0910AW SPECTACULAR之【同主题写作】第三期ARGUMENT242 by 【galloper】B07.FarseeR

ystyleUID: 2454212

TOPIC: ARGUMENT242 - The following appearedas an editorial in the student newspaper of Groveton College.

WORDS: 482
TIME: 00:48:17
DATE: 2009/6/11 10:08:53

The speaker alleges that to combat the increasing number in cheating among college and university students, we should setup up an honor codes system which is similar to Groveton's. To support this assertion, the speaker points out that we ought to get the students themselves in charge in supervising others and notify a faculty member if they suspect someone. The author also cites a statistical data that by the help of the honor codes, the cases of cheating in Groveton had been decreased from an average of thirty cases per year to fourteen after five years carried out the honor codes.However, lacking more specific information about the details on the honor codes, it is hardly to draw any conclusion and lead the argument unwarranted.

First of all, the argument holds the assumption that it will be more effective when the students, not the teachers,take charge of detecting cheating cases in the examination. On the one hand, we need more evidence to persuade us to believe that the students themselves will undoubtedly to keep their promise and be honestly enough to tell the truth to teachers when they find any of their classmates cheating; on the other hand, the author ignores the possibility that during any examination, all the students will concentrate on the paper and try to perform the best in order to achieve a high score. Do they still have any spare time to monitor any other's condition in such a tension time? Absolutely not. Accordingly, this assumption is simply an unproven claim.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that all the decreasing of cheating cases are the result from the honor codes, which is un convincing either. There are many factors that could serve to this consequence. For example, maybe the paper in the examination becomes easier than before during the past years or maybe the students in Groveton College works harder and harder and so forth. Given these possible scenarios, the fact that the dropping rates of cheating cases in Groveton cannot attribute to the honor codes totally unless the author offers more specific information to support the point.

Finally, the argument simply equates the Groveton’s situation with any other colleges and universities, which is unwarranted. The speaker fails to take into account the differences between colleges.Considering the circumstance of the university, faculty members should publish the policy which is suitable to them specifically. Other college's policy, like the honor codes, perhaps not fit or even has conflicts with their own institution. Comprehensive and deep analysis is necessary to identify the fundamental solution of preventing the cheating cases among students.

To sum up, the evidence states in the argument is insufficient and unreliable. To have a better access and understanding of the cheating cases among students, the author should rule out all the other possibilities that will result to the same consequence and then,to draw an authentic judgment.

AlinckaUID: 2600727

The speaker alleges that to combat the increasing number in cheating among college and university students, we should setup up an honor codes system which is similar to Groveton's. To support this assertion, the speaker points out that we ought to get the students themselves in charge in supervising others and notify a faculty member if they suspect someone. The author also cites a statistical data that by the help of the honor codes, the cases of cheating in Groveton had been decreased from an average of thirty cases per year to fourteen after five years carried out the honor codes.However, lacking more specific information about the details on the honor codes, it is hardly to draw any （加persuasive）conclusion and lead the argument unwarranted.

First of all, the argument holds the assumption that it will be more effective when the students, not the teachers,take charge of detecting cheating cases in the examination. On the one hand, we need more evidence to persuade us to believe that the students themselves will undoubtedly to keep their promise and be honestly enough to tell the truth to teachers when they find any of their classmates cheating; on the other hand, the author ignores the possibility that during any examination, all the students will concentrate on the paper and try to perform the best in order to achieve a high score. Do they still have any spare time to monitor any other's condition in such a tension time? Absolutely not. Accordingly, this assumption is simply an unproven claim.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that all the decreasing of cheating cases are the result from the honor codes, which is un convincing either. There are many factors that could serve to this consequence. For example, maybe the paper in the examination becomes easier than before during the past years or maybe the students in Groveton College works harder and harder and so forth. Given these possible scenarios, the fact that the dropping rates of cheating cases in Groveton cannot attribute to the honor codes totally unless the author offers more specific information to support the point.

Finally, the argument simply equates the Groveton’s situation with any other colleges and universities, which is unwarranted. The speaker fails to take into account the differences between colleges.Considering the circumstance of the university, faculty members should publish the policy which is suitable to them specifically. Other college's policy, like the honor codes, perhaps not fit or even has conflicts with their own institution. Comprehensive and deep analysis is necessary to identify the fundamental solution of preventing the cheating cases among students.

To sum up, the evidence states in the argument is insufficient and unreliable. To have a better access and understanding of the cheating cases among students, the author should rule out all the other possibilities that will result to the same consequence and then,to draw an authentic judgment.


