2009 作文小组 招新 8.18第4次作业

lsr91UID: 2540702

8.18
同意或不同意：老師的報酬應該根據學生的表現來決定


My answer:
Generally speaking, the performance of students should not be authorized to judge their teachers’ work. Because it is hard to say that teachers’ work has the direct relation to students’ scores of tests. And there is amount of elements that can decide students’ scores in tests. As for now, especially in my country China, we recommend to teach students how to develop their own personal qualities. (我想表达我们提倡给学生素质教育
不知道对不对), not only science knowledge.

I don’t think students’ scores in test is the only one way to judge whether the teacher is good or not. For example, some students good at sports like basketball, running, and they usually be asked to train in school team. Even they go to have classes, they have not had enough time to review the knowledge in time, so they can hardly had a good result in examinations. We cannot say that teachers were not being in their works. (我想说我们不能说老师们没有投身于他们的工作中)

Still about the students who are good at sports, especially the students who are in weight lifting teams. In my country, the weight team always built with students whose families have not enough money to afford their school fee. The only way they can still at school is training and win all the games they take part in. There is a stoned believe in their mind that if I cannot win the competition, I cannot go into school any more. In some way, they win the game with their desire of lives, not with their coaches, also their P.E. teachers’ teaching.

Another kind of students who have the wrong attitude of study cannot support their teachers’ work. For instance, maybe due to the substantial background of families, some students first don’t like to go to school. Even they sit in classrooms, they would not concentrate on what teachers said. They hold an idea all the time that my family is rich, I would not be afraid of my future, I can step after my parents or replace their enterprise when they old. So when teachers meet these students, what they could do?

In conclusion, study belongs to the person who is going to chase—student. Teachers always act as a leader of knowledge. And there is an old saying in my country: Master is the person who take you into temper, you is the person who is going to practice for yourself. (师傅领进门，修行在个人
不知道对不对哦) We should find another way to estimate teachers.

谢谢批改的同学！加油！

zhangjingyi29UID: 2449770

Generally speaking, the performance of students should not be authorized to judge their teachers’ work. Because ?it is hard to say that teachers’ work has the direct relation to students’ scores of tests. And there is amount of elements that can decide students’ scores in tests. As for now, especially in my country China, we recommend to teach students how to develop their own personal qualities. (我想表达我们提倡给学生素质教育9 }  _5 z0 f3 D
不知道对不对), not only science knowledge.


I don’t think students’ score in test is the only one way to judge whether the teacher is good or not. For example, some students good at sports (who are good at sports) like basketball, running, and they usually be (are usually) asked to train(accept training) in school team. Even they go to have classes, they have not had(去掉吧) enough time to review the knowledge in time, so they can hardly had a good result in examinations. We cannot say that teachers were not being in their works. (我想说我们不能说老师们没有投身于他们的工作中)we cannot claim that our teachers haven’t devoted themselves to their work.（**）
about the students who are good at sports, especially the students who are in weight lifting teams.（能给我解释一下么？） In my country, the weight team always built with students whose families have not enough money to afford their school fee. The only way they can still be at school is training and win all the games they take part in. There is a stoned believe in their mind that if I(they?) cannot win the competition, I cannot go into school any more. In some ways, they win the game with their desire of lives, not with their coaches, also their P.E. teachers’ teaching. 我明白你的意思，但是整段例子的话会给人一种不清晰的感觉，最好有主题句~4 t0 G: N7 m/ }- r

Another kind of students who have the wrong attitude of study cannot support their teachers’ work. For instance, maybe due to the substantial background of families, some students first don’t like to go to school. Even they sit in classrooms, they would not concentrate on what teachers said. They hold an idea all the time that my family is rich, I would not be afraid of my future; I can step after my parents or replace their enterprise when they are old.(because of the richness in their life, they never be afraid of their future and always have some daydreams, such as stepping after their parents or replacing their enterprise when their parents are getting old.) So when teachers meet these students, what they could do?

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In conclusion, study belongs to the person who is going to chase—student?. Teachers always act as a leader of knowledge. And there is an old saying in my country: Master is the person who takes you into temper, but you are the person who is going to practice for yourself. (师傅领进门，修行在个人) 不知道对不对哦—我也不知道，不过要是让我说这句话可能会是：It is the teachers who give us the introduction of our learning, but when coming to the study, it should still depend on ourselves) We should find another way to estimate teachers.
个人觉得童鞋进步了不少，不过在语言上和结构上可能还需改进@@特别注意人称的使用，在说别人是一定说they,在一篇文章里最好统一一下@@R, h3 o
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jzouc_ibt27UID: 2513888

Generally speaking, the performance of students should not be authorized to judge their teachers’ work. Because it is hard to say that teachers’ work has the direct relation to students’ scores of tests. And there is amount of elements that can decide students’ scores in tests. As for now, especially in my country China, we recommend to teach students how to develop their own personal qualities. (素质教育是quality-oriented education.应试教育是test-oriented education), not only science knowledge. 7 S2 G7 H: m3 }8

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I don’t think students’ scores in test is the only one way to judge whether the teacher is good or not. For example, some students good at sports like basketball, running, and they usually be asked to train in school team. Even they go to have classes, they have not had enough time to review the knowledge in time, so they can hardly had a good result in examinations. We cannot say that teachers were not being in their works.


（最好在每一段的开头有个概括性的句子能总领本段。）Still about the students who are good at sports, especially the students who are in weight lifting teams. In my country, the weight team always built with students whose families have not enough money to afford their school fee. The only way they can still at school is training and win all the games they take part in. There is a stoned believe in their mind that if I cannot win the competition, I cannot go into school any more. In some way, they win the game with their desire of lives, not with their coaches, also their P.E. teachers’ teaching.
（和上段的观点比较相似。） ' x, p( u% c; z$ L0 `和



Another kind of students who have the wrong attitude of study cannot support their teachers’ work. For instance, maybe due to the substantial background of families, some students first don’t like to go to school. Even they sit in classrooms, they would not concentrate on what teachers said. They hold an idea all the time that my family is rich, I would not be afraid of my future, I can step after my parents or replace their enterprise when they old. So when teachers meet these students, what they could do?
（你论述的重点似乎是学生，而题目的重点似乎是老师和老师工资之间的关系吧） 2 ^" {0 |5 z' i8 x2 d

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In conclusion, study belongs to the person who is going to chase—student. Teachers always act as a leader of knowledge. And there is an old saying in my country: Master is the person who take you into temper, you is the person who is going to practice for yourself. (师傅领进门，修行在个人
2 B9 m1 b& }+ l不知道对不对哦) We should find another way to estimate teachers.


语言还可以，文章的结构如果能再清楚一点就更好了，注意紧扣主题展开论述