craking ibt essay写作小组 Judyhe的第十八次作业

judyheUID：2613440

One argument states that higher education should be open to everyone, regardless of background. The opposing argument says that only the elite students should be allowed to proceed. Discuss these ideas. Do you agree or disagree? Explain why.

Higher education should be open to everyone.
1.
It is difficult to draw a line between the elite students and non-elite students.
2.
improve the overall qualification in our society.


Arguments about the targeted group of higher education go on heat. Some people thinks that higher education should only be exacted on “elite students” to show its high standard and value by controlling the number and the qualification of its receivers, and the process of selecting students strictly is necessary to make the outcome and benefits of higher education more satisfying. On the contrary, there are ones who holds that the popularization of higher education is the only way to realize the overall improvement of the society, and it is wiser to open more opportunity for people to get higher education. As far as I am concerned, I am among who support that higher education should be a path that everyone is allowed to take, to pass and finally to arrive at the success.
Firstly, it is hard to draw a line between the elite and the non-elite. For example, students who are excellent at math may not be that good at other subjects, if a school’s entrance examination demands a high total score of all subjects, the school might turn down a student of high talent in logic and reasoning, and a potential expert. There are so many people who are forced to halt studies in the field they are interested in just because of their fallacy in other disciplines. In this sense, it is too absolute and too hard to set a standard to define which kind of students are elite enough to be qualified for higher education.
Secondly, with a larger amount of students from wider entrance into higher education, our society would be prosperous. People would spend more time in books, research, and thinking, would not a society with atmosphere of studying bound to develop? The culture of ancient Greece provides the foundation of Western civilization and shaped cultures throughout Southwest Asia and North Africa, and its powerful influence on politics, language and many other fields derives partly from its openness of education. Nowadays, we should follow those systems which encourage people to study, to learn rather than block the road the people of vision to deepen and to broaden their knowledge.
The wise eye will see other reasons to for the expansion of higher education. By wipe out some unfair and unreliable criteria, by making higher education in the reach of every people who has desire to learn, our society would be in a
process to a bright and promising future.

Chelsea_ChoiUID：2437362

Arguments about the targeted group(目标人群？) of higher education go on heat（我google了一下不知道这是什么，是不是想说hot topic）. Some people thinks that higher education should only be exacted(->awarded to) on “elite students” to show its high standard and value(its是指？怎么会有标准和价值在后面) by controlling the number and the qualification of its receivers(个人感觉太长了，指代就变得不明确了), and the process of selecting students strictly is necessary to make the outcome and benefits of higher education（高等教育的结果和好处？） more satisfying. On the contrary, there are ones who holds that the popularization of higher education is the only way to realize the overall improvement of the society, and it is wiser to open more opportunity for people to get higher education. As far as I am concerned, I am among（those） who support that higher education should be a path that everyone is allowed to take（好多从句啊~~~虽然我知道你在说什么，可是怪怪的~）, to pass and finally to arrive at the success（higher education = success? ）（总体感觉没必要解释为什么有人支持这种，有人支持那种，稍微提下view may different from individual to individual, some…others… and I prefer the former\latter）.

Firstly, it is hard to draw a line between the elite and the non-elite. For example, students who are excellent at math may not be that good at other subjects, if a school’s entrance examination demands a high total score of all subjects, the school might turn down a student of high talent in logic and reasoning, and a potential expert. There are so many people who are forced to halt studies in the field they are interested in just because of their fallacy in other disciplines. In this sense(from that aspect), it is too absolute(太中文啦吧……) and too hard to set a standard to define which kind of students are elite（是个名词->intellectual） enough to be qualified for(a) higher education. (论点清晰，例子支持论点，赞一个o(∩_∩)o…)

Secondly, with a larger amount of students from wider entrance into higher education（这个……->students with their ambitions from different background pursuit a higher education together, which makes our society prosperous）, our society would be prosperous. People would spend more time in books, research, and thinking, (to begin with，这里需要链接，in addition, 和前面的TS有？关系啊？)would not a society with atmosphere of studying bound to develop? （符号？）The culture of ancient Greece provides the foundation of Western civilization and shaped cultures throughout Southwest Asia and North Africa, and its powerful influence on politics, language and many other fields derives partly from its openness of education. （I got it, but the sequence seems a little wired. It should be in that way: the openness in Greek->prosperity of ancient Greek->involve students in variety->development of a country）Nowadays, we should follow those systems(?这个指某种理论体系多些吧) which encourage people to study, to learn rather than block the road the people of vision to deepen and to broaden their knowledge. （好多to哦，其实benefit from……）

The wise eye will see other reasons to for the expansion of higher education（这个……虽然要说自己说的观点就是好……我的就是反面观点o(∩_∩)o…）. By wipe out some unfair and unreliable criteria, by making higher education in the reach of every people who has desire to learn, our society would be in a process to a bright and promising future.（好多by……o(∩_∩)o…像极了看政府报告，通过……通过……我们将怎么怎么好，其实写写每个人都有接受教育的权利，发掘人在某方面的潜能才是教育的目的，精英也是发掘出来的……应该比那个总结强点吧o(∩_∩)o…）

Conclusion:
1. 开头段有点冗余了，加强下，建议看看范文都怎么写
2. 第二段还挺好，有TS有论证，第三段有点乱，建议先写提纲想TS是什么
3. 语言上从句的使用太长，介词短语重复使用的较多，建议从句上精简一下，短语精炼一下
仅供参考o(∩_∩)o…

judyheUID：2613440

谢谢MM