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[同主题写作] 0910AW SPECTACULAR之【同主题写作】第十三期 Argument7 Concerning Politics [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-27 23:28:18 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 ddcmj519 于 2009-7-30 17:13 编辑

写在前面:有的人信上帝,有的人信菩萨。但是在面对一项考试的时候,除了Higher Power,我们还应该信什么?前人提纲?XDF?…… 其实说穿了。他们也都是凭着自己的理解在授人以鱼。那么他们的“渔”是从何而来的呢?OF COURSE FROM ETS. 毕竟,只有这个考试的命题人才最清楚他们的题目是要干什么的。他们在AWintro里面,几乎写尽了这项考试所有要注意的关键。但是在反复强调之下似乎没人注意哇。。于是这篇同主题应运而生,一来是想再次提醒大家awintro真是备考AW的不二法宝,二来,通过这次同主题证明给大家看, awintro的无边威力!!ok,废话不多说,入题入题。

7 The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."


【PART 1  初读题】
这一步是我们对阿狗题目有个初步的拆解,这个工作的目的就是:理解题意简化题目,仅此而已
但对于argument来说,这个连入门都不是


7 The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

some background info.

In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment.
stating about the current status and membership of each candidate
& pointing why this info. matters.

For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses.
past year:
factories*2
pollution level ↑
patients (respiratory illnesses) *1.25

If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."


【PART 2 再读题,审题&分析】
BUT what to do at first?
Answers here: from AWintro



A.
The "Analyze an Argument" task assesses your ability to understand, analyze, and evaluate arguments and to clearly convey your analysis in writing.  The task consists of a brief passage in which the author makes a action or interpretation of events by presenting claims backed by reasons and case for some course of evidence.  Your task is to discuss the logical soundness of the author's case by critically examining the line of reasoning and the use of evidence. This task requires you to read the argument very carefully.  You might want to read it more than once and possibly make brief notes about points you want to develop more fully in your response

B. An important part of performing well on the Argument task is remembering what you are not being asked to do.  You are not being asked to discuss whether the statements in the argument are true or accurate; instead, you are being asked whether conclusions and inferences are validly drawn from the statements.  You are not being asked to agree or disagree with the position stated; instead, you are being asked to comment on the thinking that underlies the position stated.  You are not being asked to express your own views on the subject being discussed (as you were in the Issue task); instead, you are being asked to evaluate the logical soundness of an argument of another writer and, in doing so, to demonstrate the critical thinking, perceptive reading, and analytical writing skills that university faculty consider important for success in graduate school.

C. "Analyze an Argument" is primarily a critical thinking task requiring a written response.  Consequently, the
analytical skills displayed in your critique carry great weight in determining your score.



以上是对Argument写作提出的基本要求,也就是告诉你Argument都需要你写点儿啥,不需要你乱掺和啥,是个入门。

下面是ETS提醒我们的在对阿狗审题及分析过程中必须要注意的元素,抓住了这些东西,你的阿狗审题就是成功且准确无误的,写出来的东西也是合ETS规矩的,更不用担心什么自己写的东西会跑题(前段还有同学在版面上发此类问题..)。下面将具体展示如何应用AWintro里的其他内容破解题目。

ALSO, GUIDENCE FROM THE INTRO.

A.
In reading the argument, you should pay special attention to

·what is offered as evidence, support, or proof  
·what is explicitly stated, claimed, or concluded  
·what is assumed or supposed, perhaps without justification or proof  
·what is not stated, but necessarily follows from what is stated


B.Although you do not need to know special analytical techniques and terminology, you should be familiar with the directions for the Argument task and with certain key concepts, including the following:

*alternative explanation—a possible competing version of what might have caused the events in question; an alternative explanation undercuts or qualifies the original explanation because it too can account for the observed facts  
*analysis—the process of breaking something (e.g., an argument) down into its component parts in order to understand how they work together to make up the whole; also a presentation, usually in writing, of the results of this process  

*argument—a claim or a set of claims with reasonsand evidence offered as support; a line of
reasoning meant to demonstrate the truth or falsehood of something  

