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[活动] TOEFL暑假集结号作文九次作业 by daidai [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-8-7 01:45:12 |显示全部楼层
Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.(08.5.10)
周六2200.

1.艺术的普及程度不如体育的普及程度,应该花钱在艺术上,否则艺术将失传。
2.艺术的形式多种多样,人们从中可以享受,可以学习。
3.体育运动已经得到了很好的发展,所以不再需要政府投入更多的资金。比如,去年08的奥运会,政府通过体育运动赚了很多资金,而不是花费资金。因此我同意论点。
An expanding number of people are trying to understand the secret of the art. They believe that art bring happiness and enjoyment, but people who favor athletics, on the other hand, claim that only athletics could strong their body and even the nation. As I perceive the argument, I agree that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. My view will be substantiated by the following reasons.

First of all, it is essential to increase the penetration of art than athletics. As we all know, Olympic Games is held every four year. However, few of us care about the art exhibition. A diminishing number of people are aware of the significances of the art history and learn it by heart. We should pay more attention to the art otherwise we may know nothing about the meaning of the artwork in museum after thousands of years. The more the government spends, the more the citizens pay attention to. Government should spend money in support of arts, for example, the expansion of the Museum of History and the maintenance of heritage so that people could understand the essence of art and enjoy from the arts.

In addition, there are many kinds of arts which the government should develop and maintain. For instance, literature and art let us think deeply and know about the difficult life and even taste others life. Another example, Musical Arts always brings us harmonies melody which gives us the enjoyment. Whenever I am unset, I like to listen to the soft music, it bring me a peaceful and quiet feeling. On the other hand, athletes can not bring us many kinds of feelings inner center. So, it is obvious that supporting arts is a better choice.

Finally, athletes have already developed better than the art does. There is no need to take vast money in the athletes. For example, China earned a lot in the 2008 Olympic Games. People all over the world learned about the China through this activity, but they still think the Great Wall and Museum of Qin Terra Cotta Warriors and Horses are mysterious to the foreigners. The government should let more and more people understand the history of our country so that they could communicate with us deeply.

To some up, the arts need more money to support than the athletes. The government should spend more in the art. Clearly, all analysis warrants an unshakable conclusion that the government should spend more in the arts than athletes.
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US Applicant 枫华正茂

发表于 2009-8-9 10:06:53 |显示全部楼层
Do you agree or disagree: governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.(08.5.10)周六2200.8 }) o; f; N$ E
1.艺术的普及程度不如体育的普及程度,应该花钱在艺术上,否则艺术将失传。
2.艺术的形式多种多样,人们从中可以享受,可以学习。# X* E* R% N$ m" w
3.体育运动已经得到了很好的发展,所以不再需要政府投入更多的资金。比如,去年08的奥运会,政府通过体育运动赚了很多资金,而不是花费资金。因此我同意论点。3 X% Y. ^/ d, I3 d% Z
An expanding number of people are trying to understand the secret of the art. They believe that art bring happiness and enjoyment感觉这里加上一句“所以他们认为应该吧更多的钱花在艺术上”更好, but people who favor athletics, on the other hand, claim that only athletics could strong their body and even the nation. As I perceive the argument, I agree that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. My view will be substantiated by the following reasons.不太必要。开始表明观点,同意。

First of all, it is essential to increase the penetration of art than athletics. As we all know, Olympic Games is held every four year. However, few of us care about the art exhibition. A diminishing number of people are aware of the significances of the art history and learn it by heart. We should pay more attention to the art otherwise we may know nothing about the meaning of the artwork in museum after thousands of years. The more the government spends, the more the citizens pay attention to. Government should spend money in support of arts, for example, the expansion of the Museum of History and the maintenance of heritage so that people could understand the essence of art and enjoy from the arts.观点不错,但是感觉论证不强。推荐用京剧做比,大家都很热衷奥运,但是很少有年轻人喜欢京剧,而京剧是中国的一种象征,所以应该更多投资艺术,保护这些“活宝”。或者中国的水墨动画
  W) C% ?6 c, X$ [, a0 [
In addition, there are many kinds of arts which the government should develop and maintain. For instance, literature and art let us think deeply and know about the difficult life and even taste others life. Another example, Musical Arts always brings us harmonies melody which gives us the enjoyment. Whenever I am unset, I like to listen to the soft music, it bring me a peaceful and quiet feeling. On the other hand, athletes can not bring us many kinds of feelings inner center. So, it is obvious that supporting arts is a better choice.艺术的魅力,在于给人内在的享受,而这是体育所不具备的。但是没有很强的理由说明为什么就要给艺术多投,给体育少投,体育还能强身健体,让人更有激情呢?建议可以联系下现在的生活压力,说明人们需要心灵的解放。

