argument56=so what=第四次作业 by gaby

gabywUID: 2633725

TOPIC: ARGUMENT65 - The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.

"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."

1.domestic and imported 在我们的连锁超市中有 wide varity , just last year, 新商店卖的最好的五种奶酪都是国内wisconsin, 仅通过去年并不能说明国内品牌的奶酪很受欢迎，而进口奶酪不受欢迎，perhaps,  new store just is located in Wisconsin, 因此具有消费者具有地方保护意识的品牌优势。
2.调查表明消费者对国产奶酪的偏好在增加，但是增加的幅度和比例是多少呢， 消费者对国产奶酪和进口奶酪偏好百分比
如果原本80%的消费者喜欢进口奶酪，20%的消费者喜欢国产奶酪，如果喜欢国产奶酪的百分比增加， 如果增加的比例很小，那么对进口奶酪的营销很小，
由此，这个调查不完全，缺乏数据支持。
3.通过以上两点，我们不能轻易的discontinue stocking imported cheese

gabywUID: 2633725

This argument‘s conclusion is that their store should to reduce the stoke of imported cheese and concentrate mainly on domestic cheeses. To justify this conclusion the argument points out that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest stores were all domestic cheeses. Also, the argument point out that a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. The argument is unilateral and unpersuasive, as is thought that there are several explanations for this.

To begin with, a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses had been stoked for many years, which indicated the demand and preference of cheese were stable regardless of place of production. Although the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all from Wisconsin, it can not show that domestic cheeses were much popular than that of imported cheeses. Perhaps, those newest stores were all located in Wisconsin, which might be a big place of production where produced a large mount of cheeses. If in that case, government would give more favorable policies such as decreasing taxes and strong promoting for protecting local business, which definitely can reduce the cost, undoubtedly, the domestic cheese had a priority on price advantage, consumers would buy domestic cheeses for protecting local brand and saving money. Moreover, last year is just a year that can not reflect the stable level of preference. It not only can not deny that the situation will be changed in the following years, but is thoughtlessly to decide to discontinue stroking of imported cheeses.

What’s more, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine is totally lack of supporting, particularly in detailed statistic data. For example, although the preference of domestic cheeses is increasing, how much did it increased, how much was it. Probably, the actual level of domestic cheese consumption might nevertheless be very low, and the percentage of preference of imported cheese is much higher than that of domestic cheese.

Finally, the reducing expense by limiting inventory does not mean that it can increase profits. If the profit bought form imported cheese was much more than the expense by limiting inventory and its cost, obviously, there was no meaning to do extra measures. Furthermore, not only is not discontinuing stocking many of varieties of imported cheese the only approach to improve profits, but not the best.


In conclusion, the president has not convinced me that the best way to improve profits of their stores by virtue of the reasons of best-selling cheese in Wisconsin and increased preference originating from domestic. To strengthen it the president should provide the detailed information concern consumption in recent years, as well as the direct reason that resulted in the increasing consumption of domestic cheese in Wisconsin.

fengrui129UID: 2639927

This argument‘s conclusion is that their store should to reduce the stoke of imported cheese and concentrate mainly on domestic cheeses. To justify this conclusion the argument points out that the five best-selling cheeses at their newest stores were all domestic cheeses. Also, the argument point(s) out that a survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. The argument is unilateral (单方面的，学会了，呵呵)and unpersuasive, as is thought that there are several explanations for this.

To begin with, a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses had been stoked for many years, which indicated the demand and preference of cheese were stable regardless of place of production. Although the five best-selling cheeses at their newest store were all from Wisconsin, it can not show that domestic cheeses were much popular than that of imported cheeses. Perhaps, those newest stores were all located in Wisconsin, which might be a big place of production where produced a large mount of cheeses. If in that case, government would give more favorable policies such as decreasing taxes and strong promoting for protecting local business, which definitely can reduce the cost, undoubtedly, the domestic cheese had a priority on price advantage, consumers would buy domestic cheeses for protecting local brand and saving money. Moreover, last year is just a year that can not reflect the stable level of preference. It not only can not deny that the situation will be changed in the following years,（不可置否的形势在未来的几年里将会发生变化。There is no denying that ··） but is thoughtlessly to decide to discontinue stroking of imported cheeses.  (你这里使用的的not only, but also 是什么意思呢？ )
What’s more, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine is totally lack of supporting（去掉ing,support可以作名词,supporting是形容词）, particularly in detailed statistic data. For example, although the preference of domestic cheeses is increasing, how much did it increased, how much was it. Probably, the actual level of domestic cheese consumption might nevertheless be very low, and the percentage of preference of imported cheese is much higher than that of domestic cheese. （感觉有点不完整。可以继续拓展下。 Under such circumstances, the domestic cheese consumption remains insignificant compared with its counterpart. Thus, this survey is dubious and unacceptable.）