*assumption—a belief, often unstated or unexamined, that someone must hold in order to maintain
a particular position; something that is taken for granted but that must be true in order for the
conclusion to be true  

*conclusion—the end point reached by a line of reasoning, valid if the reasoning is sound; the
resulting assertion  

*counterexample—an example, real or hypothetical, thatrefutes or disproves a statement in the
argument


这里我们先把这几个元素分下类
A argument是对阿狗题目的解释,就是告诉你什么是argument
B 需要你在审题过程中抓住的是:assumption      conclusion
C需要你在分析题目过程中抓住的是:

analysis    alternative explanation    counterexample

OK~下面我们运用上面所提到的东西,进入实战阶段!

【PART 2.1】
part1的基础上,找出assumption&conclusion

7 The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.
some background info.

In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment.
stating about the current status and membership of each candidate
& pointing why this info. matters.

assumption1 Ann Good Earth Coalition中做了很多环保工作(?)
                     2 Ann所作这些环保工作还都做得不错(?)

                     3 环保是我们这个城市面临的最严峻最受关注的问题(?)


通过这个assumption的罗列,你会发现,所谓assumption就是作者在叙述statement的过程中他自己默认的一些东西,注意,这些东西是他自己默认的,没有任何证据证明是事实,需要我们在每个assumption后面打个问号。但是,这个要严格区别于作者所陈述的事实,作者陈述的事实是100%客观的,事实情况正如作者所说,但正是因为作者在推理过程中加入了种种assumption,使得最后的结论是不正确的,各个事实间的联系也是有问题的。下面的assumption,希望大家通过理解什么是作者的assumption 来自己寻找。
P.S.可以将你找到的assumption写在回复里,大家交流讨论,我们斑竹也会给出意见,这是个很好的锻炼自己审题分析题能力的机会。

For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses.
past year:
factories*2
pollution level ↑
patients (respiratory illnesses) *1.25

Assumption:期待你的分析

If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."


Assumption:
期待你的分析
conclusion:
we should elect Ann.


至于conclusion,不一定在所给文章的结尾,很有可能在文章开头或中间

【PART 2.2】
2.1的基础上分析题目思考analysis,找出alternative examplanation,和counterexample

1)这次的analysis我来带大家做,算是给个范例,其实说白了就是画出逻辑链
作者观点&逻辑链分析:
1. Frank: member of city council                            \
                             / factories*2                            \ Frank count for
       city council → {  polution level ↑                       / poor environment
                             \ patients (respiratory) *1.25   /        /
                                                                                 /
2. Ann: member of Good Earth Coalition      ------→     /
                                                                             ↓
In all, environmental society's member would handle those problems

2alternative explanation  & counterexample

首先需要说明的是,什么情况下是让你找这两样东西
在作者开始提供evidence证明结论或推论的时候。(在本题中对应第二部分)
其实ETS已经给我们降低很多难度了,因为根据作者提供的evidence去对其推论或结论证伪有很多方法,其中最简单的就是举出作者所说现象的alternative explanationcounterexample来削弱这个evidence的证明力以达到目的。

找他因和反例相信都是大家比较拿手的了,我只给了evidence中的一个的分析,后面希望大家积极挖掘。

可以帖在回复里,我们一起交流讨论。
但在找他因的时候一定要注意:合理!!!这个是官方说明里明确要求过的。

For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses.
past year:
factories*2
pollution level ↑
patients (respiratory illnesses) *1.25


Alternative explanation:
1 “the number of factories in Clearview has doubled
”-----有可能是因为这个城市某些方面建设的比较好了或者有新的资源和市场使得这个城市本身吸引了business而不是当地政府的问题
2 期待你的分析
3 期待你的分析
4 。。。。。。



【PART 3 总结成文】
ALSO, FROM THE INTRO.

In addition, you should consider the structure of the argument!—the way in which these elements are linked together to form a line of reasoning; that is, you should recognize the separate, sometimes implicit steps in the thinking process and consider whether the movement from each one to the next is logically sound.  In tracing this line, look for transition words and phrases that suggest that the author is attempting to make a logical connection (e.g., however, thus, therefore, evidently, hence, in conclusion).

