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[i习作temp] Issue38 【07-10G Superstar大帖】7月30日作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-30 21:06:31 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 683        TIME: 01:40:00          DATE: 2007-7-30 19:26:26

The speaker contends that TV has the same effect on learning as books and people could achieve as much knowledge as reading books by watching television. In my observation and experience as a college student, I strongly disagree with the speaker's contention since in many aspects the books are superior to the television. Although there is some merits of watching television, it could not take reading's place in most cases.

To begin with, as the precious gift which our ancestors left for us, the books has become part and parcel of our everyday life, that is, they plays a crucial role in learning course because its inherent value. When comparing with television, we would find that reading books is a creation which is full of convenience -- such as portable schlep, cheap price, and knowledge depth. That is to say, we could read books for information and knowledge everywhere as long as we want to and what we should do is to take a book handy. On contrary, there may be many inevitably limitations in watching TV, including not only the electrical situation and cable connection but also the economy situation. It's maybe the case that in many districts lots of people are too poor to owning television or receive many channels, which will limit their information and knowledge if they rely on televisions as learning method. Take my own experience for example, when traveling to a remote village where lacks of television, it's the books that kept me achieving knowledge no matter waiting on bus stop or sitting on the table in villagers' home and what is I should do is to keep some space in my duffle bag for books. Obviously, the books plays much more important role in learning than television.

Secondly, when it comes to the professional knowledge learning, the books also serves as a necessary. Not only are the subject discipline and laws, which help the persons who want to study the subject fields professionally, systemic , but also the cheaper cost. Students who want to learn the laws of gravitation which found by Newton could find many relative books in library or bookstores freely, which would help them to understand where it comes from and how to use it if only they pay a little of money and delve into them. Yet, if someone want to study the laws of gravitation through television, he may encounter much trouble that there is not systemic relative-gravitation program but only simple introducing on television. Not only does producing programs about professional knowledge cost very high but also the viewer group is small, leading to the situation that no investor wants to produce such programs. In that case, the knowledge that students could receive from television is incomplete and filtered, which couldn't help students reach the deep ken.



Admittedly, nowadays, the television has a great deal of effect on our life to some extent, such as imparting and disseminating temporal ideas and events more rapidly than books.  Television not only makes the time between occurrence and publishing much shorter, it also plays an important role in conveying the vivid perception which would make the knowledge much easier understood that help people to achieve more information than the times before television has not been invented. For example, when a Severe Acute Respiratory syndrome [SARS] disease disaster came to South of China stealthily in 2002, thanks to the television, the news could be disseminated through nation widely and quickly and then people could do the precautions against SARS. However, television still suffer some inevitable limitation --such as passive reception, bad conservation effects and reliance on electricity, which obviously holds it back in learning knowledge.



In sum, to some extent, although television benefits people through the temporal events and vivid vision, those who just watch TV cannot reach the same ken depth as the the ones learn from books, which are still playing an important role in imparting knowledge, especially the professional knowledge. To achieve more useful information and a complete understanding, we should unite the television and the books as studying methods.

[ 本帖最后由 desirermimi 于 2007-7-30 21:11 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-7-30 23:47:23 |只看该作者
The speaker contends that TV has the same effect on learning as books and people could achieve as much knowledge as reading books by watching television. In my observation and experience as a college student, I strongly disagree with the speaker's contention since in many aspects the books are superior to the television. Although there is some merits of watching television, it could not take reading's place in most cases.

To begin with, as the precious gift which our ancestors left for us, the books has become part and parcel of our everyday life, that is, they plays a crucial role in learning course because its inherent value. [前两段的开头对应的不太好,如果是想横向展开的话,就应该提一下这一段是在什么条件下]When comparing[compared] with television, [前后主语不一致]we would  find that reading books is a creation which is full of convenience -- such as portable schlep, cheap price, and knowledge depth. That is to say, we could read books for information and knowledge everywhere as long as we want to and what we should do is to take a book handy. On contrary, there may be many inevitably limitations in watching TV, including not only the electrical situation and cable connection but also the economy situation. It's maybe the case that in many districts lots of people are too poor to owning[own a] television or receive [many] channels, which will limit their [attaining]information and knowledge if they rely on televisions as [the only]learning method. Take my own experience for example, when traveling to a remote village where[no TV is accessible] lacks of television, it's the books that kept me achieving[learning] knowledge no matter waiting on bus stop or sitting on the table in villagers' home and what [is] I should do is to keep some space in my duffle bag for books. Obviously, the books plays much more important role in learning than television.
Secondly, when it comes to the professional knowledge learning, [the] books also serves as a necessary[necessity ]. Not only are the subject discipline and laws, which help the persons who want to study the subject fields professionally, systemically , but also the cheaper cost. Students who want to learn the laws of gravitation which found by Newton could find many relative books in library or bookstores freely, which would help them to understand where it comes from and how to use it if only they pay a little of money and delve into them. Yet, if someone want to study the laws of gravitation through television, he may encounter much trouble that there is not systemic relative-gravitation program but only simple introducing on television.[有点啰嗦] Not only does producing programs about professional knowledge cost very high[much] but also the viewer group is small, leading to the situation that no investor wants to produce such programs. In that case, the knowledge that students could receive from television is incomplete and filtered, which couldn't help students reach the deep ken.


