ARGUMENT38 [Victors]小组第六次作业 by jennetrj

jennetrjUID: 2275453

38. The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

50min 722 words


In this argument, the author recommends people in West Meria to take Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement containing fish oil, to prevent colds and thus lower the absenteeism. To justify this recommendation, the author cites a study held in nearby East Meria, the place where large amount of fish are consumed, which indicated low visit to the doctor for the treatment of cold. Moreover, the author points out that colds is the most frequent reason for absences from school and work. At first glance, the argument seems to be somehow plausible, but close scrutiny reveals several flaws in it.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that people in East Meria suffer less from cold since the study reports once or twice visits to the doctor annually for the treatment of colds. There's no evidence provided in the passage to support it. Common sense informs us that most colds could be recovered by taking OCT pills, such as Tynlone, staying bed and having more water. Or maybe people in East Meria would not like to go to the hospital even with severe symptoms since there's only one clinic around the region and it is always packed with patients. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the assumption that residents in East Meria have less colds.

If East Meria residents seldom catch cold and fish consumption there is extremely high, no promise could be made that eating large amount of fish should be the reason for the low incidence of cold. First, high consumption of fish doesn't necessarily mean people in East Meria eat lots of fish. Perhaps East Meria is well-known for its beautiful beaches, sunshine and a good place for surfing so that thousands of people come here to have their vacation and take lots of seafood, including fish. Or perhaps there's a large food company here processing fish for export. Besides, if local people do eat lots of fish, the author fails to rule out other possible reasons that might decrease cold incidence, such as the pleasant weather, sufficient sunshine and even people's invulnerability to colds. Author's failure to establish the causal relationship between substantial amounts of fish consumption and less colds incidence renders the recommendation based on it highly suspect.

Even assuming that fish eating would prevent people in East Meria from catching cold, the author hastily concludes that the same thing will happen in West Meria. Obviously this is not exactly the case. Perhaps West Meria residents are highly sensitive to rhinoviruses which induce colds, or maybe most of them are even allergic to fish. Furthermore, whether Ichthaid, supplement derived from fish oil, has the similar effect in preventing colds still remains to be a question. Perhaps other elements contained in fish attributes to such marvelous effects, or maybe some intergradient used in preparing dishes of fish activate the potential effective elements which engenders people to be less vulnerable to colds. Until the author completes the analysis, the recommendation to take Ichthaid so as to prevent colds could not be taken seriously.

Finally, the author alleges that if people get less colds absenteeism in school and work would drop since the earlier one is the main cause for the absence. Although less absence could be induced by colds, no warrant could be made that general absence would decrease. Maybe people would be more severely ill for other reasons which keep them away from studying and working. For instance, there might be epidemic measles around schools or infectious pneumonia in the city so that most residents have to leave their class, workplace or even flee out of the town.

In sum, the argument is groundless as it stands. To consolidate it, the author should provide more evidence--maybe by more clinical data base--to show that the real incidence is pretty low among residents in East Meria. In addition, the author should rule out other relating possibilities which might enable people in East Meria to be less vulnerable to colds and establish the causal relationship between fish-eating and less cold. To better assess the argument, we need to know if fish oil is the effective elements in fish which protects people from getting cold and whether people in West Meria could really beat up colds and lower the absenteeism after taking Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement derived from fish oil.

solartorchUID: 2244205

In this argument, the author recommends people in West Meria to take Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement containing fish oil, to prevent colds and thus lower the absenteeism. To justify this recommendation, the author cites a study held in nearby East Meria, the place where large amount of fish are consumed, which indicated low visit to the doctor for the treatment of cold. Moreover, the author points out that colds is the most frequent reason for absences from school and work. At first glance, the argument seems to be somehow plausible, but close scrutiny reveals several flaws in it.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that people in East Meria suffer less from cold since the study reports once or twice visits to the doctor annually for the treatment of colds. There's no evidence provided in the passage to support it. Common sense informs us that most colds could be recovered by taking OCT pills, OCT pills是什么东东，Tynlone又是什么东东。。such as Tynlone, staying bed and having more water. Or maybe people in East Meria would not like to go to the hospital even with severe symptoms since there's only one clinic around the region and it is always packed with patients. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the assumption that residents in East Meria have less colds.

这边用even if让步是不是更好些If East Meria residents seldom catch cold and fish consumption there is extremely high, no promise could be made that eating large amount of fish should be the reason for the low incidence of cold. First, high consumption of fish doesn't necessarily mean people in East Meria eat lots of fish. Perhaps East Meria is well-known for its beautiful beaches, sunshine and a good place for surfing so that thousands of people come here to have their vacation and take lots of seafood, including fish. Or perhaps there's a large food company here processing fish for export. Besides, if local people do eat lots of fish, the author fails to rule out other possible reasons that might decrease cold incidence, such as the pleasant weather, sufficient sunshine and even people's invulnerability to colds. Author's failure to establish the causal relationship between substantial amounts of fish consumption and less colds incidence renders the recommendation based on it highly suspect.