这里我从书上找了几个版本,可能是大家常用的,但是效果如何呢?
(我仅列出各段的TS,大家仔细揣度每个文章的段落安排差异&效果)

I. FOLLOWING THE WRITING OF AUTHOR
这种可能是用的人比较多的一种写作方式,因为有人说——作者写那个短文就是按照逻辑顺序写的,所以对应的写作顺序攻击当然是没问题的。
1. membership does not represent the point of person.
2. assumes that all the pollution and diseases are results from new factories
3. limited info. anout Ann can not conquer us to vote for her

II. FOLLOWING GUIDINGs FROM SOME BOOKs
这段是我从某本作文参考书上摘录的的攻击顺序。似乎和上面的差不多  : )
1.文章太武断,认为选环境组织成员就能改善环境
2.论断太武断,认为是现政府导致了环境破坏。
3.论断对另一名候选人不公平,以团体代表个人。

III. FOLLOW THE LOGIC CHAIN OF THE AUTHOR
这里我提供我的攻击顺序,当然不一定是最好的,只是为了和以上两种做个对比。其中优劣大家自行定夺~
In my opinion, the author hates the pollution, then concludes it the results of the doubling factories, which was permitted to construct by the city council. And this situation can be solved by a member of environmental society who cares about the environment most.

1. city council did more than permission of factories and factory does not count for pollution level & respiratory patients.
2. even if the city council is guilty, Frank can not be all support to these proposal.
3. even if Frank does not care environment that much, to be a political leader, Ann may not practice that well since a lack of experience.


【PART 4 善后思考】
以下是题库中涉及两个领导人参选的题目,这个地方方便大家,单独提出来。
在大家分别对每个题目有一定了解后,可能会发现,这些题目所涉及的,都是参选所设计不同社会生活方面的内容!
这意味着什么呢?
1方面的原因根本不决定整个选举的情况!!

你还有新的发现吗~?
欢迎回帖讨论~~


29When Ida McAllister ran for mayor of Lake City four years ago, she failed to win even 30 percent of the vote. But since then, McAllister has made public her commitment to environmental causes. She would be wise, therefore, to announce her intention to close all Lake City parks to automobile traffic, thus following the example of the former mayor of Plainsville, Alecia Yu . On the recommendation of a small group of concerned citizens, Mayor Yu prohibited automobile traffic in all Plainsville parks, and therefore was credited with solving the pollution problem and improving the quality of life in Plainsville. This action would have great appeal to the citizens of Lake City, most of whom participate in the community's recycling program, and would guarantee McAllister's success in her current quest to be Lake City's new mayor.


85The following appeared in the letter to an editor of a Myrian newspaper.
"Under Governor Winslow's leadership over the past four years, Myria has enjoyed unprecedented prosperity. Average wage increases this year are higher than they have been at any time since the 1970's, the number of people who report being unemployed has decreased by 10 percent, and construction of new homes is up by one third. In contrast, over the past four years Governor Winslow's opponent, Mr. Homer, has been mayor of a city in which only a small number of new businesses have opened. If Myrians want another four years like the past four years, they should reelect Governor Winslow."



148The following appeared in the editorial section of Monroetown's local newspaper.
"Mayor Brown was recently re-elected by a clear majority of 52 percent of Monroetown's voters. Her re-election, however, does not show that most people in our town favored Mayor Brown's proposal for tax reduction over that of her opponent, Mr. Greene, who proposed raising taxes to improve education. It has been shown that voters nationwide tend to re-elect people already in office, regardless of candidates' proposals. In fact, a local survey after the election showed most people in Monroetown disagreed with Mayor Brown's proposal. Clearly most people in Monroetown favor improving education and therefore approve of Mr. Greene's proposal despite the fact that they did not vote for him."



225The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a local newspaper.
"During her three years in office, Governor Riedeburg has shown herself to be a worthy leader. Since she took office, crime has decreased, the number of jobs created per year has doubled, and the number of people choosing to live in our state has increased. These trends are likely to continue if she is reelected. In addition, Ms. Riedeburg has promised to take steps to keep big companies here, thereby providing jobs for any new residents. Anyone who looks at Ms. Riedeburg's record can tell that she is the best-qualified candidate for governor."




