ISSUE50

magiccolinUID：2619731

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 406          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009/8/6 22:40:33


Will the faculty spend time working outside the universities help their teaching? If the answer say yes, shall all the faculty have to do so? The newly developing idea of gap year --- working outside the campus to explore the world --  seems a good choice for the most teachers, but it may not apply to all.

Pratices makes perfect. From the pratices view, working as a professional adds lots experience to the teaching theory. In the fast developed society, the information are booming quickly. Take the IT industry for example, 10 years ago the Windows 98 system dominates the most computer systems. Three years later, Windows 2002 came into use and took the place of Windows 98 system. Then the Windows XP era came, follwing  by Vista. If the teachers graduated years ago only familiar with the older systerm and did not adapt to the new IT technolgy, probably his curriculum would only remains dull and on theory only. Moreover the fast chaning society  required the faculty to do so. Years before, chalk and blackboard is still the only two things we used in lectures and presentation. Now the multimedia equipment adds great convience to the class. If the faculty only practise the chalk still, the education may be lag behind.  Still in order to help the student better prepare the society, the faculty should do so. Working in the company, the professor would equipped with fresh ideas and the students will in returen get benefit. Also this would bring the connection between the school and company closer. Students could then knows the future job market well and quickly reponds to the job market's need with the help of their professors.
However, there are still some problems derserve attention. Working outside, the professors may have to shorten the teaching process. Besides, the professors are supposed to focus more on the academic rather than on the business world. If they put too much energy and time on the  business outside school, they may probably ensure the students a quality education.


On my perspective of View, I highly recommed the the teachers to take a gap year working oustide the campus or a reaserch programme cofounded by the company could be a very good idea also. The key on working outside is whether the project will at last bring benefit to the student and the society as a whole.  The idea is very pratical if balanced well.

0623338UID：2479855

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 406          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009/8/6 22:40:33

Will the faculty spend time working outside the universities help their teaching? If the answer say yes, shall all the faculty have to do so? The newly developing idea of gap year --- working outside the campus to explore the world --  seems a good choice for the most teachers, but it may not apply to all faculty.

1、疑问开头，化解题目似乎过于简单了。题目要旨是我表了颜色的那2个，仿佛你只强调了前者。2、还有那个 idea of gap year 我实在没看懂。3、此外我不觉得这是个CHOICE的问题。

Pratices makes perfect.【熟能生巧？和这个话题没关系。】From the pratices view, [什么是Pratices view? ] working as a professional adds lots experience to the teaching theory.前面这句，语法有错，不通。 In the fast developed society, the information are booming quickly.这两个词重复了。Take the IT industry for example, 10 years ago the Windows 98 system dominates the most computer systems. Three years later, Windows 2002 came into use and took the place of Windows 98 system. Then the Windows XP era came, follwing  by Vista. If the teachers graduated years ago only familiar with the older systerm and did not adapt to the new IT technolgy, probably his curriculum would only remains dull and on theory only. Moreover the fast chaning society  required the faculty to do so. Years before, chalk and blackboard is still the only two things we used in lectures and presentation. Now the multimedia equipment adds great convience to the class. If the faculty only practise the chalk still, the education may be lag behind.  Still in order to help the student better prepare the society, the faculty should do so. Working in the company, the professor would equipped with fresh ideas and the students will in returen get benefit. Also this would bring the connection between the school and company closer. Students could then knows the future job market well and quickly reponds to the job market's need with the help of their professors.

However, there are still some problems derserve attention. Working outside, the professors may have to shorten the teaching process. Besides, the professors are supposed to focus more on the academic rather than on the business world. If they put too much energy and time on the  business outside school, they may probably ensure the students a quality education.


On my perspective of View, I highly recommed the the teachers to take a gap year working oustide the campus or a reaserch programme cofounded by the company could be a very good idea also. The key on working outside is whether the project will at last bring benefit to the student and the society as a whole.  The idea is very pratical if balanced well.

