【kaleidoscope】小组第一次作业 ISSUE43 by wdassfm

wdassfmUID: 2542447

写的有点多有点杂，还望帮我修改的组员耐心一点哈，O(∩_∩)O~

论点：有效的领导者需要在群体内部maintain standards，在群体间交流的时候求同存异。
提纲：
1、交代人们形成不同群体的过程以及需要领导者来达成的目的—对美好生活的追求
2/3、分别陈述不同范围的maintain standards和求同存异
4、列举种族战争
5、深化讨论领导者的使命是帮助人们最求美好生活，因此两方面都要做好

Seeing though the whole process of history, characters of every age varied, yet people's pursuit for better living condition never stop. During this pursuit, the most effective and speedy way to get closer to this everlasting goal generally reveal itself to people's realization: learn to compromise and cooperation within the group of individuals holding similar value and the outlook of life and world. Therefore, the leaders stand out to record the well-accepted moral and ethical notions as standards to maintain the harmony of groups for every individual's sake. As time goes by, however, limited and different reaches of source pose a new need for the sharing among groups, which requires represents of different groups to communicate. To be effective intermediates, these public leaders have to learn to withhold, if not accepted to others, some moral notions to achieve the final cooperation.

As mentioned above, the basic task as a leader is the undergirding of the group's moral and ethical notion, as far as I am concerned. Although these conceptions are the base upon which those individuals come together, they might not be well conformed to by everybody taking into consideration people' behaviors seldom go with their virtual hopes, thus lies the need for a rational one to maintain standards. Here the prosperity and stability of Victorian Age serves as a persuasive example. Sustained by the queen's solemn attitude towards sexual morality (which is disputably a commonly respected virtue), families at that time were just like small kingdoms where father as the king, mother as the faithful and submissive companion of the husband and children are strictly disciplined. It was just because of the stability of these components that the name Victoria and her age of great achievement are eventually remembered.

However, the mere ability to maintain moral criterions within the group is never sufficient for any leader whose aim is keeping pace with others. An effective leader also play the role as a effective diplomat, who is well qualified to create a fundamental stage, the moral notion, with other leaders for further discussion on, say, common interests, the methods of regulation, and so forth. After all, the individuals of varied groups are brought up in different environment, having their own experiences and no wonder hold firm their own notions for what is right or wrong. To this extent, if the leaders overemphasize on the ethical standard of their own parts without mutual compromise and respect, even a terrible war can possibly be simulated, not to mention an agreement benefiting all participations.

Looking still further, it is not difficult to see a wet interweaved by different nations, regions and races the world present to us. The past have witnessed enough wars and conflicts caused by the unsettlement of different ethnically based groups: From the ancient racial conflicts like the famous Crusade and the destructive Thirty Years' War in Europe, to the summit World War Two, during which the Jews suffer from crucial persecution, to the clashes between Pakistan and Israel, as well as the numerous conflicts predominantly in the communist states after the Cold War, most of which were results from long-time discordances and eventually motivated by the group leaders.

Why the lack of mutual understanding within our human race go so far as to many internecine warfare? Did us forget our primate purpose forming these groups? Whatever the answers are, the leaders must always have in mind their missions, whether maintaining the ethical and moral principles of their own groups or seeking common ground while reserving differences, the essential goal is to properly meeting the demands of every individual and accelerating society's prosperity as a whole. Only in this are they worthy the title of effectiveness.

azoiUID: 2636348

恩我也贴上来吧，按要求蓝色是值得学习的，红色是提出的建议
By Atticus 同组Azoi批改

The speaker's asserts that a public official must require the highest ethical and moral standards to be an effective leader, which I take leave to doubt. Ethical and moral standards are indispensable for an effective leader while the speaker unnecessarily extends them to the highest; on this point I think the speaker’s view is biased, as discussed below.

Admittedly, few people will deny the fact that public officials are required to maintain high ethical and moral standards, and(是否应删去？) without which they are doomed to fail in the long run not only to himself but also to the public. Leaders who are ethical demonstrate a level of integrity that is important for stimulating a sense of leader trustworthiness, which is very important for followers to accept the vision of the leaders. Some of the basic moral standards, such as honesty, loyalty, and selflessness, show great influence to help leaders to win the public（未查到此搭配，建议改为 win public support）, then to smooth the way to carry out relevant policies（两个to连用建议改为for + carrying）. As the first president of America, Washington, who was equipped with high ethical and moral standards, not only established a united state for his nation, but also gained high prestige among his people, and no doubt he was an effective leader. To（on） the contrary, the Nazi leader Hitler, a crazy war fanatic, brought about human disasters and he was destined to fail. In short, high ethical and moral standards make up one of the basic elements of being an effective leader.