Finally, the reducing expense by limiting inventory does not mean that it can increase profits. If the profit bought form imported cheese was much more than the expense by limiting inventory and its cost, obviously, there was no meaning to do extra measures. Furthermore, not only is not discontinuing stocking many of varieties of imported cheese the only approach to improve profits, but not the best.(语法有问题,没看懂not discontinuing stocking many of varieties of imported cheese is one of the approachs to improve profits,   color]
利润问题，不能单一限制进口，要是进口的利润大于成本，就没有意义去限制。第二层是说不停止供应外来货可能也是盈利的

In conclusion, the president has not convinced me that the best way to improve profits of their stores by virtue of the reasons of best-selling cheese in Wisconsin and increased preference originating from domestic. To strengthen it the president should provide the detailed information concern（s） (个人觉得这里用about比较稳妥，concern做有关意思的时候，更多的是与人啊，还有一些problem一起搭配）consumption in recent years, as well as the direct reason that resulted in the increasing consumption of domestic cheese in Wisconsin.

总体还是不错的，结构明晰。
首段指出存在问题，准备发起攻击。
中间段逐一分析各项问题，  但你似乎漏了些问题：例如题目 The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States.
  指出了throughout the United States，但 后文 cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin。典型的以大推小的错误。 这类错误有点隐蔽

调查错误，我觉得这里不仅是没给数据（数字和比例），最重要的是调查对象，文中明确提到了its subscribers, 就是很明显的攻击点了

结尾是总结问题，提出建议。

gabywUID: 2633725

by：fengrui！！！

In this memo, the editor recommends that the best way to improve profits is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheeses. To substantiate the recommendation, the author points out the situation that the five best-selling cheeses were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. The author even cited a survey indicating an increasing preference for domestic cheeses. Yet close scrutiny reveals that neither of them lends credible support to this recommendation.

First of all, domestic cheddar cheeses were the five best-selling cheeses at newest store does not necessarily imply that domestic cheeses are popular. Perhaps only cheddar cheeses were welcomed among people, despite the fact that other domestic bands of cheeses were ignored by customers. Moreover, the statement overlooks the possibilities that domestic cheeses only win popularity in a certain area as the local people enjoy the flavor while the residents in other places consider those chesses are terrible and therefore avoid purchase them. Without ruling out those possible factors, the author’s assertion that the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin cannot be taken seriously. ( 我有一个疑问，cheddar 好像是奶酪的一个品种，而不是一个品牌吧？)

Secondly, the survey conducted by Cheeses of the World magazine amounts to scant evidence that domestic cheeses are preferable in customers’ eyes, for it offers neither precise increasing numbers of the domestic-cheeses-preference-consumers nor the information about the relative percentage. Thus, this survey is statistically unconvincing.（拿走了！） What is more, the sample of this survey is not representative, as their interviewees’ group is only defined in subscribers of Cheeses of the World magazine (good!). Perhaps most of them are the lovers of domestic chesses and their preference cannot represent the whole group’s preference. For that matter, perhaps some of interviewees give their feedback at random, after all, not all the people are willing give their answers responsibly. If so, the survey is far away from being useful.

Thirdly, even assuming that customers prefer to choose domestic cheese rather than imported cheese, the company would not necessarily be profitable as a result. Profitability is a function of both revenue and expense. Thus, there exists the possibility that more money have been devoted to domestic cheeses in exploring different flavors and training  staff to cater for the consumers. In this sense, domestic cheeses raise costs with relatively stable price and this in turn rendering them unprofitable despite the popularity. On the contrary, imported cheeses may profit large regardless of small customer group.  Without weighing revenue against expense, the author’s assumption is dubious and unwarranted.

Finally, even if the company would turn a profit from domestic cheeses, the writer jumps to the conclusion that the best way to improve profits in all of stores is to discontinue stocking imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses. Yet no evidence is offered to support this crucial assumption. It is entirely possible the consumers stop buying domestic cheeses when they are coerced to get accustomed to only domestic ones. At the same time, perhaps the majority of the patrons of imported cheeses would remain their loyal to their favorite cheese so that they are not willing to try domestic cheeses. Any of these scenarios, if true, the company’s alleged “profit” strategy might proved to be a failure one, let alone being the best way.

In conclusion, the argument is unpersuasive and indefensible as it stands. To bolster it the author must show perhaps by way of reliable survey with more detailed information. The author can also render convincing evidence that the domestic cheeses are really popular among the whole country. To better access this argument, I would need to know the specific cost and revenue estimated for both domestic and imported cheeses.