TOEFL暑期集结号作文 第7次作业 by 枕头和书

枕头和书UID: 2578813

TOEFL集结号 暑期突破小组 作文第七次作业q  w+ u* v
It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.

提纲：
1，endangered animal宝贵资源，基因库丰富。
2，人与自然相互依赖。
3，人类活动是他们濒危的原因。

Some people believe that the human need should always be the first consideration of current peoples. - O7 j4 m- k2 I7 k: h4 n'However, I tend to believe if we don’t save the endangered animals from the extinction, we will lose more and more precious resources in the not far away future. It is true that we should make our best effect to meet the need of our human kind, but we cannot forget the importance of the interdependence between human and animals. If we take over the land which should belong to the animals, the nature habitat land would no longer exist.

To begin with, the endangered animals are not only some kind of precious creatures, but also some useful resource. The gene pool of our world would be rich if we have many animals in our world. Some endangered animals is a good research samples for anthropologist to find the association about the current animals and ancient animals. For instance, the panda is a kind of animals which we can find the gene characters of ancient animals. So there are lots of useful statistic data we can get form the research of endangered animals. If the endangered animals would extinct one day, we lose the opportunity to find the crucial link between the different animals which can be a excellent proof for evolution.

Also, there are many links between animals and human, the links maybe important for human beings. Take the Nile river as an example, when ancient peoples take the land which always be forest and grassland, the people finally lost their farm fields near the upstream of Nile. Just because the destroy of the habitat lands of animals, we lost our sweet home yet.

Moreover, the endangered place where many animals being are more or less result from the human activities. The pollution of water and air damaged the food chains of the nature world. Consequently, the animals are extincting because of the hunting and killing of human directly or undirectly. Some people even drained a lake for more land for farm working. All this cases is the negative effects of the human activities. Anyway, If we keep going to take the habitat land of animals especially the endangered animals, the human may be the next endangered animal some day..

Amber0926UID: 2555355

Some people believe that the human need（需求？requirement） should always be the first consideration of current peoples. However, I tend to believe if we don’t save the endangered animals from the extinction, we will lose more and more precious resources in the not far away future（不久的将来the near future）. It is true that we should make our best effect to meet the need of our human kind, but we cannot forget（ignore更好些） the importance of the interdependence between human and animals. If we take over这里做“在。。上花费”讲吗？这句读起来感觉逻辑不通，我有点意会，但是我想老外脑子不转圈没我聪明吧:loveliness: the land which should belong to the animals, the nature habitat land would no longer exist.

To begin with, （the 特指一些，并非全部动物，所以改为some）endangered animals are not only some kinds of precious creatures, but also some useful resource. The gene pool of our world would be rich if we have many animals in our world. Some endangered animals is a good research samples for anthropologist to find the association about the current animals and ancient animals. For instance, the panda is a kind of animals which we can find the gene characters of ancient animals. So there are lots of useful statistic data we can get form the research of endangered animals. If the endangered animals would extinct one day, we wiil lose the opportunity to find the crucial link between the different animals which can be a excellent proof for改of evolution.

Also, there are many links between animals and human, the links maybe important for human beings.（两主语两动词在一句中出现run-on sentence！错！） Take the Nile river as an example, when ancient peoples take the land which always be forest and grassland, the people finally lost their farm fields near the upstream of Nile. Just because the destroy of the habitat lands of animals, we lost our sweet home yet.

Moreover, the endangered place where many animals being are more or less result from the human activities. The pollution of water and air damaged the food chains of the nature world. Consequently, the animals are extincting because of the hunting and killing of（改为 that）human directly or undirectly. Some people even drained a lake for more land for farm working. All this cases is the negative effects of the human activities. Anyway, If we keep going to take（改为keep on taking，keep going“继续运转，维持” ）the habitat land of animals especially the endangered animals, the human may be the next endangered animal some day..

MVTUID: 2588209

回复： 1# 枕头和书

It is more important to use land for human need than to save land for endangered animals.
提纲：
1，endangered animal宝贵资源，基因库丰富。
2，人与自然相互依赖。
3，人类活动是他们濒危的原因。
批改说明：
1. 红色: 不太合适的地方；
2. 蓝色: 值得学习的地方；
3. 淡紫: (my comment).

Some people believe that the human need should always be the first consideration of current peoples. However, I tend to believe if we don’t save the endangered animals from the extinction, we will lose more and more precious resources in the not far away future. It is true that we should make our best effect(efforts) to meet the need(s) of our human kind, but we cannot forget the importance of the interdependence between human and animals. If we take over the land which should belong to the animals, the nature habitat land would no longer exist.(陈述观点：要保护濒危物种。但是感觉有点绕弯弯，呵呵)

To begin with, the endangered animals are not only some kind of precious creatures, but also some useful resource. The gene pool of our world would be rich if we have many animals in our world. Some endangered animals is a good research samples for anthropologist to find the association about the current animals and ancient animals. For instance, the panda is a kind of animals which we can find the gene characters of ancient animals. So there are lots of useful statistic data we can get form the research of endangered animals. If the endangered animals would extinct one day, we lose the opportunity to find the crucial link between the different animals which can be a excellent proof for evolution.(濒危物种充当基因库)

Also, there are many links between animals and human, the links maybe important for human beings. Take the Nile river as an example, when ancient peoples take the land which always be forest and grassland, the people finally lost their farm fields near the upstream of Nile. Just because the destroy of the habitat lands of animals(这个原因是不是科学论证过的，我觉得应该再具体化一下), we lost our sweet home yet.(人与动物共生)

Moreover, the endangered place where many animals being are more or less result from the human activities. The pollution of water and air damaged the food chains of the nature world. Consequently, the animals are extincting because of the hunting and killing of human directly(吓人！把of 该成from是不是可以消除这种歧异) or undirectly. Some people even drained a lake for more land for farm working. All this cases is(are) the negative effects of the human activities. Anyway, If we keep going to take the habitat land of animals especially the endangered animals, the human may be the next endangered animal some day.(濒危多少是由人类造成的)
COMMENTS:
文章观点明确、思路清晰，3个分论点都是比较有说服力的，是一篇不错的文章。只是B2部分能够细化一下就更好了。
不知道是不是限时的原因，如果没有一个结论段，会不会影响分数？