However, as far as I concerned, merely highest ethical and moral standards do no（not？） mean an effective leader. It is not only ethical and moral standards, but also brightness, capacity of leadership that makes up an effective leader. We never see one, say a bookworm, who judges only by the moral rules but performs well as an public official（没看懂这句= =！）. As is known to all, society offers a variety stage for all kinds of people, honest and dishonest, ingenuous or guilty, and this is the very reality a public official must face. Obviously, if the leader tries to execute every policy exactly according to moral rules, he will harm the advantage of some people who make their profits by doing some immoral but legal affairs, losing some of the public and making（未查到此搭配，建议改为put或throw + into） him a passive position. An effective leader hands this kind of issues more flexibly than just obeying the moral rules.

In addition, to be an effective leader, one should in first place have his work well done in justice, objective and in a best way, instead of requiring the highest ethical and moral standards. After all, nobody is utterly good or evil and public officials are normal human beings, we should not ask them too much to act perfectly. If a public official can build, maintain and expand the wealth, prosperity and political influence of his nation（这句在网上找到雷同的了，慎用）, even though he gets some scandals, can be regarded as an effective leader. Take two American presidents for example, Nixon and Clinton, the former was related to "Watergate scandal" while the latter involved with sex scandal with Monica Lewinsky, but how can this overshadow the contribution they made to the nation? In most people's opinion, they are still effective leaders.

In conclusion, I think that maintaining the highest ethical and moral rules can not uniquely judge whether a public official is an effective leader, and is not necessary or sufficient quality to make one. In order to perform more effectively, the leader require justice and impersonality, not merely moral rules.

azoiUID: 2636348

ps 建议把这个贴改成第一次作业大贴吧~

wdassfmUID: 2542447

3# azoi

呵呵，不好意思刚刚没有看到，不知道azoi同学是不是没有理解清楚呢，好像这个贴子应该是回在atticuswang的作业上吧~
不过azoi同学都改的这么认真了，真是值得学习啊~

atticuswangUID: 2663189

为什么我一上传文章就说来路不正确？？？

atticuswangUID: 2663189

发不了文章啊，只能灌水……

wdassfmUID: 2542447

6# atticuswang
大哥……我补作业都快挂了你再来这么多水淹我……:sleepy:

atticuswangUID: 2663189

Issue topic no.43

By Azoi

To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

Outline
1. (+) the proper ethical and moral standards is needed for every leader

a. Ethical and moral leaders help the whole association to develop healthily and function smoothly

b. lack of ethic and morality leads to bad consequences for the group and the leader himself (exp.)
2. (-) the high ethical and moral standards don't amount to effectiveness
3. (-) trust in his subordinates, clear judgment and decent flexibility are the keys to becoming an effective leader. And a better leader also should have a high moral standard (exp.)

Text

We are now in a rapidly developing society rife with（充满？貌似这个短语用得比较多的是略微贬义色彩） different minds, which calls for a much more effective leadership than ever. Thus, what(which) kind of leader best defines the word "effective" has sparked a hot debate. The speaker's contention reflected many people's idea on this issue. However, in my observation, this plausible assertion is basically defective.

To start with, I don't deny the importance of ethical and moral standards to every leader. These merits are part-and-parcel in handling all kinds of affairs. The integrity and kindness of a leader could play an essential role to inspire his or her followers, which would also promote his or her popularity and credibility. As a result, the whole group or state would be benefitted in the long run: it would be much more united and its morale would surge（觉得这句表达得有些别扭，虽然意思看得懂。。。）. On the contrary, if a leader is（was/如果是虚拟语气与后面would be 对应） deficient in morality, he or she would be overthrown sooner or later, leaving harmful impacts to the group he or she served in. For instance, Richard Nixon, notorious for his disgraceful deeds trying to bug the opponent's campaign office which is known as the Watergate scandal, was finally ousted from office in 1974, leaving a blot in American recent history.//时态变化有点多，好多would有点绕，是不是考虑一般时态来表达//正法两个方面论证很好，逻辑上很好地论证了主题。

However, a lofty moral standard doesn't necessarily amount to a higher efficiency. As is well known, the primary task for a leader is to make decisions for his group. A moral leader always have much to think about before he make a major decision, such as the loyalty to his motherland, the faith to his belief, the responsibility for his subordinates, and etc.. They will make the process of deciding even much harder（决定的过程很困难，the process of deciding，有点chin，不如直接改成使得决策变得更加困难）. Moreover, a responsible leader would also try to balance the interests among different sides, which would put extra burden on his shoulderThe factors listed above all serve as negative forces in accumulating the speed of making decisions, which will surely hamper the leader's efficiency.
（这一段没大看懂，考虑更加周全跟领导的moral standard conflict?逻辑上感觉有些牵强.）.

