0910G[North America Flying] Issue48 by haunteagle

haunteagleUID: 2609432

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."


If we compare the human history to the sky, the leaders will be the shining stars. Alexander the Great, King Arther, Napoleon, these names was shining, is shining and will be shining forever While the public are the black background to foil the stars.

History is produced by human beings, everyone participate in this play. The research of history have dual goals, to know what happened in the past and to give advise of present decisions. I concede common people play a role in the history while the research of the leader is much more important, judging from the goal of history.

The position of the common people should not be overseen. After all, if there is no common people there is no leader. A hero can fulfill nothing if he needs to do everything. A political leader will hardly calculate the revenue. A general seldoms go the frontline. It is the common people that fulfil the history. They are the smallest unit in history. They directly decide the smallers part of history. We know the Japan bombed the Pearl Harbor and the pilot of the bomb-plane perform this task. They are the direct actors. Moreover, leadership is to help the people live a noble and happy life. All famous leaders know it and achieve success by bringing benefits to their people. Abraham Lincoln, liberate the blacks and provide abundant labor to the North. Chirman Mao, liberate the Chinese and point out a way of fast development.

Nevertheless, we research the history to know the past and borrow experience. These tasks decide we should focus on research the leaders. To know the past, the most important point is to answer one questions, why this happened? Socialists tend to have a widely research of the common people in those days and then give the inner reasons. Yet in my opinion, as I discussed above, the leaders represents the benefits of the public. They are typically constituted by people's desires. So it is enough to conclude from the leaders' desire. During the World War II, the German regarded themselves as superior race and kill hundreds of thousands of Jews in the concentration camps. Historians wondered why the German would do this. In the research of Hitler, once a combat hero in the World War I, researchers found that this public mania was most probably resulted by the exploitation after the WWI. Hitler is a typical representative of the Germans, so it is with almost all famous leaders.

In the second task of giving advise to nowadays' development, researching on the leaders is also enough. Few will us has the chance to make big decisions which will affect millions of people. Usually we only need to decide what to eat tonight or where to have a picnic this weekend. Althought the historians tell us that the ancient Romans will travel outside the town to enjoy hunting. I think this fact has nothing to do with most of us. Generally, only the political leaders have the require of knowing the ancient decisions. Were Washington in my position, would he do this? If Alexander the Great were here, what would he do? The ancient decisions help the present leaders to balance cost and profit and make wise decisions. In this period, the public can be symbolized to some factors in the formula. Their function can simply be summarized by facilitating of retarding and then put into the formula of the leaders.

In conclusion, history is produced directly by the public who have long been forgotten. However, the the two requirement of history decide that we cannot and need not pay much attention on the public, for leaders will represent their need. Moreover, the public do not need the ancient experience to make decisions and then there is no reqirement for research on that field.

hugeseaUID: 190158

1# haunteagle
TOPIC:ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals.The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by thefamous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long beenforgotten."


If we compare thehuman history to the sky, the leaders will be theshining stars.(the leaders是人，the shining stars是物，how can "the leaderswill be the stars"?人不可能是物的吧）Alexander the Great, King Arther,Napoleon, these names was shining, is shining and willbe shining(注意时态，用进行时态的话，难道是说只有在过去某个时刻，现在某个时刻，将来某个时刻才shine？而且还要注意单复数一至) foreverWhile the public are the black background to foil the stars.
(想用比喻来引出观点是好的，但是比喻要恰当；你的这个比喻，我肯定老外读起来会很confused；而且你的开头段没有回应题目，给出你自己的观点，这个我觉得很失败）


History is producedby human beings, everyone participate in this(which?) play. The researchof history have(has) dual goals, to know what happened in the past and to giveadvise(not n.)ofpresent decisions.（还是用这样的句式吧：Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart'sdesire; the other is to get it.）
Iconcede common people play a role in the history while the research of theleader is much more important(not prove), judging from the goal of history.
(这段完全不知所云，没有主题句，3个句子见我也一点逻辑联系都看不出来......很汗！难道这里才是开头段，这里不是body段？)