Even assuming that fish eating would prevent people in East Meria from catching cold, the author hastily concludes that the same thing will happen in West Meria. Obviously this is not exactly the case. Perhaps West Meria residents are highly sensitive to rhinoviruses which induces colds, or maybe most of them are even allergic to fish. 下面这个futhermore仿佛有点偏出了中心句Furthermore, whether Ichthaid, supplement derived from fish oil, has the similar effect in preventing colds still remains to be a question. Perhaps other elements contained in fish attributes attribute的用法貌似不对to such marvelous effects, or maybe some intergradient used in preparing dishes of fish activate the potential effective elements which engenders people to be less vulnerable to colds. Until the author completes the analysis, the recommendation to take Ichthaid so as to prevent colds could not be taken seriously.

Finally, the author alleges that if people get less colds absenteeism in school and work would drop since the earlier one is the main cause for the absence. Although less absence could be induced by colds, no warrant could be made that general absence would decrease. Maybe people would be more severely ill for other reasons which keep them away from studying and working. For instance, there might be epidemic measles around schools or infectious pneumonia in the city so that most residents have to leave their class, workplace or even flee out of the town. 这段论证稍稍有点牵强

In sum, the argument is groundless as it stands. To consolidate it, the author should provide more evidence--maybe by more clinical data base--to show that the real incidence is pretty low among residents in East Meria. In addition, the author should rule out other relating possibilities which might enable people in East Meria to be less vulnerable to colds and establish the causal relationship between fish-eating and less cold. To better assess the argument, we need to know if fish oil is the effective elements in fish which protects people from getting cold and whether people in West Meria could really beat up colds and lower the absenteeism after taking Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement derived from fish oil.

总结一下，楼主的argument写得真是炉火纯青了:)

H-KevinUID: 2182070

原帖由 jennetrj 于 2007-5-26 09:34 发表
38. The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

50min 722 words


In this argument, the author recommends people in West Meria to take Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement containing fish oil, to prevent colds and thus lower the absenteeism. To justify this recommendation, the author cites a study held in nearby East Meria, the place where large amount of fish are consumed, which indicated low visit to the doctor for the treatment of cold.（这个两个句子挺流畅的，向你学习） Moreover, the author points out that colds is the most frequent reason for absences from school and work. At first glance, the argument seems to be somehow plausible, but close scrutiny reveals several flaws in it.

To begin with, the author unfairly assumes that people in East Meria suffer less from cold since the study reports once or twice visits to the doctor annually for the treatment of colds. There's no evidence provided in the passage to support it. Common sense informs us that most colds could be recovered by taking OCT pills（OTC是英文Over The Counter非处方药，第一次使用最好还是标注一下全称）, such as Tynlone（Tylenol Cold Tablets，最好作一下注释）, staying bed and having more water. Or maybe people in East Meria would not like to go to the hospital even with severe symptoms since there's only one clinic around the region and it is always packed with patients. Either scenario, if true, would serve to undermine the assumption that residents in East Meria have less colds.

If East Meria residents seldom catch cold and fish consumption there is extremely high, no promise could be made that eating large amount of fish should be（是不是could be 好一点？） the reason for the low incidence of cold. First, high consumption of fish doesn't necessarily mean people in East Meria eat lots of fish. Perhaps East Meria is well-known for its beautiful beaches, sunshine and a good place for surfing so that thousands of people come here to have their vacation and take lots of seafood, including fish.（我觉得这个理由比较牵强） Or perhaps there's a large food company here processing fish for export. Besides, if local people do eat lots of fish, the author fails to rule out other possible reasons that might decrease cold incidence, such as the pleasant weather, sufficient sunshine and even people's invulnerability to colds. Author's failure to establish the causal relationship between substantial amounts of fish consumption and less colds incidence renders the recommendation based on it highly suspect.

Even assuming that fish eating would prevent people in East Meria from catching cold, the author hastily concludes that the same thing will happen in West Meria. Obviously this is not exactly the case. Perhaps West Meria residents are highly sensitive to rhinoviruses（是什么意思？） which induce colds, or maybe most of them are even allergic to fish（假设过于假设而不客观，我觉得）. Furthermore, whether Ichthaid, supplement derived from fish oil, has the similar effect in preventing colds still remains to be a question. Perhaps other elements contained in fish attributes to such marvelous effects, or maybe some intergradient used in preparing dishes of fish activate the potential effective elements which engenders people to be less vulnerable to colds. Until the author completes the analysis, the recommendation to take Ichthaid so as to prevent colds could not be taken seriously.（LZ  的逻辑错误找的比较全）

Finally, the author alleges that if people get less colds absenteeism in school and work would drop since the earlier（为什么是earlier one，因该有相对才会这么说） one is the main cause for the absence. Although less absence could be induced by colds, no warrant could be made that general absence would decrease.(这个地方可以举很多更好的例子) Maybe people would be more severely ill for other reasons which keep them away from studying and working. For instance, there might be epidemic measles around schools or infectious pneumonia in the city so that most residents have to leave their class, workplace or even flee out of the town.

In sum, the argument is groundless as it stands. To consolidate it, the author should provide more evidence--maybe by more clinical data base--to show that the real incidence is pretty low among residents in East Meria. In addition, the author should rule out other relating possibilities which might enable people in East Meria to be less vulnerable to colds and establish the causal relationship between fish-eating and less cold. To better assess the argument, we need to know if fish oil is the effective elements in fish which protects people from getting cold and whether people in West Meria could really beat up colds and lower the absenteeism after taking Ichthaid, the nutritional supplement derived from fish oil.

LZ 的作文写的很好的，句子结构，措辞都很值得我学习