=七月流火=小组第1次小组作业 argu112 by ianking7368

ianking7368UID: 2655993

第一次作业，请大家狠拍，不吝赐教，呵呵，谢过：）


TOPIC: ARGUMENT112 - The following proposal was raised at a meeting of the Franklin City Council.
"Franklin Airport, which is on a bay, is notorious for flight delays. The airport management wants to build new runways to increase capacity but can only do so by filling in 900 acres of the bay. The Bay Coalition organization objects that filling in the bay will disrupt tidal patterns and harm wildlife. But the airport says that if it is permitted to build its new runways, it will fund the restoration of 1,000 acres of wetlands in areas of the bay that have previously been damaged by industrialization. This plan should be adopted, for it is necessary to reduce the flight delays, and the wetlands restoration part of the plan ensures that the bay's environment will actually be helped rather than hurt."
WORDS: 555         TIME: 00:50:00          DATE: 2009-8-19 下午 02:24:03
In this proposal, the author recommend that the council in Franklin adopt the plan that 900 acres of the bay should be filled to increase capacity of Frankling airport, which has long been suffering the problems of flight delays. The proposal indicates that although the play may harm the environment of the bay, the loss could be made up for the airport decides to help restore polluted wetlands of the bay which covers a lager area. The proposal seems reasonable; however, careful consideration reveals that there are several critical flaws in this proposal that make it less persuasive.
Firstly, the recommendation relies on an unwarranted assumption that increasing the capacity would eventually solve the problem of flight delays in the airport. In fact, the author fails to give any detailed description and analysis to explain what causes the flight delays actually. Maybe it is the poor management or communication system in the airport that causes the problem, and the capacity of the airport is big enough for its maximum passengers. Without more adequate evidences and explanations, the author can't convince me that the filling bay plan will actually solve the problem in the airport.
Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that the environment lost due to the filling plan could be made up by funding the restoration of the wetlands on the bay. It is true that the wetlands covers a larger area, but it common sense that different areas have different values in environment. Perhaps there are some endangered sea animals live the sea near the bay and the filling plan will destroy their habitat. Can we expect the sea animals to move to the wetlands for a new life? Moreover, it is always easier to damage than to restore. Although people may gain some short-term interests, however, it may cost much more expenses for people to restore the polluted area in the future. Without thoroughly evaluating and analyzing, it is unfair to predict that the restoration will make up the cost of the filling plan and the help improving the bay’s environment.
In addition, even if I concede that the restoration would help ensuring the bay's environment,  there is no sufficient evidence to ensure the restoration would be successful eventually. It is common sense that recovering an area with serious pollutions calls for not only a great deal of money, but also high technologies and lots of human resources. Could the airport's funding alone guarantee that the wetlands be restored back to what it used to be? It's difficult to say so. What's more, the proposal doesn't mention how much money would be spent for the restoring project. If the project needs much more money than the airports could bear, or the expense exceeds the profits the airport gained from the filling plan, will the airport continues to fund the restoring project?  
In sum up, the proposal fails to support the recommendation adequately. Before starting the filling project, it is better to find out what is the rally cause for the fight delay in the airport and whether more land is necessary and helpful to solve the problem. Moreover, a careful and full evaluation about the affection of the filling plan and the restoring project is needed. Anyhow, a hasty recommendation will not help solve the current problems, but also leads to new ones.


第一次作业，写的有点多了，也花了很长时间，求狠拍，请各位不吝赐教，谢过：）


130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

Word 611     Time 4：00

Socialization means learning one’s culture and how to live within it. Undoubted it is important both to the children and our society. However, is socialization alone determines the society’s future? It’s hard to say so for many great men in history has shown that individual power sometimes are strong enough to leave a deep impression on society and shape the future. As to the question whether we know how to prepare children for a better society or not, I hold the optimistic attitude because in most time, the society actually offers good socialization as well as sound individualization to the children and the both will help them pursue a better society.  
   