The position of thecommon people should not be overseen. After all, if there is no common peoplethere is no leader. A hero can fulfill nothing if heneeds to do everything. A political leader will hardly calculate the revenue. Ageneral seldoms(seldom) go the frontline. (这几句根本就与你前面的句子没关系啊，你要论证的是no common people there is no leader,而不是the leaders不用做这个，不用做那个啊)
It is the common people that(who) fulfil the history. They are the smallest unitin history. They directly decide the smallers(?) part of history. We knowthe Japan bombed the Pearl Harbor and the pilot of the bomb-plane perform thistask. (最好还是举积极的正面的例子)Theyare the direct actors. Moreover(表递进), leadershipis to help the people live a noble and happy life. All famous leaders know it andachieve success by bringing benefits to their people. Abraham Lincoln, liberatethe blacks and provide abundant labor to the North. Chirman(chairman) Mao, liberate theChinese and point out a way of fast development.(但是递进过来的句子的意思确实与前面相反的；我想还是用转折吧，However；而且我觉得两层意思最好分两段来写)
(看完很confused，两层意思揉在一段里面；而且论证很不充分深刻)

Nevertheless, weresearch the history to know the past and borrow experience. These tasks decidewe should focus on research the leaders. To know the past, the most importantpoint is to answer one questions(question),(：or —或许会好点)why this(what?) happened?Socialists tend to have a widely research of(on) the common people in those days and then give theinner reasons. Yet in my opinion, as I discussed above,the leaders represents the benefits of the public(依然是人不能是也不能代表物). They aretypically constituted by people's desires.(人可以由愿望组成麽？)Soit is enough (reallyenough?) to conclude from the leaders' desire(whatdo you conclude from the leaders' desire?). Duringthe World War II, the German regarded themselves as superior race and killhundreds of thousands of Jews in the
(Nazi ) concentration camps.
Historians wondered whythe
German would do(did会不会好点?)this.
In the research ofHitler, once a combat hero in the World War I, researchers found that thispublic mania was most probably resulted by(result通常接的两个介词是：from或in,按你的意思这里似乎应该用from)
the exploitation after the WWI(why?). Hitler is a typicalrepresentative of the Germans, so it is with almost all famous leaders. (还是建议用正面的例子，the leaders orthe heroes是时代，事件代表的例子很多)
(论证依然无力)

In thesecond task of giving advise(not n.) to nowadays' development, researching on the leaders is alsoenough(not prove).Few will(will?   confused) us has the chance to make big decisions which willaffect millions of people. Usually we only need to decide what to eat tonightor where to have a picnic this weekend. Althought(Although) the historians tell us that the ancientRomans will travel outside the town to enjoy hunting. I think this fact hasnothing to do with most of us. Generally, only the politicalleaders have the require(requirement?) of knowing the ancient decisions(make no sense). Were Washington in my position, would he do this? (看不懂这个虚拟语气)If Alexander the Great were here, whatwould he do? The ancient decisions help the present leaders to balance cost andprofit and make wise decisions. In this(which?) period, the public can be symbolized to somefactors in the formula. Their function can simply be summarized by facilitatingof retarding and then put into the formula of the leaders.

(你这段是想说，领导人物决定历史事件的发生发展，因此研究他们就够了；研究领导人的经历经验，就了以古鉴今麽？但你写的怎么好像是只要领导人研究历史就可以了？)
In conclusion, history is produced directly by the public(not prove) who have long been forgotten. However, the
(the) two requirements of history decide that we cannot and need not paymuch attention on the public, for leaders willrepresent their needs(人只能代表人啊).Moreover, the public do not need the ancientexperience to make decisions(really??)and then there is no reqirement(requirement)for research on that field.
看完这篇除了confused还是confused.....
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下面是我把你的文章给一个在美国的同学看了给的comments：
1. Am I a star, ora black sky? Funny comparison! Im sure American will be confused!
This is realimportant to remember the readers are not Chinese and they don't have
Chinese background!
2. This guy hasgood ideas, but he is not good at thinking about the readers. I read only

the beginning, and have to use my Chinesethinking to understand it.
3. Sorry to saythat. His English has problems(呵呵：)我也很sorry他这么说)

hugeseaUID: 190158

2# hugesea
哇，怎么搞的啊，我在Word里面编辑好了的啊
怎么到了这里就全部变了？颜色全部变了......

