining.Is it really uncompareable to the changed ones?？没读懂。。。It may be not.The other is that how many of the contents have changed along with the changing of cover.As I have said above,it is most likely the changing of content that improves the sellings.这段这种两个问题的方式我觉得挺好，挺有说服力。
      Thirdly,writer thinks the overseas cost is increasing,and that accouts for the declining.I agree with the increasing factor of overseas cost.But I still have to say that it is the cost that decides the importance of the existance of overseas department.Because some party will give up for the high cost,then you will have the advantage.Don’t you think so?There is a saying says Nothing ventured, nothing gained.It is the competing??这个词用的我没看懂 that we receive the power to grow and enlarge.
     These opinions are my own doubts about the conclusion the writer has made. Actually,I think we should consider more than one aspect.这个总结太过简单了，没有内容，要呼应前文

112810asUID: 2646494

We have received three reasons to accept the writer’s opinion that covers with international news drop the selling and it should be diminished.These reasons seem powerful to support the idea,but it seems not when I have it thought over.There are the reasons why I say that.(是不是把你下面要说的错误列出来？明了)
      Firstly, writer links selling condition with covers of international news.I think cover only covers a part in people’s chioce.Actually, we all know that you will support a magazine mostly related to its quality, because good quality is the basic guarantee to remain the consuming group. I do not deny the importance of an attracting cover,but I think a good cover can only provide once purchase beccause it is originated from impulse.（你想说明什么？而且你得语气太绝对化）
      Secondly,writer talks about the situation about the competing ones.Their decreasing in the choosing material based on international news has provided a good prove.But I have to ask two questions.One is what is the situation like before their declining.Is it really uncompareable to the changed ones?It may be not.The other is that how much of the contents have changed along with the changing of cover.As I have said above,it is most likely the changing of content that improves the sellings.（论据还行，但是句型是不是不够拽？）
      Thirdly,writer thinks the overseas cost is increasing,and that accouts for the declining.I agree with the increasing factor of overseas cost.But I still have to say that it is the cost that decides the importance of the existance of overseas department.Because some party will give up for the high cost,then you will have the advantage.Don’t you（这个是不是不应有呀，你反问谁呢？） think so?There is a saying says Nothing ventured, nothing gained.It is the competing that we receive the power to grow and enlarge.
     These opinions are my own doubts about the conclution the writer has made. Actully,I think we should consider more than one aspect.你得结尾，很不好，非常不好

我觉得你每一段开头都应该是总结段，我看的别人的经验以及资料都说应该观点明确，中心突出，你应该把每一段总结放在第一句，更明确。