TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第4次作业 by driftking

DriftKingUID: 2664045

第四次作业：Do you agree or disagree, technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.(08.2.23)

1。表明观点支持科技让生活简单
2。首先，科技当我们更有效率
3。然后，科技让我们不必过分担心外界条件
4。确实可以在某些方面也让我们生活变得有些复杂，但跟他给我们带来的这些好处跟前，简直不值得一提
5。总结，点题
这个题目感觉看似简单，写起来却并不轻松，自我感觉这次作文连自己这关都过不去

Our life have been greatly influenced by the development of technology, some people recognize that the advanced technology make our life more and more simple than ever before while other have the opposite opinion. For me, I definitely agree with the first one.



Fist of all, technology let our life more efficient. For example, electronic mail let us send and receive message almost immediately through computer or cellphone, then we can control when to read them and respond on them. This technology let us live simpler, since we do not need to go to the post office, wait the response a lot of days or even a month while the time is spend on the way. We can also find anybody who have in trouble through the Global Position System which can help us solve the problem more simply and reduce the loss at least, for reasons that we can find them quickly and cure them as soon as possible. those are the efficiency what technology can bring us.



What is more, technology can help us to reduce the influence of the outward. Such as the automobile, we can drive it to anywhere without consider about the weather, we have the body cover to resist the violight and rain, air conditioning in it can give us the comfortable temperature, DVD relieve the pressure of long driving... So we can just take care of when and where we want to go. How simple a life we live now!



Technology also make our life a little complicate. Take computer as an example, we must remember the key in the order of qwerty... Which is oppose to the traditional sequence of abcdef..., we should also learn a lot of knowledge about windows, hardware, software and so on before we could use it. However, these troubles can be neglect when they compare to the advantages which technology take us.



All in all, technology make our life simpler in stead of more complicated than ever before. We can work more efficient and do not need to consider too much of the outside reason such as weather. So we can believe the future is more simpler than present.

出来吧葡萄UID: 2658129

加油

MVTUID: 2588209

回复： 1# DriftKing

第四次作业：Do you agree or disagree, technology make people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.(08.2.23)( R: u! I% s0 x8 m4 Y
: T# W3 K6 B  x1 b( E: I3 K
1。表明观点支持科技让生活简单/ u2 q; N4 C7 X" N5 e3 A; z+ C
2。首先，科技当我们更有效率/ Z$ a- I: p$ U
3。然后，科技让我们不必过分担心外界条件9 [1 _& D4 d9 Q- d* h5 n
4。确实可以在某些方面也让我们生活变得有些复杂，但跟他给我们带来的这些好处跟前，简直不值得一提# H; P0 X* s! v( v; V
5。总结，点题
这个题目感觉看似简单，写起来却并不轻松，自我感觉这次作文连自己这关都过不去
批改说明：
1. 红色: 不太合适的地方；
2. 蓝色: 值得学习的地方；
3. 淡紫: (my comment).

Our life(lives) have been greatly influenced by the development of technology,(Here must end with a period.) some people recognize that the advanced technology make(s) our life(同上) more and more simple(much simpler) than ever before while other(s) have the opposite opinion. For me, I definitely agree with the first one.(首段观点非常明确，值得称赞！)

$ t/ q' I& B! E
Fist of all, technology let(s) our life more efficient. For example, electronic mail let us send and receive message almost immediately through computer or cellphone, then we can control when to read them and respond on(\) them. This technology let(s) us live simpler, since we do not need to go to the post office, wait the response a lot of days or even a month while the time is spend(spent) on the way. We can also find anybody who have(is) in trouble through the Global Position System which can help us solve the problem more simply and reduce the loss at least, for reasons that we can find them quickly and cure them as soon as possible(又是老毛病，句子太长，DK，能用简单句就不要用太多名词性从句). those are the efficiency what(that) technology can bring us.(本段观点:技术使生活效率更高electronic mails, cellphone, GPS都是很好的例子)

What is more, technology can help us to reduce the influence of the outward. Such as the automobile, we can drive it to anywhere without consider(ing) about the weather(呵呵，这个理由挺新鲜，买车是为了避免坏天气的侵扰吗？), we have the body cover to resist the violight(ultraviolet radiation) and rain, air conditioning in it can give us the comfortable temperature, DVD relieve the pressure of long driving... So we can just take care of when and where we want to go. How simple a life we live now!$ (本段理由:消除外界影响.感觉说得不是很让人信服。借你的思想，可以说汽车消除路途遥远的影响，MP4可以消除噪音，聊天室可以消除寂寞etc.)

Technology also make our life a little complicate(d). Take computer as an example, we must remember the key in the order of qwerty... Which is(\) oppose to the traditional sequence of abcdef..., we should also learn a lot of knowledge about windows, hardware, software and so on before we could use it(这个理由就是传说中的"准"又"狠"，赞！). However, these troubles can be neglect(ed) when they compare(are compared) to the advantages which technology take us.(本段做了个小小让步，认为技术也给人们带来了复杂)

All in all, technology make our life simpler in stead of more complicated than ever before. We can work more efficient and do not need to consider too much of the outside reason such as weather(作者的思路很好，但是文中应该对以前，人们是如何被环境所困进行表述，从而反衬你的观点). So we can believe the future is more simpler than present.(结论:技术简化生活，未来更加简化！)
COMMENTS:
1. 第二次改楼主文章，楼主思维很开阔，表述也很亲切，不八股，继续加油！
2. 楼主最大的问题是语法问题，错得比较多，这个一定注意。

DriftKingUID: 2664045

谢谢两位 大师 的评判 看来我的第3段写的也确实有问题 而且语法还需注意 谢谢哈