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[a习作temp] 0910G[North America Flying]Argument51 by 421899282 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-21 20:15:47 |显示全部楼层
题目:ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
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In the medical newsletter, the writer suggests all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. And this conclusion is based on doctors' suspect and preliminary results of a study. After concrete analysis, the suggestion turn out to be a hasty generation and unreasonable.

The main evidence the editorial cites is the preliminary of a study, however the study is far from convincing. First as controls, the two groups of people need to be of similar age and health condition, the gender need to be concerned as well. All the above factors could affect the recuperation time and lead the results to not only depending on antibiotics. Second, the sum of the persons who take part in the study is not provided, since we all known that too small group would make the results not persuasive. Besides, the results may also vary along with district which is also beyond informed.

In addition, the other treatments are not proved to remain the same apart from the antibiotics during the progress. What's more, patients may incline to trust a doctor special in sports medicine rather than a general physician, which also results in the difference in recuperation time.

Finally, the suggestion that all patients with muscle strain be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment alone seems not reasonable. As known, the antibiotics are not the magic medicine which eliminates infection any more. More and more professions argue that the antibiotics would cause the weakness of our immune system and induce gene mutation of bacteria and virus. In this case, it's not wise to suggest the patients, who always treat the doctors' advice seriously, to take antibiotics included in the treatment. Furthermore, too much medicine which is not necessary just like the antibiotics in the muscle strain would heaven the load of the people without medical cover.

On balance, the study which serves the main evidence of the conclusion is supposed to rule out the other factors except antibiotics and assure the quantity of the people taking part in before it turned out to be convincing. Also, the final suggestion need to be revision since the use of antibiotics should be careful.
no pains, no gains

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发表于 2009-7-23 11:52:44 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 ystyle 于 2009-7-23 13:30 编辑

In the medicalnewsletter, the writer suggests all patients who are diagnosed withmuscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part oftheir treatment. And this conclusion is based on doctors' suspect andpreliminary results of a study. After concrete analysis, the suggestionturn out to be a hasty generation and unreasonable.

The main evidencethe editorial cites is the preliminary of a study, however the study isfar from convincing. First as controls, the two groups of people needto be of similar age and health condition, the gender need to beconcerned as well. All the above factors could affect the recuperationtime and lead the results to not only depending on antibiotics. Second,the sum of the persons who take part in the study is not provided,since we all known that too small group would make the results notpersuasive. Besides, the results may also vary along with districtwhich is also beyond informed.
(对study进行反驳,实验组的个体差异与基数的问题)


In addition, theother treatments are not proved to remain the same apart from theantibiotics during the progress. What's more, patients may incline totrust a doctor special in sports medicine rather than a generalphysician, which also results in the difference in recuperation time.(这段个人有点灵光一现的感觉,可以再多说点吗,至少可以加一些模板之类~)

Finally, thesuggestion that all patients with muscle strain be well advised to takeantibiotics as part of their treatment alone seems not reasonable. Asknown, the antibiotics are not the magic medicine which eliminatesinfection any more. More and more professions argue that theantibiotics would cause the weakness of our immune system and inducegene mutation of bacteria and virus. In this case, it's not wise tosuggest the patients, who always treat the doctors' advice seriously,to take antibiotics included in the treatment. Furthermore, too muchmedicine which is not necessary just like the antibiotics in the musclestrain would heaven(heaven?天堂?) the load of the people without medical cover.(这句我认为可以删去,在补充几句关于滥用antibiotics的句子,这样更有说服力吧)
(攻击antibiotics)


On balance, thestudy which serves the main evidence of the conclusion is supposed torule out the other factors except antibiotics and assure the quantityof the people taking part in before it turned out to be convincing.Also, the final suggestion need to be revision since the use ofantibiotics should be careful.

我觉得写得还可以。。。认为第三段可以再改改,其他都不错!

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