issue130~求狠拍

xhl1988UID: 2668002

写了几篇， 还是不太会写，大家提提建议啊

"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."



Is it important to the society that how children are socialized? I concede that how children are socialized is crucial to our society. However, socialization is not the only vital factor to our society. Meanwhile, there are still some serious problems that hinder us to well educate and socialize our children to bring about a better society

To begin with, how children are socialized is indeed important to our society. The world is globalizing at a stunning speed and becomes smaller for us to live in. People of this society need to be better socialized in order to live in the society and live with others. To the society, people need to be more familiar with the rules of the society, the culture of the society, the value of the society and so forth. For instance, people should be familiar with their careers. Otherwise, the society would develop more slowly. Without these, people cannot build a better society. To others, people need to learn to cooperate with others, communicate with others, live with others and so on. Nowadays, people are facing with more complex tasks, which makes people impossibly refuse to cooperate with others. Also, if people didn’t learn to communicate with others while childhood, they may have strange character or even become antisocial. Thus, how children are socialized is of great importance to our society.

However, the existing problem are preventing us from raising our children to build a better society. First of all, our educator emphasize too much on memorizing rather than creating. In schools, children are often taught what is right or what the result is rather than how the result comes out to be right. They get few chances to look through the process of a task while they may know the result of the task very well. Such education might make children lacking of creativity and may influence the development of the society. In addition, children are often encouraged to win in whatever competition rather than to cooperate with others. Nowadays the competition is more and more fierce. All kinds of contest, from class discussion to sports activities, provide an environment of competition. And children have to be more competitive. However, while practicing their ability of competition, many children ignore to develop their skills of cooperation. Lacking skills of cooperation, different parts of the society cannot work together, thus preventing the society from developing.

In addition, when children come to university [url=]which[/url] is considered to teach children professional skills, there still exist some problems. First, though university set some major courses to students, the courses are not well related to the demand of the society. What the students are caught to always fails to catch up with the times. Students don’t know the new trend of their major in the world, and they are not caught with up-to-date knowledge. If a student comes to work with what he was taught, he will probably fail in doing his job well.

Last but not least, just like in schools, many children are not well educated at home. For example, children should have strong wills to face any problem. If a person gives up what he is doing as long as he meets some difficulties, the society will not be promoted. And this character is always formed before going to school taught by parents. Also parents need to teach their child not to break the laws. Unfortunately, as children get more information form mass media, they may be misled. A recent news reports that government of Moscow has set a regulation that teenagers cannot go out of home after night because of the criminal behavior of teenagers increased largely.

To sum up, there are indeed some problems with the education in schools and at home. We need to find out the solutions to make our children well educated and socialized to bring about a better society.

nuaaskyUID: 2615912

楼主与别人不同地方在于别人喜欢用平衡论点的方法“即社会化很重要，社会化过多了不行，过少了又不行”的典型思路，而楼主另辟蹊径，提出种种我们应当解决的问题。赞赏！
我想如果作者最后结尾能够多写一点稍微提下解决问题要考虑哪些问题，整篇文章就会从只分析问题上升到解决问题层面，文章稍微会更有深度一点~
想必作者是从IBT过来的吧？行文风格简直就是IBT的，而且读下来超顺，没有任何生词和复杂长难句（比那些一想到不会的表达就从词典里查个GRE的词出来让人看不懂的人强些我觉得）。但这可能也是你的缺点，因为对于词语的复杂和句式的多变是有要求的。你可以通过读些范文，看些什么工具箱啊，等等方式潜移默化的解决。
你说你还是不太会写我觉得不用太担心，这篇是我今天研究１３０看过的５、６篇中最与众不同的一篇。你可以把这种风格发扬到底。很多人都去深究概念，力图把文章写得更深刻，这个你参考。如何更深刻应该是你下一步要注意的问题。毕竟GRE的作文比托福或许真的更有深刻内涵。
所以作者不要太担心，我个人以为将这种风格保留下来，不要去搞什么模版，就这样写，想到什么就先记下来，然后再串成一个思路分层次分方面表述论述清楚，就可以了～然后再多练，多看提高表达，攻坚阶段再把如何开头结尾及一些技巧攻下，冲刺阶段再把练习自己的能力在规定时间内爆发出来～ＯＫ，GRE　AW就这么被搞定了～加油哦～
鄙人也在学习中～意见仅凭参考～～