issue51 恳请拍砖，有拍必回。

bluexilegtUID: 2262692

issue51:
Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student.
提纲：
1．   根据学生个人需求和兴趣专门设计的教育，从某些方面来讲确实能够提高教育的效率。因材施教也是一部分教育工作者的理想。
2．  但是，教育的完全按照个人的需要和兴趣进行的话，有些必要的东西学生可能会选择不去了解，教育的目的难以完全达到，这样的教育不会很有效率。
3．  教育应该是教人知识以及如何和人相处的，如果每个人都完全从自己的角度出发学习，教育有可能是单独进行的，这样培养的人才不具有合作精神。教育的效果难以达到，效率也就无从谈起。
4．  教育也需要管理和监督，如果按照题目的说法，监督起来将很没效率。

How can we make education effective? The speaker claims that only when it’s devised to satisfy the personal needs and interests of each student can we achieve this. I concede that interest can promote studying. However, in my opinion, Education designed to meet every student’ demand isn’t truly effective.

I admit that one can learn fast when he’s stuck in the topic. For supporting examples one need look no further than people around. When it comes to his interested field, he will do his best to learn excited, while he progresses tardily in things not meeting his taste. Also, individual education is the ideal style of some teaching staff. Otherwise, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker's claim. I think individual educating can’t bring better effect in general, what’s more, it may even make education failing.

To every student, all-sided elementary knowledge is necessary, and the purpose of education is to provide general knowledge background. If the education system is specifically designed, students may only choose the courses attracting while ignore the others important but they thought boring. Without all-round necessary knowledge one can not develop successfully and make good use of his potential. As we known, education should develop potential abilities and the purpose of education is to provide all-sided knowledge background. Education specially devised deviates from this obviously, and we won’t even achieve effectiveness.

Additionally, students should know how to corporate with each other in education system, but if personal studying comes true, maybe one will study alone just for his own interest. We can imagine that these student educated individual can’t work with each other when they in later practice. In my view, education system should students work together to cultivate their team spirit when necessary. While it may be true that sometimes people can learn more when they can think independently. I insist that working together sounds better particularly in practicing procedure.

Also, supervision is necessary in education system. Effective management can not come true when education is designed individually. When we want to know the education results, we need a fundamental similar system, so we can do the work effectively. So we can improve the system in time and make it better more seemly for students.

In sum, I concede that individual education can prove learning sometimes. Otherwise, in my view, it can not make educating effective. According, I disagree with the speaker fundamentally.


[ 本帖最后由 bluexilegt 于 2007-2-2 12:03 编辑 ]

nicaishibiantaiUID: 2259558

楼下的等我有时间再批你，先看了第一段，北美范文风格

bluexilegtUID: 2262692

HTX!!
:funk: 高人眼光犀利～～确实是这样子。。。

[ 本帖最后由 bluexilegt 于 2007-2-3 11:10 编辑 ]

nicaishibiantaiUID: 2259558

How can we make education effective? The speaker claims that only when it’s devised to satisfy the personal needs and interests of each student can we achieve this. I concede that interest can promote studying. However, in my opinion, Education designed to meet every student’ demand isn’t truly effective.

I admit that one can learn fast when he’s stuck in the topic. For supporting examples one need look no further than people around. When it comes to his or her(以表学术,下同) interested field, he will do his best to learn excitedly, while he progresses tardily in things not meeting his taste. Also, individual education is the ideal style of some teaching staff(supporting evidence?).Otherwise, I fundamentally disagree with the speaker's claim. I think individual educating can’t bring better effect in general, what’s more, it may even make education failing.

To every student, all-sided elementary knowledge is necessary, and the purpose of education is to provide general knowledge background. If the education system is specifically designed, students may only choose the courses attracting while ignoreing the others important but they thought boring. Without all-round necessary knowledge one can not develop successfully and make good use of his potential. As we known, education should develop potential abilities and the purpose of education is to provide all-sided knowledge background. Education specially devised deviates from this obviously, and we won’t even achieve effectiveness.

Additionally, students should know how to corporate with each other in education system, but if personal studying comes true, maybe one will study alone just for his own interest. We can imagine that these student educated individual can’t work with each other when they in later practice. In my view(不应该出现这样的论调), education system should students work together to cultivate their team spirit when necessary. While it may be true that sometimes people can learn more when they can think independently. I insist that working together sounds better particularly in practicing procedure.

Also, supervision is necessary in education system. Effective management can not come true when education is designed individually. When we want to know the education results, we need a fundamental similar system, so we can do the work effectively. So we can improve the system in time and make it better more seemly for students.

In sum, I concede that individual education can prove learning sometimes. Otherwise, in my view, it can not make educating effective. According, I disagree with the speaker fundamentally.
好的方面，论点还是明确的.但是每段似乎展开的都很另人费解，不够充分.还有语言有点单调.
个人意见，也是刚刚开始写没什么经验