小结：除了最后一点有点单薄和仓促以外 是一篇很好的Argument 基本上我都挑不出错误 逻辑和结构都很清楚  如果能够在注意一下多用用副词修饰形容词 还有句式语言上的美化就更好了！

pengzhu405UID: 2580434

A19 修改 ARGUMENT242 by 【galloper】B07.FarseeR

The speaker alleges that to combat the increasing number in cheating among college and university students, we should setup up an honor codes system which is similar to Groveton's. To support this assertion, the speaker points out that we ought to get the students themselves in charge in supervising others and notify a faculty member if they suspect someone. The author also cites a statistical data that by the help of the honor codes, the cases of cheating in Groveton had been decreased from an average of thirty cases per year to fourteen after five years carried out the honor codes. However, lacking more specific information about the details on the honor codes, it is hardly to draw any conclusion and（这里省略的主语应该是it，不过是不是跟前句意义不一致） lead the argument unwarranted.

First of all, the argument holds the assumption that it will be more effective when the students, not the teachers,take charge of detecting cheating cases in the examination. On the one hand, we need more evidence to persuade us to believe that the students themselves will undoubtedly to keep their promise and be honestly enough to tell the truth to teachers when they find any of their classmates cheating; on the other hand, the author ignores the possibility that during any examination, all the students will concentrate on the paper and try to perform the best in order to achieve a high score. Do they still have any spare time to monitor any other's condition in such a tension time? Absolutely not. Accordingly, this assumption is simply an unproven claim.（这段写得非常好，理由充分，切中要害，佩服佩服。。。）

Secondly, the arguer assumes that all the decreasing of cheating cases（in G，这样更准确） are（were） the result from the honor codes, which is un convincing either. There are many factors that could serve to this consequence. For example, maybe the paper in the examination becomes easier than before during the past years or maybe the students in Groveton College works harder and harder and so forth. Given these possible scenarios, the fact that the dropping rates of cheating cases in Groveton cannot attribute to the honor codes totally unless the author offers more specific information to support the point.

Finally, the argument simply equates the Groveton’s situation with any other colleges and universities, which is unwarranted. The speaker fails to take into account the differences between colleges.Considering the circumstance of the university, faculty members should publish the policy which is suitable to them specifically. Other college's policy, like the honor codes, perhaps not fit or even has conflicts with their own institution.（这3句话说的是一个意思，个人认为可以具体举出一些可能导致这个制度不能适用其他学校的解释） Comprehensive and deep analysis is necessary to identify the fundamental solution of preventing the cheating cases among students.

To sum up, the evidence states in the argument is insufficient and unreliable. To have a better access and understanding of the cheating cases among students, the author should rule out all the other possibilities that will result to the same consequence and then,to draw an authentic judgment.
总结：逻辑清晰，重点突出，写得非常好啊。有一些语法小错，稍微注意下就可以避免了。

susanbai0330UID: 2442910

The speaker alleges that to combat the increasing number in cheating among college and university students, we should setup up an honor codes system which is similar to Groveton's（这个好像应该加上 college）. To support this assertion, the speaker points out that we ought to get the students themselves in charge in supervising others and notify a faculty member if they suspect someone. The author also cites a statistical data that by the help of the honor codes, the cases of cheating in Groveton had been decreased from an average of thirty cases per year to fourteen after five years carried out the honor codes.However, lacking more specific information about the details on the honor codes, it is hardly to draw any conclusion and lead the argument unwarranted.

First of all, the argument holds the assumption that it will be more effective when the students, not the teachers,take charge of detecting cheating cases in the examination. On the one hand, we （主语好像有些问题吧）need more evidence to persuade us to believe that the students themselves will undoubtedly to （去掉？）keep their promise and be honestly enough to tell the truth to teachers when they find any of their classmates cheating; on the other hand, the author ignores the possibility that during any examination, all the students will concentrate on the paper and try to perform the best in order to achieve a high score. Do they still have any spare time to monitor any other's condition（用这个词好像不恰当吧） in such a tension time? Absolutely not. Accordingly, this assumption is simply an unproven claim.

Secondly, the arguer assumes that all the decreasing of cheating cases are the result from the honor codes, which is un convincing either. There are many factors that could serve to this consequence. For example, maybe the paper in the examination（？直接用 examination 呢？）becomes easier than before during the past years or maybe the students in Groveton College works harder and harder and so forth. Given these possible scenarios, the fact that the dropping rates of cheating cases in Groveton cannot attribute to the honor codes totally unless the author offers more specific information to support the point.

Finally, the argument simply equates the Groveton’s situation with any other colleges and universities, which is unwarranted. The speaker fails to take into account the differences between colleges.Considering the circumstance of the university, faculty members should publish the policy which is suitable to them specifically. Other college's policy, like the honor codes, perhaps not fit or even has conflicts with their own institution. Comprehensive and deep analysis is necessary to identify the fundamental solution of preventing the cheating cases among students. （觉得应该说得在具体点，哪里不适合）

To sum up, the evidence states in the argument is insufficient and unreliable. To have a better access and understanding of the cheating cases among students, the author should rule out all the other possibilities that will result to the same consequence and then,to draw an authentic judgment.


第一次改作文，意见仅供参考。。

总结：语言很连贯，语法错误不多。
         切入点很好，最好再列举一下题目的数字反驳，会更加形象