=七月流火=小组第2次小组作业 A4 by lghscu

lghscuUID: 2552043

TOPIC: ARGUMENT4 - The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.

"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town-Adams Realty and Fitch Realty-Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
WORDS: 532

TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-8-21 20:32:15

The argument presented above for arguing that those hoping to have a quicker and better sale of homes should choose the superior Adams Realty when compared with Fitch Realty, based on the circumstances such as Adams' large number of real estate agents, more revenue and the average price, and the author's own experience, seems plausible. However, the author's conclusion might be not so much logical when the following facets are considered.

It is possible that having more estate agents does not mean a higher efficiency of work. For example, it might be the case that the task, done by every employee in Fitch Realty, is larger than the corresponding one in Adams Realty. If it is true, Fitch Realty is more superior than Adams Realty when considering this factor, even if many of its works are part-time employees. Moreover, there is no information concerning the number of part-time workers in Adams Realty. Maybe the relative number of those working part-time to the whole number of employees in Adams Realty is higher. Therefore, the author's claim that Adams Realty is superior than Fitch Realty might be suspecious.

Another important thing to consider is the income of the two realties last year. The author fails to provide any statistics about the income for more than one year. It is possible that Adam's revenue of previous year is occasionally higher than the one of Fitch Realty in that it might not be the case for the rest years. In addition, the average price of home sales might also be controversial. In that, it is possible that only a few of the homes sold by Adams Realty might be of relatively higher price, that is, these prices are far more higher than the average. However, some of prices of Fitch Realty are far more lower than the average. Therefore, the overall average price of Fitch Realty is relatively low as compared to the one of Adams Realty. Only if the author provides some detailed evidence respecting to the revenue and price, can the argument be convincing.

In addition, the author fails to recognize some essential sparities of the two homes sold at different times. First of all, it is possible that the quality of the home sold by Adams Realty might be better than that of Fitch Realty, which is of central importance when selling a house. Secondly, the economic conditions might change greatly. In another word, people were unable to buy the desired home due to lack of money ten years ago. But last year, the situation was completely different. The fact that they had enough money and were willing to buy houses contributed to a relatively faster selling. Therefore, without ruling out such alternative explanations, the author cannot rely on his or her own experience to support the claim.

based on the discussions above, the author lends little credible support to the conclusion that Adams Realty is excellent than Fitch Realty and would sell houses more quickly at a higher price. Unless the author gives information about the efficiency of the two realties, statistics about the profit made by average worker, and the difference between the homes sold this argument would not be sufficiently convincing.

maggiegu1019UID: 2683879

:)我下午过来拍，

maggiegu1019UID: 2683879

The argument presented above for arguing that those hoping to have a quicker and better sale of homes should choose the superior Adams Realty when compared with Fitch Realty, based on the circumstances such as Adams' large number of real estate agents, more revenue and the average price, and the author's own experience, seems plausible. However, the author's conclusion might be not so much logical when the following facets are considered.

It is possible that having more estate agents does not mean a higher efficiency of work. For example, it might be the case that the task, done by every employee in Fitch Realty, is larger than the corresponding one in Adams Realty. If it is true, Fitch Realty is more superior than Adams Realty when considering this factor, even if many of its works are part-time employees. Moreover, there is no information concerning the number of part-time workers in Adams Realty. Maybe the relative number of those working part-time to the whole number of employees in Adams Realty is higher.（The proportion of employees who are working a part time job in Adams Realty is higher.） Therefore, the author's claim that Adams Realty is superior than Fitch Realty might be suspecious.(总结性语句，好，学习了)

Another important thing to consider is the income of the two realties last year. The author fails to provide any statistics about the income for more than one year. It is possible that Adam's revenue of previous year is occasionally higher than the one of Fitch Realty in that it might not be the case for the rest years. In addition, the average price of home sales might also be controversial. In that, it is possible that only a few of the homes sold by Adams Realty might be of relatively higher price, that is, these prices are far more higher than the average. However, some of prices of Fitch Realty are far more lower than the average. Therefore, the overall average price of Fitch Realty is relatively low as compared to the one of Adams Realty. Only if the author provides some detailed evidence respecting to the revenue and price, can the argument be convincing.