Thorough socialization, the children share and accept the common belief and moral standards of the society and learn how to communicate and cooperate with others. It also helps the children establish their values and become responsible citizens who will do good to their society and country. All these items-responsibility, communication, cooperation-are are of great value to the children’s development and our society’s future. In fact, many current social problems, such as ethnic and racial ones, are due to lacking of communication and understanding of each other; some vital issues, such as protecting the environment and sustainable development are so complex and challenging that call for cooperating between different people, regions even countries. In this sense, whether our society maintains peaceful and become more prosperous is depending on whether the children could cooperate and understand each other and take the social responsibilities in the future, or depends on how they are socialized.     
However, socialization is not the only decisive factor which shapes our future. Looking back at our history, many great achievements were made by those individuals with strong personal ambition, courage, creativity and persistence. That‘s because great ideas are always beyond their times and couldn’t be easily accepted by contemporaries and convention, and there are more difficulties to turn them into practice. For instance, Nelson Mandela, the first black president of South Africa, served 27 years in prison before his struggle for racial equality finally succeeded in his country. Owing to his great courage and unyielding perseverance, the history of South African was changed. His experiences show that not only socialization, but personal belief, dream, courage and endeavor also play an important role in deciding the destiny of our society.
Since socialization and personal endeavor are both significant to our society and future, then do we really raise the children for a better society, or do we actually know how to teach them to keep the balance just as the question asks? I think the question actually reveals the anxiety about the trend that in recent decades we put too much emphasis on encouraging the children for personal success and value while maybe overlooks the socialization. It maybe the case; however, stressing personal success doesn’t mean excluding cooperating with others and escaping social responsibilities. On the contrary, in the process to pursue personal success, good communication and cooperation are necessary and valuable; on the other hand, personal success is always tightly associated with society’s improvement and development. Just like Mandela, his struggle for racial equality not only accomplishes his personal dream, but also helps realize the dreams of thousands of people there. I think the society actually teaches the children to make a good combination of socialization and personal endeavor, which will help them construct a better future.
In sum up, both socialization-the responsibility, communication, cooperation- and individualization-personal endeavor and belief play significant role in determining the destiny of the society and pursuing personal success is a combination of both, therefore, our children are well prepared for a better society.  

dongzhi428UID: 2556730

issue 有么？
帮我好好看看呀 多谢啦https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=997984&extra=

dongzhi428UID: 2556730

In this proposal, the author recommend that the council in Franklin adopt the plan that 900 acres of the bay should be filled to increase capacity of Franklin airport, which has long been suffering the problems of flight delays for a long time. The proposal indicates that although the play may harm the environment of the bay, the loss could be made up for the airport decides to help restore polluted wetlands of the bay which covers a lager area. The proposal seems reasonable; however, careful consideration reveals that there are several critical flaws in this proposal that
（感觉可以换个更好的句型）make it less persuasive.

Firstly, the recommendation relies on an unwarranted assumption that increasing the capacity would eventually solve the problem of flight delays in the airport. In fact, the author fails to give any detailed description and analysis to(之前也有两个to 连用觉得不是很好) explain what causes the flight delays actually. Maybe it is the poor management or communication system in the airport that causes the problem（看到这我觉得你的定语从句用的有点多，因为读起来不像是好句子所以建议作者可以换一换句法）,
while it is more likely that the capacity of the airport is big enough for its maximum passengers(觉得有点别扭，还有不知道capacity是不是不需要再用big,仅个人观点). Without more adequate evidences and explanations, the author can't cannot convince me that the filling bay plan will actually solve the problem in the airport.

Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that the environment lost due to由于 the filling plan（我的文章里好像都用错了呵呵） could be made up by funding the restoration of the wetlands on the bay. It is true that the wetlands covers a larger area, but it common sense that different areas have different values in environment. Perhaps there are some endangered sea animals live the sea near the bay and the filling plan will destroy their habitat. Can we expect the sea animals to move to the wetlands for a new life? Moreover, it is always easier to damage than to restore. Although people may gain some short-term interests, however, it may cost much more expenses for people to restore the polluted area in the future. Without thoroughly
adv.? evaluating and analyzing, it is unfair to predict that the restoration will make up the cost of the filling plan and the help improving the bay’s environment.
In addition, even if I concede that the restoration would help ensuring the bay's environment, there is no sufficient evidence to ensure the restoration would be successful eventually. It is common sense that recovering an area with serious pollutions calls for not only a great deal of money, but also high technologies and lots of human resources. Could the airport's funding alone guarantee that the wetlands be restored back to what it used to be? It's difficult to say so. What's more, the proposal doesn't mention how much money would be spent for the restoring project. If the project needs much more money than the airports could bear(可考虑用rather than的句型), or the expense exceeds the profits the airport gained from the filling plan, will the airport continues to fund the restoring project?  
In（To） sum up, the proposal fails to support the recommendation adequately. Before starting the filling project, it is better to find out what is the rally cause for the fight delay in the airport and whether more land is necessary and helpful to solve the problem. Moreover, a careful and full evaluation about the affection of the filling plan and the restoring project is needed. Anyhow, a hasty recommendation will not help to solve the current problems, but also(不太对，感觉上) leads to new ones.
显然文章太长了 ，这样练习其实弊大于利 ，要用简短的文字最大程度上的说清漏洞，因为我觉得考场上不可能有时间写到这个多字。当然笔者要是有很久的准备时间不妨这样坚持下去。

ianking7368UID: 2655993

谢谢冬至的点评。语言啰唆是我argument的非常重要的问题，我会努力修改：）

ianking7368UID: 2655993

修改后的，谢谢啦：）

In this proposal, the author recommend that the council in Franklin adopt the plan that 900 acres of the bay should be filled to increase capacity of the airport, which has long been suffering the problems of flight delays The author indicates that although the plan may harm the environment , the loss could be made up for the airport decides to help restore polluted wetlands of the bay which covers a lager area. The proposal seems reasonable; however, actually it suffers several critical flaws that make it less persuasive. Firstly, the recommendation relies on an unwarranted assumption that increasing the capacity would eventually solve the problem of flight delays in the airport. However, the author offer no detailed description and analysis to explain what causes the flight delays actually. Maybe it is the poor management or communication system in the airport that causes the problem,while it is more likely that the capacity is already enough for its maximum passengers.If there is more adequate evidences, the author  cannot convince me that the filling bay plan will actually solve the problem in the airport. Secondly, the author unfairly assumes that the environment loss due to the filling plan could be made up by funding the restoration of the wetlands on the bay. It is true that the wetlands covers a larger area, but it's common sense that different areas have different values in environment. Perhaps there are some endangered sea animals live the sea near the bay and the filling plan will destroy their habitat. Can we expect the sea animals to move to the wetlands for a new life? Moreover, it is always easier to damage than to restore. Although people may gain some short-term interests, however, it may cost much more expenses for people to restore the polluted area in the future. In addition, even if I concede that the restoration would help ensuring the bay's environment, there is no sufficient evidence to ensure the restoration would be successful eventually. It is common sense that recovering an area with serious pollutions calls for not only a great deal of money, but also high technologies and lots of human resources. Could the airport's funding alone guarantee that the wetlands be restored back to what it used to be? It's difficult to say so. What's more, the proposal doesn't mention how much money would be spent for the restoring project. If the project needs much more money than the airports could bear, or the expense exceeds the profits the airport gained from the filling plan, will the airport continues to fund the restoring project?   To sum up, the proposal fails to support the recommendation adequately. Before starting the filling project, it is better to find out what is the rally cause for the fight delay in the airport and whether more land is necessary and helpful to solve the problem. Moreover, a careful and full evaluation about the affection of the filling plan and the restoring project is needed. Anyhow, a hasty recommendation will not help to solve the current problems, but also lead to new ones.

4# ianking7368