Admittedly, nowadays, the television has a great deal of effect on our life to some extent, such as imparting and disseminating temporal ideas and events more rapidly than books. [开头最好更直接点] Television not only makes the time between occurrence and publishing much shorter, it also plays an important role in conveying the vivid perception which would make the knowledge much easier understood that help people to achieve more information than the times before television has not been invented. For example, when a Severe Acute Respiratory syndrome [SARS] disease disaster came to South of China stealthily in 2002, thanks to the television, the news could be disseminated through nation widely and quickly and then people could do the precautions against SARS.[例子不是太恰当,知识和信息还是有区别的] However, television still suffer some inevitable limitation --such as passive reception, bad conservation effects and reliance on electricity, which obviously holds it back in learning knowledge.[后面这个没展开,也没必要展开了,这个意思前面已经提到了,干脆删掉好些]


In sum, to some extent, although television benefits people through the temporal events and vivid vision, those who just watch TV cannot reach the same ken depth as the the ones learn from books, which are still playing an important role in imparting knowledge, especially the professional knowledge. To achieve more useful information and a complete understanding, we should unite the television and the books as studying methods.

字数很多, 但这不一定就是优势。字数多了时间更紧张,反而影响了思路。语言很流畅,但有的地方有点啰嗦,压缩一下,到600字左右就差不多了。
另外提一点,这种题目中间应该始终贯穿一个’比’。
语法错误不多,有的词汇是亮点,我不认识,查了才知道,呵呵。
总体上看还不错,赞一个,加油!

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发表于 2007-7-31 17:54:19 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 683        TIME: 01:40:00          DATE: 2007-7-30 19:26:26

The speaker contends that TV has the same effect on learning as books and people could achieve as much knowledge as reading books by watching television. In my observation and experience as a college student, I strongly disagree with the speaker's contention since in many aspects the books are superior to the television. Although there is(are) some merits of watching television, it could not take reading's place in most cases.

To begin with, as the precious gift which our ancestors left for us, the books has (have)become part and parcel of our everyday life, that is, they plays a crucial role in learning course because its inherent value. When comparing with television, we would find that reading books is a creation which is full of convenience -- such as portable schlep, cheap price, and knowledge depth. (这个你后面没有阐述到,倒是下一段有提到了,那不应该出现在这段)That is to say, we could read books for information and knowledge everywhere as long as we want to and what we should do is to take a book handy. On contrary, there may be many inevitably limitations in watching TV, including not only the electrical situation and cable connection but also the economy situation. It's maybe the case that in many districts lots of people are too poor to owning television or receive many channels, which will limit their information and knowledge if they rely on televisions as learning method. Take my own experience for example, when traveling to a remote village where lacks of television,(我觉得既然2个做比较,就是要在2者都有的情况下比较,你怎么出现没电视的情况呢? 那这样还怎么比较? 或着你可以换个角度说,由于电视贵,不是大家都能拥有的...) it's the books that kept me achieving knowledge no matter waiting on bus stop or sitting on the table in villagers' home and what is I should do is to keep some space in my duffle bag for books. Obviously, the books plays much more important role in learning than television.

Secondly, when it comes to the professional knowledge learning, the books also serves as a necessary(名词要出来). Not only are the subject discipline and laws, which help the persons who want to study the subject fields professionally, systemic , but also the cheaper cost. Students who want to learn the laws of gravitation which found by Newton could find many relative books in library or bookstores freely, which would help them to understand where it comes from and how to use it if only they pay a little of money and delve into them. Yet, if someone want to study the laws of gravitation through television, he may encounter much trouble that there is not systemic relative-gravitation program but only simple introducing on television. Not only does producing programs about professional knowledge cost very high but also the viewer group is small, leading to the situation that no investor wants to produce such programs. In that case, the knowledge that students could receive from television is incomplete and filtered, which couldn't help students reach the deep ken.(只是个人意见,这个现在电视图文并茂,即使对于理解难懂理论,也是可以有帮助的, 个人觉得这不是很有说服力,仅供参考)

Admittedly, nowadays, the television has a great deal of effect on our life to some extent, such as imparting and disseminating temporal ideas and events more rapidly than books.  Television not only makes the time between occurrence and publishing much shorter, it also plays an important role in conveying the vivid perception which would make the knowledge much easier understood that help people to achieve more information than the times before television has not been invented. For example, when a Severe Acute Respiratory syndrome [SARS] disease disaster came to South of China stealthily in 2002, thanks to the television, the news could be disseminated through nation widely and quickly and then people could do the precautions against SARS. However, television still suffer some inevitable limitation --such as passive reception, bad conservation effects and reliance on electricity, which obviously holds it back in learning knowledge.这段你是说电视的好处,就最好别先电视的局限性, 如果要写,可以把这个放在前2段(也就是你写书比电视好的地方),不要出现在这段.

In sum, to some extent, although television benefits people through the temporal events and vivid vision, those who just watch TV cannot reach the same ken depth as the the ones learn from books, which are still playing an important role in imparting knowledge, especially the professional knowledge. To achieve more useful information and a complete understanding, we should unite the television and the books as studying methods.

总体上还是不错,电视在学习上的帮助会比书大,这个会好说点. 你选的这个可能比较不好写点.  我觉得第3BODY写的比较出彩~

加油~

(个人意见仅供参考哦.)

[ 本帖最后由 laura001 于 2007-7-31 18:20 编辑 ]
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RE: Issue38 【07-10G Superstar大帖】7月30日作文 [修改]

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