argument45 【07-10G superstar大帖】第七次作业 by sosoxiaoyan

sosoxiaoyanUID: 2194648

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In this editorial, the author concludes that the decline in arctic deer populations is attributed by deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, which is the necessary result of recent global warming trends. To support this conclusion, the author points out the living style of arctic deer in Canada's arctic region, besides, the author cites the reports of declining deer population from local hunters. The last evidence is that it coincides with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. The argument seems well presented; however, scrutiny of it reveals that it contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.

Firstly of all, lacking the information of how the report is concluded by local hunter, the conclusion of the reports is too vague to be informative. Why do the local hunters say the deer population is declining? Is there any data or reasoning as evidence to substantiate this claim? Are these evidences true? Perhaps it is just because local hunters can not hunt as many deer as before so they conclude there are less deer. However, perhaps it is an excuse for their decreasing hunting skills. It is also possible that deer begin to escape from the former habitat because of force from local hunters. It is understandable that deer are also strives to make a life in arctic region by escaping hunters.  

Secondly, even if the declining of deer populations is true, the argument unreasonably assumed that the simultaneous global warming trend causes the decreasing of deer populations. Without any deep investigation with the living environment of arctic deer, this assumption is obviously unconvincing. There are probably other alternatives contributing to the reduction of deer population. For example, it is possible that the arctic region is polluted by human-being who come arctic for exploration or traveling so that it is not suitable for deer to survive anymore. Or perhaps for some reasons natural enemies of deer or competition species of deer for food and habitat thrives in  that islands. In short, the author fails to rule out other possible alternatives and fails to establish a successful causal relationship.

Finally, the author fails take into account the complexity of the influence of global warming, the declining of deer population is not necessary the result of being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. There are numerous potential effect of global warming to the arctic region. For example, the global warming not only causes ice to melt in arctic region but make the weather warmer that is conducive to the growing of plants, thus, while deer can not follow their age-old migration patterns, they benefit from more available food at the same time. Furthermore, the change of temperature in arctic region may result in the activity of more bacterium and bring new diseases to indigenous deer. In this case, the number of deer will been highly cut. In sum, the author should examine many other possible negative or positive results brought by global warming in that region.

To sum up, the reasoning behind the argument is not as persuasive as it stands, before any ultimate conclusion is reached, the author should make a further investigation about reliability of the reports, supply more evidence to establish a convincing relationship between the number of deer and global warming, and considering the possible consequence that brought to Canada’s arctic region by global warming.

laura001UID: 2295927

In this editorial, the author concludes that the decline in arctic deer populations is attributed by deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea, which is the necessary result of recent global warming trends. To support this conclusion, the author points out the living style of arctic deer in Canada's arctic region, besides, the author cites the reports of declining deer population from local hunters. The last evidence is that it coincides with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt. The argument seems well presented; however, scrutiny of it reveals that it contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.


Firstly of all, lacking the information of how the report is concluded by local hunter(+S), the conclusion of the reports is too vague to be informative. Why do the local hunters say the deer population is declining? Is there any data or reasoning as evidence to substantiate this claim? Are these evidences true? Perhaps it is just because local hunters can not hunt as many deer as before so they conclude there are less deer. However, perhaps it is an excuse for their decreasing hunting skills. It is also possible that deer begin to escape from the former habitat because of force from local hunters. It is understandable that deer are also strives to make a life in arctic region by escaping hunters.  

Secondly, even if the declining of deer populations is true, the argument unreasonably assumed that the simultaneous global warming trend causes the decreasing of deer populations. Without any deep investigation with the living environment of arctic deer, this assumption is obviously unconvincing. There are probably other alternatives contributing to the reduction of deer population. For example, it is possible that the arctic region is polluted by human-being who come arctic for exploration or traveling so that it is not suitable for deer to survive anymore. Or perhaps for some reasons natural enemies of deer or competition species of deer for food and habitat thrives in  that islands. In short, the author fails to rule out other possible alternatives and fails to establish a successful causal relationship.


Finally, the author fails (to) take into account the complexity of the influence of global warming, the declining of deer population is not necessary the result of being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. There are numerous potential effect of global warming to the arctic region. For example, the global warming not only causes ice to melt in arctic region but make the weather warmer that is conducive to the growing of plants, thus, while deer can not follow their age-old migration patterns, they benefit from more available food at the same time. Furthermore, the change of temperature in arctic region may result in the activity of more bacterium and bring new diseases to indigenous deer.(这个不就是同意了作者的观点了,全球暖化导致鹿变少) In this case, the number of deer will been highly cut. In sum, the author should examine many other possible negative or positive results brought by global warming in that region.

To sum up, the reasoning behind the argument is not as persuasive as it stands, before any ultimate conclusion is reached, the author should make a further investigation about reliability of the reports, supply more evidence to establish a convincing relationship between the number of deer and global warming, and considering the possible consequence that brought to Canada’s arctic region by global warming.
(后面半句是因,只有考虑了暖化问题可以带来的结果,才能推出果----暖化是导致鹿的唯一的原因,    前后2句不是并列关系)


总结:主要错误都找到了. 写的也好不错.   作者论述的就是全球暖化导致了鹿少了,划线那句是同意作者观点了,并不是批驳他的观点.


[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-6-19 02:17 编辑 ]

speaklessUID: 2205899

都这么晚睡...撑不住了..弄完就睡....

DemoUID: 2331967

Laura在改作文吗? @@
怎么觉得你贴的和LZ的没什么区别...|||

laura001UID: 2295927

我先贴,然后在编辑修改啊...|||

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-6-19 01:41 编辑 ]

DemoUID: 2331967

呵呵..
建议大家贴习作的时候都把题目贴出来
别人帮改的时候也方便些

sosoxiaoyanUID: 2194648

thanks a lot