Issue154 【CSMY作文互改小组】第一次作业

solohanUID: 2279589

"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."
限时写的，很不理想。修改得也比较匆忙，之后还是觉得不严密。不知道这题应该如何入手比较好。且缺乏例子
大家用力拍吧，我承受地住。
The speaker definitely reveals the roles that the whole society plays in education. I strongly agree with the view that education deserves involvement of parents and communities as well as professional educators. An intact education includes the concern of the parents, the support from the communities, the qualified teaching in schools and the communication among all three of them.
It is said that parents are the first teacher of children; the importance of the parents in education is evident. Firstly, the parents are so close to the children that they can easily discover the kids’ interests and need. They can create conditions in home for develop kids’ potential, such as music, painting, reading, chess, etc. which could not be satisfied in the school with limited resources. Secondly, the parents could offer encourage and confidence to the children when they are frustrated in schools.
Since socialists and psychologist have proved that environment has curial effect on individual development, the importance of the communities which provide an ecological and social environment for the children is also definite. First, the safety in a community is the prerequisites. If there is noise, disturbance, how a child could focus on the study? Second, the community is a micro-society, where the children have to deal with social relationship and encounter moral justification. The community thus is a natural scene for children to develop social skills and a sense of discipline and morality.   
Of course, the emphasis in the school is learning in the classroom. That calls for teachers who have sense of responsibility and have experience and are skillful in teaching. The time for children in the schools may take up the most part of their days, so the school should have a systematic and scientific system to arrange the teaching program. They take the accountability to impose fundamental knowledge on children and cultivate them in various aspects.
The importance of parents, community and schools are equal; however, the isolate operation for any one of them is lack of efficiency. Without communication among them, they may lose the comprehensive understanding on the children, and even worse, confuse the children in some way. The kids may display different characteristics in school and in home. Without information communicated between teachers and parents, they may ignore the underlying problems. But if parents and teachers exchange ideas, they may look for the reason why the child behave like this and help he or she to build a more coherent personality. It is similar between community and schools. With communication between the two, the school can give suggestions to the community on how to propagandize the moral behavior. Reversely, the community can supply the school with opportunities for social participants.  
In sum, for education is related to the progress of our society, it is a obligatory for everyone and organization to pay attention to the children. Education is a team work, which needs the participant from parents and communities as well as schools.

nannanwsUID: 2284587

The speaker definitely reveals the roles that the whole society plays in education. I strongly agree with the view that education deserves involvement of parents and communities as well as professional educators. An intact education includes the concern of the parents, the support from the communities, the qualified teaching in schools and the communication among all three of them.
It is said that parents are the first teacher of children; the importance of the parents in education is evident. Firstly, the parents are so close to the children that they can easily discover the kids’ interests and need. They can create conditions in home for develop 动词ing形式? kids’ potential, such as music, painting, reading, chess, etc. which could not be satisfied in the school with limited resources. Secondly, the parents could offer encourage and confidence to the children when they are frustrated in schools.

Since socialists这个好象是社会主义者的意思,猜想是要用社会学家吧sociologist and psychologist have proved that environment has a curial effect on individual development, the importance of the communities which provide an ecological and social environment for the children is also definite. First, the safety in a community is the prerequisites. If there is noise, disturbance, how a child could focus on the study? Second, the community is a micro-society, where the children have to deal with social relationship and encounter moral justification. The community thus is a natural scene for children to develop social skills and a sense of discipline and morality.  

Of course, the emphasis in the school is learning in the classroom. That calls for teachers who have sense of responsibility and have experience and are skillful in teaching.这句的结构?可以这样写么 The time for children in the schools may take up the most part of their days, so the school should have a systematic and scientific system to arrange the teaching program. They take the accountability to impose fundamental knowledge on children and cultivate them in various aspects.

The importance of parents, community and schools are equal; however, the isolate operation for any one of them is lack of efficiency. Without communication among them, they may lose the comprehensive understanding on the children, and even worse, confuse the children in some way. The kids may display different characteristics in school and in home. Without information communicated between teachers and parents, they may ignore the underlying problems. But if parents and teachers exchange ideas, they may look for the reason why the child behave like this and help he or she to build a more coherent personality. It is similar between community and schools. With communication between the two, the school can give suggestions to the community on how to propagandize the moral behavior. Reversely, the community can supply the school with opportunities for social participants.这个原因好  

In sum, for education is related to the progress of our society, it is a obligatory for everyone and organization to pay attention to the children. Education is a team work, which needs the participant from parents and communities as well as schools.

偶觉得写的还是不错的,中规中矩的,挺有说服力的.
结构上,写到家庭的作用,社会/社团的作用,学校的作用.然后是三者之间的结合问题.挺清晰
有两点,也是出现在我的写作过程中.
1.        大家都在提要有例子,像这样的已经觉得比较丰满了,是否还要加例子?
2.        具体到本题,community到底做什么解,社团?社会?这个的问题上不是很明确