总结：第一篇文章，的确写的很匆忙。句子都很凌乱，结构不清晰。很多语法错误的。还有拼写的错误。请把文章放到WORD里检查。

时间有些晚，我先改到那，我已经让群里的人帮你明天改了。呵呵。加油。

magiccolinUID：2619731

恩 我要多修改 修改

118824hhshUID：2679311

ISSUE50

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach." WORDS: 406          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009/8/6 22:40:33 说明下：我每段都大致改了下，尽量力求和作者意思一致，所以有些地方也就没太动笔了。 Will the faculty spend time working outside the universities help their teaching? If the answer say yes, shall all the faculty have to do so? The newly developing idea of gap year --- working outside the campus to explore the world --  seems a good choice for the most teachers, but it may not apply to all. 改后：Should all faculties be requested to work outside in the field that is irrelevant to his courses even though it can help to their teaching? In my view, the idea above seems to be a good choice for most teachers, but it isn’t applicable to all. 这段我改动比较大 Pratices makes perfect. From the pratices view, working as a professional adds lots experience to the teaching theory. In the fast developed society, the information are booming quickly. Take the IT industry for example, 10 years ago the Windows 98 system dominates the most computer systems. Three years later, Windows 2002 came into use and took the place of Windows 98 system. Then the Windows XP era came, follwing  by Vista. If the teachers graduated years ago only familiar with the older systerm and did not adapt to the new IT technolgy, probably his curriculum would only remains dull and on theory only. Moreover the fast chaning society  required the faculty to do so. Years before, chalk and blackboard is still the only two things we used in lectures and presentation. Now the multimedia equipment adds great convience to the class. If the faculty only practise the chalk still, the education may be lag behind.  Still in order to help the student better prepare the society, the faculty should do so. Working in the company, the professor would equipped with fresh ideas and the students will in returen get benefit. Also this would bring the connection between the school and company closer. Students could then knows the future job market well and quickly reponds to the job market's need with the help of their professors. 改后：As a saying goes “practice make perfect”, working outside the academic field can add the faculties’ experiences and conduct to his research or teaching tasks. First of all, in order to adjust to the change of information age, we should do so. Take the IT industry for an example: 10 years ago the Windows 98 system dominates the most computer systems. Three years later, Windows 2002 came into use and took the place of Windows 98 system. Then the Windows XP era came, the following is Vista. If the teachers graduated years ago only familiar with the older system and did not adapt to the new IT technology, probably his curriculum would only remains dull and on theory only.(其实这个例子前面介绍电脑操作系统的句子可以再压缩，要重点突出后面老师的问题才是关键) Besides, in order to help the student better take advantage of the future job markets, the faculty should do so. After working in the company, the professor can bring fresh ideas to the students and in return they will benefit from the fresh ideas. Also, this behavior would help to build the connection between the school and company closer. Then students could know the future job market well and quickly responds to the job market's need with the help of their professors.(那个粉笔与多媒体的例子不太合适，我建议删除，还有后面的例子我尽量保持作者的意思) However, there are still some problems derserve attention. Working outside, the professors may have to shorten the teaching process. Besides, the professors are supposed to focus more on the academic rather than on the business world. If they put too much energy and time on the  business outside school, they may probably ensure the students a quality education. 改后：However, there are still a few problems we should be concerned with. Working outside, the professors may have to shorten the teaching process. Besides, as a matter of fact, the professors are supposed to focus more on the academic rather than on the business world. However, if they put too much energy and time on the business outside school, it will have an negative influence on the instruction quality.(其实，论证可以再饱满些，更有说服力) On my perspective of View, I highly recommed the the teachers to take a gap year working oustide the campus or a reaserch programme cofounded by the company could be a very good idea also. The key on working outside is whether the project will at last bring benefit to the student and the society as a whole.  The idea is very pratical if balanced well. 改后：On my perspective of View, I highly recommend the teachers to take a gap year（gap year?我不太明白什么意思） working outside the campus or a research program cofounded by the company could be a very good idea also. The key on working outside is whether the project will at last bring benefit to the student and the society as a whole.  The idea is very practical(constructive更好) if balanced well. 总结： 好的地方：作者能够把握住自己的行文主线，没跑题，很不错 有待改进的地方：段落的论证需要加强，尤其是TS表述的准确性有待提高。另外，语言上的再下点功夫，我建议可以适当的背些资料，比如写作200句，会对你语言的规范性有帮助。