【PART 5 background info.
1.United States and Canada's city council
City councils generally consist of several (usually somewhere between 5 and 50, depending on the city's size) elected aldermen or councillors. Other common titles for members of the council include councilmember or councilman/woman.

In some cities, the mayor is a voting member of the council who serves as chairman; in others, the mayor is the city's independent chief executive (or strong mayor) with veto power over city council legislation. In larger cities the council may elect other executive positions as well, such as a council president and speaker.

The council generally functions as a parliamentary or congressional style legislative body, proposing bills, holding votes, and passing laws to help govern the city.

The role of the mayor in the council varies depending on whether or not the city uses council-manager government or mayor-council government, and by the nature of the statutory authority given to it by state law, city charter, or municipal ordinance.

There is also a mayor pro tem councilmember. In cities where the council elects the mayor for one year at a time, the mayor pro tem is in line to become the mayor in the next year. In cities where the mayor is elected by the city's voters, the mayor pro tem serves simply to serve as acting mayor in the absence of the mayor.

In some cities a different name for the municipal legislature is used. In San Francisco, for example, it is known as the Board of Supervisors because San Francisco is a consolidated city-county and the California constitution requires each county to have a Board of Supervisors.

2.http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/hqpl/2008-05/23/content_6707399.htm
竞选广告的“主旋律”
      尽管每次美国总统大选关注问题有所不同,但有几大问题似乎已经成为主旋律,必然在选战中响起。
      美国从上世纪60年代起民权运动高涨,从此种族问题便成为美国总统竞选的关键词。1968年,乔治·华莱士凭借反对种族隔离制度的口号赢得南部5个黑人选民集中的州;1972年,尼克松的“校车上学”广告也涉及让孩子们不分种族乘坐同一辆校车上学的内容。
      腐败问题也是竞选永恒不变的话题。当年,由于杜鲁门政权丑闻缠身,不打算竞选连任,副总统尼克松接棒竞选,并推出“尼克松谈腐败”的广告,结果被人与之后的“水门事件”联系在一起,反而成为莫大的讽刺。
      战争当然是更大的话题。2008年总统竞选再次证明,美国一旦卷入战争,战争就会卷入竞选。有些人因战争而在政坛风生水起,如身为将军的艾森豪威尔在美国需要一名在军事上经验丰富的领导人来处理朝鲜战争等各种危机时,出现在竞选阵营,其优势不言而喻;尼克松则在1968年利用人们反越战的情绪在民意支持榜上攀升。
      另一些人则是因战争而受到致命攻击。由于伊朗人质事件,美国前总统卡特在1980年竞选时民意支持率直线下降,因此在竞选连任时特意制作广告,强调自己多年军事生涯,但还是抵不住竞争对手里根竞选广告“和平”中批评卡特作为一国元首的“虚弱”。
      历史出奇相似,共和党总统竞选人麦凯恩如今也面临这一境地,他用自己的越战经历和在参议院多年从事国防事务的经验,试图说服选民,他才是能带领国家“带着荣誉离开战场”的领导人。然而,在反战情绪高涨情况下,民主党人奥巴马和希拉里的撤军计划似乎更受欢迎。
      与以上问题相比,更贴近百姓需要的还要属民生问题。相比之下,贫困、就业、税收、福利、能源、医疗和其他社会保障问题方面的政策更能吸引百姓关注。上世纪70年代末,通货膨胀率骤升,成为1980年总统选举的核心问题之一。减税还是增税,往往会成为共和党和民主党的辩论焦点,也会消耗大量竞选广告费用。
     今年的选战,正值美国经济出现衰退之势、百姓在次贷危机和能源危机双重压力下挣扎之时,在民生问题上做文章再合适不过,特别是声称代表蓝领工人利益的希拉里在这方面下了不少功夫。最近她在印第安那州和北卡罗来纳州主打的新一轮广告,就是围绕着在夏天取消燃油税、缓解能源危机压力做文章


【PART 6 How we practice this time?】


凡在此帖参加同主题的版友,习作贴的统一格式为:

0910AW 同主题写作第十三期 ARGUMENT7 by xxx
例如:0910AW 同主题写作第十三期 ARGUMENT7 by ddcmj519

在版面开新帖发完习作之后,来本贴发布一下自己的习作链接。

最好能附上提纲,附上提纲的,我都会对提纲进行一定的点评。

本贴互改顺序为:前一个改后一个(只批改包含作业链接的楼层) 在汇总楼里将进行统计和读错
因此请大家一定不要先占楼再帖链接!