In addition, the author fails to recognize some essential sparities of the two homes sold at different times. First of all, it is possible that the quality of the home sold by Adams Realty might be better than that of Fitch Realty, which is of central importance when selling a house. Secondly, the economic conditions might change greatly. In another word, people were unable to buy the home desired due to lacking of money ten years ago. But last year, the situation was completely different. The fact that they had enough money and were willing to buy houses contributed to a relatively faster selling. Therefore, without ruling out such alternative explanations, the author cannot rely on his or her own experience to support the claim.

based on the discussions above, the author lends little credible support to the conclusion that Adams Realty is excellent than Fitch Realty and would sell houses more quickly at a higher price. Unless the author gives information about the efficiency of the two realties, statistics about the profit made by average worker, and the difference between the homes sold this argument would not be sufficiently convincing.

maggiegu1019UID: 2683879

你写的很好了，我觉得没啥好改的，到时有很多要我学的地方，我用新东方老师模板用的很郁闷，有些问题根本无法归类，我今天顿悟，模板这东西，差不多就得了，还是写细节吧，就套那模板套的，我这篇写的要多难受又多难受

dongzhi428UID: 2556730

TOPIC: ARGUMENT4 - The following was posted on an Internet real estate discussion site.

"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town-Adams Realty and Fitch Realty-Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time. Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000. Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month. Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
WORDS: 532

TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2009-8-21 20:32:15

The argument presented above for arguing that those hoping to have a quicker and better sale of homes should choose the superior Adams Realty when compared with Fitch Realty, based on the circumstances such as Adams' large number of real estate agents, more revenue and the average price, and the author's own experience, seems plausible. However, the author's conclusion might be not so much logical when the following facets are considered.

(The evidence it cites is consistent with the alternative hypothesis that…)It is possible that having more estate agents does not mean a higher efficiency of work. For example, it might be the case that the task, done by every employee in Fitch Realty, is larger换个词~ than the corresponding one in Adams Realty. If it is true, Fitch Realty is more superior to Adams Realty when considering this factor, even if many of its workers are part-time employees. (前面说的是人数上的对比,假如单个人做的多那么哪怕人少也无妨，没有提到part-time的问题.而且论证的不够充分,我解释起来有些困难,就参考我的翻译看下逻辑缺陷把)[如果F每一个员工都做得比A相对的员工多,如果这是真的,即使F许多是PRAT TIME,也比A要好一些:1.要说明F这些员工比A所有员工做的要多 而不是个体比较2.即使多是P-T,F的员工还是比A做得多,这样假设,结论才成立.简单的说读起来有点像是用结论推原因了.] Moreover, there is no information concerning the number of part-time workers in Adams Realty. Maybe the relative number of those working part-time to the whole number of employees in Adams Realty is higher. Therefore, the author's claim that Adams Realty is superior to Fitch Realty might be suspicious.

Another important thing to consider is the income of the two realties last year. The author fails to provide any statistics about the income for more than one year. It is possible that Adam's revenue of previous year is occasionally higher than the one of Fitch Realty in that it might not be the case for the rest years. In addition, the average price of home sales might also be controversial. In that, it is possible that only a few of the homes sold by Adams Realty might be of relatively higher price, that is, these prices are far higher than the average. However, some of prices of Fitch Realty are far lower than the average. (重复)Therefore, the overall average price of Fitch Realty is relatively low as compared to the one of Adams Realty. (这一段有点感觉在绕来绕去,建议再清晰明了一些,直入逻辑错误点,因为字数已经完全够多了)Only if the author provides some detailed evidence respecting to the revenue and price, can the argument be convincing.

In addition, the author fails to recognize some essential sparities? of the two homes sold at different times. First of all, it is possible that the quality of the home sold by Adams Realty might be better than that of Fitch Realty, which is of central importance when selling a house. Secondly, the economic conditions might change greatly. In another word, people were unable to buy the desired home due to lack of money ten years ago. But last year, the situation was completely different. (觉得不要太过明确的假设,可以说maybe 近些年来来)The fact that they had enough money and were willing to buy houses contributed to a relatively faster selling. Therefore, without ruling out such alternative explanations, the author cannot rely on his or her own experience to support the claim.

Based on the discussions above, the author lends little credible support to the conclusion that Adams Realty is excellent than Fitch Realty and would sell houses more quickly at a higher price. Unless the author gives information about the efficiency of the two realties, statistics about the profit made by average worker, and the difference between the homes sold this argument would not be sufficiently convincing.

羡慕你的速度哈哈~ 继续加油,语法问题不大,因此有时间可以提高一下文采.
论述上稍微有些罗嗦(直言ing),可适当简略因为例子和字数足够了.