U4 \
Finally, athletes have already developed better than the art does. There is no need to take vast money in(take in 能表示投资吗?) the athletes. For example, China earned a lot in the 2008 Olympic Games. People all over the world learned about the China through this activity, but they still think the Great Wall and Museum of Qin Terra Cotta Warriors and Horses are mysterious to the foreigners. The government should let more and more people understand the history有点偏了哦 of our country so that they could communicate with us deeply. ! ?; J: S9 M) V" D& U
* N$ q2 e- O' p# z
To some up, the arts need more money to support than the athletes. The government should spend more in the art. Clearly, all analysis warrants(感觉应该是warrant吧) an unshakable conclusion that the government should spend more in the arts than athletes.最后一段有点太罗嗦了,可以总结下上边的观点。比如艺术和体育都是人类的财富,体育已经炙手可热,而艺术却少有人问津,加上艺术是人们所必须的,所以。。。

呆呆这篇文章写得很好啊,遣词造句非常熟练,观点也很好,只是论证感觉稍显无力,我也是班门弄斧了
看了楼主的备考日志1楼的自我描述,感觉你真是个牛女啊,敬佩下。加油!
要是有空了也去看看我的吧,我第一次计时,还请狠狠批评,O(∩_∩)O~
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taoyukun-daidai + 1 谢谢!下午去评你的,加油!!!

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发表于 2009-8-9 10:35:55 |显示全部楼层
你的例证很好哦,谢谢!!! 2# DriftKing
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发表于 2009-8-11 13:54:21 |显示全部楼层
An expanding number of people are trying to understand the secret of the art. They believe that art bring happiness and enjoyment, but people who favor athletics, on the other hand, claim that only athletics could strong their body and even the nation. As I perceive the argument, I agree that governments should spend more money in support of arts than in support of athletics. My view will be substantiated by the following reaso(issues的写法,最后那句多余,还有就是than athletics 那里只要写in support to 多余了)

First of all, it is essential to increase the penetration of art than athletics. As we all know, Olympic Games is held every four year. However, few of us care about the art exhibition. A diminishing number of people are aware of the significances of the art history and learn it by heart. We should pay more attention to the art otherwise we may know nothing about the meaning of the artwork in museum after thousands of years. The more the government spends, the more the citizens pay attention to. Government should spend money in support of arts, for example, the expansion of the Museum of History and the maintenance of heritage so that people could understand the essence of art and enjoy from the arts(在点一下题会更好些).8 M% a; a: C: B. A(

In addition, there are many kinds of arts which the government should develop and maintain. For instance, literature and art let us think deeply and know about the difficult life and even taste others life. Another example, Musical Arts always brings us harmonies melody which gives us the enjoyment. Whenever I am unset, I like to listen to the soft music, it bring me a peaceful and quiet feeling. On the other hand, athletes can not bring us many kinds of feelings inner center. So, it is obvious that supporting arts is a better choice.(例子举个人的挺好,但感觉跟上一段说的差不多)

Finally, athletes have already developed better than the art does. There is no need to take vast money in the athletes. For example, China earned a lot in the 2008 Olympic Games. People all over the world learned about the China through this activity, but they still think the Great Wall and Museum of Qin Terra Cotta Warriors and Horses are mysterious to the foreigners. The government should let more and more people understand the history of our country so that they could communicate with us deeply. (最后提一下反对的观点,写的挺好。

To some up, the arts need more money to support than the athletes. The government should spend more in the art. Clearly, all analysis warrants an unshakable conclusion that the government should spend more in the arts than athletes.

写的很好,楼主实力很强
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taoyukun-daidai + 1 谢谢哦~

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RE: TOEFL暑假集结号作文九次作业 by daidai [修改]

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