From my point of view, the essences of being an efficient leader comprise 3 main points, which are the trust in his subordinates, a clear judgment and a decent flexibility. If a leader tries to dominate every single affair he is in charge of, the task would be enormous and impossible(task跟impossible不搭配). So he must learn to decentralize his power, saving his time and energy to the foremost decisions. Thus a leader must learn to trust his subordinates for some basic work. A clear judgment can provide a precise understanding to/of the situation, which would be helpful in making decisions. To ensure the efficiency also requires(缺主语, the leaders are required) the ability to be flexible, trying to find the possible shortcuts for every task. But meanwhile we should be aware that the flexibility shouldn't be unlimited, it should be under the curb of law and morality.（让步很好）

To sum up, maintaining high ethical and moral standards is always good for a leader, and we should encourage people with such virtues to become leaders（引申好，我咋就没想到捏？）. However, the efficiency of leading is not based on these virtues.（标点，逗号吧，再加个and，后一句的it跟这句联系得很紧） It’s a matter of the art and technique of leadership rather than the standards of ethic or morality.

cloverlanpusUID: 2606441

Seeing though the whole process of history, characters of every age varied, yet people's pursuit for better living condition never stop. During this pursuit, the most effective and speedy way to get closer to this everlasting goal generally reveal itself to people's realization: learn to compromise and cooperation within the group of individuals holding similar value and the outlook of life and world. Therefore, the leaders stand out to record the well-accepted moral and ethical notions as standards to maintain the harmony of groups for every individual's sake. As time goes by, however, limited and different reaches of source pose a new need for the sharing among groups, which requires represents of different groups to communicate. To be effective intermediates, these public leaders have to learn to withhold, if not accepted to others, some moral notions to achieve the final cooperation.(背景铺垫的过多了，显得有些啰嗦，开头还是应该以突出观点为主）

As mentioned above, the basic task as a leader is the undergirding of the group's moral and ethical notion, as far as I am concerned. Although these conceptions are the base upon which those individuals come together, they might not be well conformed to by everybody taking into consideration people' behaviors seldom go with their virtual hopes, thus lies the need for a rational one to maintain standards.（深入的不错） Here the prosperity and stability of Victorian Age serves as a persuasive example. Sustained by the queen's solemn attitude towards sexual morality (which is disputably a commonly respected virtue), families at that time were just like small kingdoms where father as the king, mother as the faithful and submissive companion of the husband and children are strictly disciplined. It was just because of the stability of these components that the name Victoria and her age of great achievement are eventually remembered.（例子不错，重点再向leader转一点）

However, the mere ability to maintain moral criterions within the group is never sufficient for any leader whose aim is keeping pace with others. An effective leader also play the role as a effective diplomat, who is well qualified to create a fundamental stage, the moral notion, with other leaders for further discussion on, say, common interests, the methods of regulation, and so forth. After all, the individuals of varied groups are brought up in different environment, having their own experiences and no wonder hold firm their own notions for what is right or wrong. To this extent, if the leaders overemphasize on the ethical standard of their own parts without mutual compromise and respect, even a terrible war can possibly be simulated, not to mention an agreement benefiting all participations.（结构很棒）

Looking still further, it is not difficult to see a wet （net么?)interweaved by different nations, regions and races the world present to us. The past have witnessed enough wars and conflicts caused by the unsettlement of different ethnically based groups: From the ancient racial conflicts like the famous Crusade and the destructive Thirty Years' War in Europe, to the summit World War Two, during which the Jews suffer from crucial persecution, to the clashes between Pakistan and Israel, as well as the numerous conflicts predominantly in the communist states after the Cold War, most of which were results from long-time discordances and eventually motivated by the group leaders. （例子排比很有气势）(感觉有点偏题呢.觉得ethnical 这里是伦理讲，按种族理解有点怪怪的。）
Why the lack of mutual understanding within our human race go so far as to many internecine warfare? Did us forget our primate purpose forming these groups? Whatever the answers are, the leaders must always have in mind their missions, whether maintaining the ethical and moral principles of their own groups or seeking common ground while reserving differences,（最后没有观点了？） the essential goal is to properly meeting the demands of every individual and accelerating society's prosperity as a whole. Only in this are they worthy the title of effectiveness.

