Argument37 argu的第一篇，请多指教

chenheng0528UID: 2610515

Argument37：
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have
previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric
village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been unique to the
Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a
"Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from
Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans
could only have crossed it by boat, but there is no evidence that the
Paleans had boats. And boats capable of carrying groups of people and
cargo were not developed until thousands of years after the Palean people
disappeared. Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the
river-the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game. It
follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea.
分析：
1、
Brim河深且宽，只能坐船过去。现在的Brim河深且宽，不代表以前的也是这个状况，以许只是一条小溪，人可涉水过。甚至史前根本没有这条河，人可直接走过去。
2、
没有证据表明有船，大船是几千年前才发明的。接上一条，即使Brim河在当时就是深且宽的，需要有工具过河。也不一定是船，且是大船。也许当时有小船或是独木舟，可以载一个人及少量货物（including Palea）过河。Further more,文中没有提Lithos的居民是否有造船技术，他们过河后将P带回来。
3、
Palean没必要过河。说了有……，但史前不一定也有这些。即便有这些，可能还需要其他的，比如铁矿石、盐。即便不需要，也可以因为其他原因需要过河，比如争夺新的领地
4、
因此，现在还没有足够的证据说P不是P地独有的。
正文：
The author attempts to convince us that “the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea”. To support this claim, the author states that the Brim River is deep and broad. He also indicate that there is no evidence that the Paleans had boats. Moreover, he notes that Paleans had no need to cross the river. The notion above seems logical at first glance. However, from my perspective, this argument suffered from several fallacies which can be deeply analyzed as follows.

It is obvious that the Brim River is deep and broad now, however, author did not mention whether the Brim River was like this in prehistoric times. It maybe was ever a brook and ancient Paleans crossed it on foot. Or maybe it even a land, without any water.

Even if it has been proved as a result that the Brim River was deep and broad in the prehistoric times, and instruments were needed for Paleans to cross the river, this is not to say that it must be a big boat.
The arguer commit a fallacy of necessary condition. The author lost sight of the fact that many other instruments such as canoe and wood board can also turn Paleans to the other side of the river. Further more, the arguer did not mention whether the residents in Lithos had the boat. If they had, they can cross the river and bring the Palean basket back by themselves.

The argument finally notes that Paleans had no need to cross river because of sufficient resources around the Palea. I have to say that the author fails to establish the causal relationship between the need to cross river and the resource in this region. There are many other elements to effect the Paleans whether need to cross the river or not . It is possible that Paleans were lack of metal or salt, and they were the special local products of Lithos. Further more, the Paleans maybe only wanted to exploit their region by invading into the Lithose.

In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. The arguer is weak on several grounds. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should provide more convincing evidence about the Paleans can be made in other region and more information about Palean region is a exactly isolated from others. Meanwhile, the author must provide evidence to rule out all the above-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.

nohevenUID: 2447539

Theauthor attempts to convince us that “the so-called Palean baskets were notunique to Palea”. To support this claim, the author states that the Brim Riveris deep and broad. He also indicate that there is no evidence that the Paleanshad boats. Moreover, he notes that Paleans had no need to cross the river. Thenotion above seems logical at first glance. However, from my perspective, thisargument suffered from several fallacies which can be deeply analyzed asfollows. (后面这两三句似乎过于模板了,而且没有真正的信息量.如果能结合题目本身加上一点评论,会显得比较充实有内容.)

It is obvious that the Brim River is deep and broad now, however,author did not mention whether the Brim River was like this (was like this也太中文了吧^_^b)in prehistoric times. Itmaybe was ever a brook and ancient Paleans crossed it on foot. Or maybe it evena land, without any water. (在这些猜测之后可以进一步引申一下它们带来的影响.)

Even if it has been proved as a result that the Brim River was deep andbroad in the prehistoric times, and instruments were needed for Paleans tocross the river, this is not to say that it must be a big boat.
The arguer commit a fallacy of necessary condition. The author lostsight of the fact that many other instruments such as canoe and wood board canalso turn Paleans to the other side of the river. Further more, the arguer didnot mention whether the residents in Lithos had the boat. If they had(had 改成did ), they can cross the riverand bring the Palean basket back by themselves. (建议再引申)

The argument finally notes that Paleans had no need to cross riverbecause of sufficient resources around the Palea. I have to say that the authorfails to establish the causal relationship between the need to cross river andthe resource in this region. There are many other elements to effect thePaleans whether need to cross the river or not . ( 这句显得空洞,建议下面” It is possible that”这句连成一个长句
) It is possible thatPaleans were lack of metal or salt, and they were the special local products ofLithos. Further more, the Paleans maybe only wanted to exploit their region byinvading into the Lithose.
(其实我个人认为题目中一个很严重的漏洞就是仅仅凭一个篮子就下结论,样本太小)
In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. The arguer is weakon several grounds. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should providemore convincing evidence about the Paleans can be made in other region and moreinformation about Palean region is a (a改成an) exactly isolated fromothers. Meanwhile, the author must provide evidence to rule out all theabove-mentioned possibilities that might weaken the argument.


文章的结构完整,字数也够,美中不足是不少句子都缺乏实际的信息量,显得有些空洞.

chenheng0528UID: 2610515

2楼批评的很对。因为完全是套模版，所以内容显得就空洞。不过我的时间来不及了，哎，只能在模版上继续改进了。

谢谢！