针对于第一个参与的同学没有人改,我将会亲自去改
我还会对本帖第五个习作链接进行修改 如果有19个的话,第19个也改。

其余链接 大家互改

讨论帖,嗯,不固定发帖格式,大家各抒己见即可。:loveliness:

暂定如上


行文仓促。如果我在上述分析中有任何问题,欢迎跟帖讨论。


p.s imagine改zj82119     https://bbs.gter.net/thread-163924-1-1.html

here's the gate to some excellent articles about HOW to write the Argument
https://bbs.gter.net/forum-513-1.html

HOPE IT WILL DO YOU A FAVOUR  :)


另外,大力支持鼎力帮助~~HIAHIA
煽情的内容我就自觉的低调了吧~~~:hug:
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No more words. No more comments.

我想离开。这个浮华的世界。

行走在崩溃的边缘············
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荣誉版主 AW活动特殊奖

沙发
发表于 2009-7-27 23:32:24 |只看该作者
to 酱仔::kiss:
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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主 AW活动特殊奖 AW作文修改奖 IBT Smart

板凳
发表于 2009-7-28 00:14:58 |只看该作者

cmj批改情况

本帖最后由 ddcmj519 于 2009-7-31 07:56 编辑

1.贝拉拉狂想  https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=989241&page=1&extra=  (cmj)
(先认为F是前市长了= =这个比较要命。注意原题:a member of the Clearview town council,
F之前的综合政绩不明 ---  F 环境类的政绩不明    \
                                                                }结论不成立
                 A 环境类执政能力不明&与F对比不明/
这样一来你就忽视了A的综合执政能力。另外city council 与F的关系也么有明朗。
总的来说行文能力可以,但是文中模板化语言有点多。。他因的提出及分析还要加强!

5.wobaobao519  https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=990132&extra= (cmj)
3个example 和环境问题和city council的联系
      让步--> city 不能代表F, 环境组织也不能代表AG的个人观点
            让步-->  F&AG 的行政能力不明,不能由此得出结论
语言能力需要加强!对题目把握基本到位,但详略把握还有所欠缺,主要第一段,把握好主要矛盾而非集中在环境问题上。
对于模板语言理解不够深刻,有用的好的地方也不乏用的不好的~

12楼提纲点评
总的来说和我修改过的第五楼的提纲基本一致。(可以参考我改的东西看一下~~ )
同样从提纲中可以看出来1段可能会写的比较多而攻击重点把握的不是很好。
这样提纲的好处在于自己论述时候的逻辑清晰,但是1.首段容易偏(因为首段的最容易批)2.对比effective writing里面最重大逻辑错误放最前的观点,各有好坏,个中厉害还得自己尝试,找到自己合适的。

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Taurus金牛座 荣誉版主 AW活动特殊奖 AW作文修改奖 IBT Smart

地板
发表于 2009-7-28 00:15:04 |只看该作者

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发表于 2009-7-28 00:15:45 |只看该作者
是我米是我米??哈哈~ 谢谢斑竹操劳~

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthre ... p;page=1&extra=
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ddcmj519 + 5 done~

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talkless, doing more

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荣誉版主 AW活动特殊奖 AW小组活动奖 Cancer巨蟹座 GRE梦想之帆 GRE斩浪之魂 GRE守护之星

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发表于 2009-7-28 16:07:38 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 家家☆yoonjae 于 2009-7-28 22:11 编辑

咳咳,贝拉拉给家家改,HIA HIA~

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=989447&extra=

TO 楼下滴童鞋,already done
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Believe your believes, that's it.