文笔大赞~~例子也很好，作者知识渊博啊~~观点可以再明确些，有些偏散文了，我这种逻辑控看的有点晕。

wdassfmUID: 2542447

9# cloverlanpus

谢谢队长修改，很多启发呢~下面是我自己的修改稿：

Seeing though the whole process of history, characters of every age varied, yet people's pursuit for better living condition never stop. During this everlasting pursuit, leaders emerge to record the well-accepted moral and ethical notions as standards to maintain the harmony of groups for every individual's sake. However, limited and different reaches of source of various groups pose them new roles as intermediates to negotiate for sharing, in which case the withholding of certain moral notions differing between two groups is equally important.

As mentioned above, the basic task as a leader is the undergirding of the group's moral and ethical notion, as far as I am concerned. Although these conceptions are the base upon which those individuals come together, they might not be well conformed to by everybody taking into consideration people' behaviors seldom go with their virtual hopes, thus lies the need for a rational one to maintain standards. Here the prosperity and stability of Victorian Age serves as a persuasive example. Sustained by the queen's solemn attitude towards sexual morality (which is disputably a commonly respected virtue), families at that time were just like small kingdoms where father as the king, mother as the faithful and submissive companion of the husband and children are strictly disciplined. It was just because of the stability of these components maintained by the family virtue that the name Victoria and her age of great achievement are eventually remembered.

However, the mere ability to maintain moral criterions within the group is never sufficient for any leader whose aim is keeping pace with others. An effective leader also play the role as a effective diplomat, who is well qualified to create a fundamental stage, the moral notion, with other leaders for further discussion on, say, common interests, the methods of regulation, and so forth. After all, the individuals of varied groups are brought up in different environment, having their own experiences and no wonder hold firm their own notions for what is right or wrong. To this extent, if the leaders overemphasize on the ethical standard of their own parts without mutual compromise and respect, even a terrible war can possibly be simulated, not to mention an agreement benefiting all participations.

Looking still further, it is not difficult to see a net interweaved by different nations, regions and races the world present to us. Under such a complex and intersected circumstance, the sense of ethical superiority may eventually occur if the leader emphasized too much on a nation’s moral principles, which is prone to leading war. A good case in point is the WW2, a time of Germany’s expansion and massacre of Jews due to Germans’ ethnocentrism heated by Hitler.

Why the lack of mutual understanding within our human race go so far as to the world-wide warfare? Did us forget our primate purpose forming these groups? Whatever the answers are, the leaders must always have in mind their missions, maintaining the ethical and moral principles of their own groups，as well as seeking common ground while reserving differences with other groups. For their essential goal is to properly meeting the demands of every individual and accelerating society's prosperity as a whole and only in this way are they worthy the title of effectiveness.

草木也知愁UID: 2487572

1、发贴格式错了 ISSUE和题号之间不要有空格 argument要全写 顺便告诉你组里其他人

2、下次把题目贴上，要不别人看的时候还要自己去找题目

To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

论点：有效的领导者需要在群体内部maintain standards，在群体间交流的时候求同存异。
提纲： 1、交代人们形成不同群体的过程以及需要领导者来达成的目的—对美好生活的追求
2/3、分别陈述不同范围的maintain standards和求同存异
4、列举种族战争
5、深化讨论领导者的使命是帮助人们最求美好生活，因此两方面都要做好


for your thesis statement 群体内部和群体外部这两天我没有看出什么对立，而且求同存异的中文都模糊的很

for the Point I:

"人们形成不同群体的过程"说这个有点绕远了，没有看你原文，但是这点务必简洁，如果是background information尽量压缩在一两句

“需要领导者来达成的目的—对美好生活的追求 ”空、没有实际涉及key words——effective、ethical、moral standard

for the Point II&III&IV&V:同上（没看你的原文，只能说这些了）

跑不跑题 取决于你的thesis statement是否把握好了topic的逻辑 同时你的每一个point是不是做对了逻辑方向以及挖对了深度 还有就是key words的把握