算了，也不改了，只要能看懂吧

fake2009UID: 2631119

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."


If we compare the human history to the sky, the leaders will be the shining stars. Alexander the Great, King Arther, Napoleon, these names was shining, is shining and will be shining forever While the public are the black background to foil the stars. 【shining opening!】

History is produced by human beings, everyone participate in this play. The research of history have dual goals, to know what happened in the past and to give advise of present decisions. I concede common people play a role in the history while the research of the leader is much more important, judging from the goal of history. 【actual TS】

The position of the common people should not be overseen. After all, if there is no common people there is no leader. A hero can fulfill nothing if he needs to do everything. A political leader will hardly calculate the revenue. A general seldoms go the frontline. It is the common people that fulfil the history. They are the smallest unit in history. They directly decide the smallers part of history. We know the Japan bombed the Pearl Harbor and the pilot of the bomb-plane perform this task. They are the direct actors. Moreover, leadership is to help the people live a noble and happy life. All famous leaders know it and achieve success by bringing benefits to their people. Abraham Lincoln, liberate the blacks and provide abundant labor to the North. Chirman Mao, liberate the Chinese and point out a way of fast development.【2个小点，肯定common people的同时，也肯定leadership的意义】

Nevertheless, we research the history to know the past and borrow experience. 【nevertheless后的句子与上文的转折意义倒是不那么强烈】These tasks decide we should focus on research the leaders【把这个放段首开诚布公地来讲更好，毕竟那个nevertheless用的不好】. To know the past, the most important point is to answer one questions, why this happened? Socialists tend to have a widely research of the common people in those days and then give the inner reasons. Yet in my opinion, as I discussed above, the leaders represents the benefits of the public. They are typically constituted by people's desires. So it is enough to conclude from the leaders' desire. During the World War II, the German regarded themselves as superior race and kill hundreds of thousands of Jews in the concentration camps. Historians wondered why the German would do this. In the research of Hitler, once a combat hero in the World War I, researchers found that this public mania was most probably resulted by the exploitation after the WWI. Hitler is a typical representative of the Germans, so it is with almost all famous leaders.

In the second task of giving advise to nowadays' development, researching on the leaders is also enough. 【语义跟上一段有一点交集】Few will us has the chance to make big decisions which will affect millions of people. Usually we only need to decide what to eat tonight or where to have a picnic this weekend. Althought the historians tell us that the ancient Romans will travel outside the town to enjoy hunting. I think this fact has nothing to do with most of us. Generally, only the political leaders have the require of knowing the ancient decisions. Were Washington in my position, would he do this? If Alexander the Great were here, what would he do? The ancient decisions help the present leaders to balance cost and profit and make wise decisions.【这段大多讲这个意思吧，把branch TS再具体些，总重复enough，不如把为什么enough写在段首，再详细论证。把main TS 与branch TS的关系体现出来就更完美了。】In this period, the public can be symbolized to some factors in the formula. Their function can simply be summarized by facilitating of retarding and then put into the formula of the leaders.

In conclusion, history is produced directly by the public who have long been forgotten. However, the the two requirement of history decide that we cannot and need not pay much attention on the public, for leaders will represent their need. Moreover, the public do not need the ancient experience to make decisions and then there is no reqirement for research on that field.

新式的开头，我倒是觉得挺好，一点都不会影响文章的整体性，很文学。
倒数第二段，我知道大概讲什么，个别句子比较confusing，尤其是formula那几句，你可以表述得再清楚些。