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发表于 2009-7-28 21:06:39 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 swif 于 2009-7-29 19:31 编辑

劳驾了。。

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=989587&extra=

怎么没人了呢?楼下

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发表于 2009-7-30 03:18:01 |只看该作者

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GRE斩浪之魂 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆

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发表于 2009-7-30 09:40:15 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 wobaobao519 于 2009-7-30 10:30 编辑

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=990132&extra=
激动激动ing
写的不好,请多指教

可能存在的aasumption:1.作者认为Green 是来自Good Earth Coalition,所以她的环境保护的意识很好而相比之下, Braun是来自以前执政的council 中的一员, 以前的没有做好保护工作, 所以他也不会。
2.工厂数量的上升, 空气污染都是因为没有以前没有保护环境引起的, 同时呼吸道的感染的人数的增加是因为环境的变坏。
3.选择Green 就一定会解决环境的问题, 选择Braun 环境工作就一定不会做的好。
4.假定对于环境的态度是选举的最重要因素, 人们应该根据这个态度进行选举。
同时上面的123点就是我的提纲~

总的文章的思路:
1.环境的变差  导出 以前的council没有做好工作
2.Brauncouncil的一员


1+2
推出3.Braun 不会做好工作
4.Greengood earth coalition的一员  推出  她会保护环境
3+4
推出结论:选Green 而不选Braun

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发表于 2009-7-30 18:07:42 |只看该作者
不管是gre还是gfw,统统杀无赦!

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GRE梦想之帆

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发表于 2009-7-30 23:26:40 |只看该作者
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Rufusgw + 1 已改

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美版版主 Cancer巨蟹座 荣誉版主 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆 GRE斩浪之魂 GRE守护之星 US Assistant US Applicant

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发表于 2009-7-31 02:27:30 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 AdelineShen 于 2009-7-31 02:35 编辑

辛苦楼上帮忙修改了!感激不尽哈!~
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=990508&extra=

也期待楼主对我的提纲的点评!~^_^

提纲:
1. 作者所给的证明:工厂数量翻倍、空气污染水平上升、去医院看呼吸道疾病的病人数增多并不能说明该镇存在的环境问题,也不能证明Braun和council的member不关心环境问题。新建的工厂可能有环保措施以减轻污染;空气污染水平的上升可能是周围城市的空气质量下降引起的,并不一定是因为Clearview本身存在环境问题;看呼吸道疾病的病人增多可能是因为更多人抽烟而引起的因此这些证据都不能说明该镇存在严重的环境问题,更不能说明Braun和council的member不关心环境问题。
2. 仅仅因为Green是环保组织的一员不能断定Green在环境保护工作中的作用,作者没有给出Green的具体环保经历。
3. 环境问题并不是竞选过程中选民唯一需要考虑的问题,作者没有给出Green在处理其他各种复杂事务方面的能力。
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ddcmj519 + 5 done,提纲结构和5th的很类似,参考我给她改 ...

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GRE梦想之帆 AW小组活动奖

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发表于 2009-7-31 22:29:24 |只看该作者
跟个贴 模考的 写的挺烂 希望板油意见多多
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-990337-1-1.html
See U in pittsburgh!

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发表于 2009-8-1 16:22:23 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 Jeremie 于 2009-8-3 14:10 编辑

欢迎大家点评/谈感想/扔西红柿~
已经改过楼下的了,球拍!

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=990981&extra=
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happy牧羊 + 1 谢谢你啊 ~

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AW作文修改奖

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发表于 2009-8-3 08:39:34 |只看该作者
提纲:
1.        当地是否存在环境污染问题
2.        即便存在环境污染问题,也不一定是council导致的。
3.        即使 council应该对当地的环境负责,也不代表FB也是不环保的!
4.        即使FB不环保,也不能因为A是 good earth coalition的一员,就认为他有出色的环保能力
5.        两个人在环保工作的能力不是投票的充分条件
http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewth ... xtra=#pid1773035849

严重球拍!!!!!!  辛苦了~~~
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Jeremie + 1 改好了~

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RE: 0910AW SPECTACULAR之【同主题写作】第十三期 Argument7 Concerning Politics [修改]
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