Argumnet51 【07-10G Superstar大帖】7.28作文

desirermimiUID: 2108321

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."

WORDS: 483       TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 2007-7-29 0:29:39

In this argument, the author recommends that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To substantiate the recommendation, the author cites a study in which two groups of patients partiated that patients who take antibiotics would have a higher percentage of recuperation time than those donot. While this argument has some merits, it suffers from several critical problems.

Fistly, the author turns on the assumption that the patient who suffered from muscle strain would have secondary infections. However, there is no evidence offered to substantiate this assumption. It is entirely possible that the situation that those diagnosed from muscle strain must suffer from secondary infection does not happen very often. Moreover, the author indicates that the first groups of patients who took antibiotics would recover much more quickly than the second groups who didn't take, but fails to indicate that the two groups both suffered from secondary infections. Lacking more complete informationof, we cannot safely assume that hte relationship between effects of antibiotics and risk of secindary infection.

Secondly, it's highly doubtful that the analogy between the first group of patients and the second group is informative and suggestive as evidence. However, differences - such as patiens' age, sex and resistance and the doctors' knowledge, experience and treatment methods bewteen these two groups may far outaweigh the similarities, thus making the analogy highly suspect.It's entirely possoble that the first groups of patiens have better body conditions and more experienced doctor than the second group. Moreover, the sugar pills which were taken by the second group may have bad effect on the comeback. Possibilities such as these present unconquerable obstacles that prevent the first group from making a meaningful comparison with the second group.

In addtion, even assuming that the antibiotics does have positive effect on the recuperation of the muscle strain patients, the author's recommendation that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain had better to take antibiotics as part of their treatment raises one serious problem in itself. It's entirly possible that taking antibiotics may result in some side-effects such as allergy, reduce the resistance and physical qualities of patiens. Lacking detailed information about both positive and negatice impacts of antibiotics, the author's reckommendation cannot be taken seriously.

In sum, the author fails to validity the conclusion that all patients who are dignosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To Make it logically acceptable, the author should demonstrate the rationality of the statistics about the relationship between effects of antibiotics and risk of secondary infections and that the two groups can make a meaningful comparison. In addition, the auguer would have to provide more concrete evidence, especially the information concerning both positive and negative impacts of antibiotics, to rule out the abovementioned possibility that would demolish the author's claim.

[ 本帖最后由 desirermimi 于 2007-7-29 11:46 编辑 ]

huaxinluoboUID: 2326780

挑不出毛病来了，很有范文的感觉，赞一个

laura001UID: 2295927

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.


"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."



WORDS: 483       TIME: 01:00:00          DATE: 2007-7-29 0:29:39




In this argument, the author recommends that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To substantiate the recommendation, the author cites a study in which two groups of patients partiated that patients who take antibiotics would have a higher percentage of recuperation time than those donot. While this argument has some merits, it suffers from several critical problems.




Fistly,(拼写要注意哦) the author turns on the assumption that the patient who suffered from muscle strain would have secondary infections. However, there is no evidence offered to substantiate this assumption. It is entirely possible that the situation that those diagnosed from muscle strain must suffer from secondary infection does not happen very often. Moreover, the author indicates that the first groups of patients who took antibiotics would recover much more quickly than the second groups who didn't take, but fails to indicate that the two groups both suffered from secondary infections. Lacking more complete informationof, we cannot safely assume that hte relationship between effects of antibiotics and risk of secindary infection.




Secondly, it's highly doubtful that the analogy between the first group of patients and the second group is informative and suggestive as evidence. However, differences - such as patiens' age, sex and resistance and the doctors' knowledge, experience and treatment methods bewteen these two groups may far outaweigh the similarities, thus making the analogy highly suspect.It's entirely possoble that the first groups of patiens have better body conditions and more experienced doctor than the second group. Moreover, the sugar pills which were taken by the second group may have bad effect on the comeback. Possibilities such as these present unconquerable obstacles that prevent the first group from making a meaningful comparison with the second group.(划线的句子后,你还可以具体说明医生水平不一样可能导致结果也不一样,因为一个是综合医生,一个是专攻运动学的...可以说的详细点,而不要只说医生的知识和背景不一样;同样在说病人的年纪等不一样,可能结果也不一样时候,可以后面在补充具体点,比如说第1组好的快的原因可能是因为他们病人的年纪比较小,抵抗力好...不要多,就1-2句带过即可.)




In addtion, even assuming that the antibiotics does have positive effect on the recuperation of the muscle strain patients, the author's recommendation that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain had better to take antibiotics as part of their treatment raises one serious problem in itself. It's entirly possible that taking antibiotics may result in some side-effects such as allergy, reduce the resistance and physical qualities of patiens. Lacking detailed information about both positive and negatice impacts of antibiotics, the author's reckommendation(是这样写的吗?确定下) cannot be taken seriously.



In sum, the author fails to validity the conclusion that all patients who are dignosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To Make it logically acceptable, the author should demonstrate the rationality of the statistics about the relationship between effects of antibiotics and risk of secondary infections and that the two groups can make a meaningful comparison. In addition, the auguer would have to provide more concrete evidence, especially the information concerning both positive and negative impacts of antibiotics, to rule out the abovementioned possibility that would demolish the author's claim.


总结:总体上没有什么问题了,呵呵,找的错误很正确,写的也不错呢,加油哦,嘿嘿~

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-7-29 23:31 编辑 ]