Issue38 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组作文大帖】第六次作业 ambitionxx

ambitionxxUID：2314730

希望大家猛拍，不要手下留情，对给我提出建议的战友表示感谢

TOPIC: ISSUE38 - "In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
WORDS: 555        TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2007-8-4 上午 11:43:57

The books are the medium to help people to learn knowledge in ancient society, with the increasing of the television in modern society, more and more people change to watch the television during the leisure time. However, I concede that the books are the origin of the thought that nothing can replace the book, let alone the television.

Admittedly, the television plays a crucial role in people’s daily life besides the studying, for the television makes our life more convenience and comfortable. With the improvement of the life, more and more people want to go tourism, especially some area that are dangerous but very worth seeing, such as the Antarctica, the volcano; however, people do not have enough time to fulfill this dream. Fortunately, the television can bring us to this place from many aspects with the vivid images as ourselves are there with the help of the explorers and experts, especially, people always feel impressed and unforgettable when they get information from the image and the sound at the same time. In addition, the television's programmer can change very quickly with the society pace, so it can reflect the times’ pulse and transform the information more quickly than the book. When there is a bomb at the Iraq at the 9:00 am, we can get this news at 9:01 am, so many people can keep contact with the world more firmly via the television. Moreover, television can give us an effective way to study some subjects. The television can give us a vivid image that how to swim, however, the book can not. So the television is indispensable to our daily life.

However, the television cannot replace the book, which embraces the advantage that the television is lack of. The knowledge is always transformed from the teachers to the students, even in modern society. Why? The simple reason is that the books can spark more imagination and thought. For example, the psychology and mathematic always need the time to think in depth instead of the vivid image. In addition, the television's programs are always fixed at first that we can only follow the programs, but we can see book at any page at any time. Also, the books are always cheaper than the television, so every people can afford to them besides the poors. When there is no electricity, we can only see the books, more important, it is convenience for us to take the books at anywhere. Consequently, the books will not disappear in the future.

Moreover, the book industrial can become more prosperous in the future, I have two reasons. First, in order to maximum the television’s profit as much as possible, people will make the television full of advertisements and talking shows which waste us much time and energy and are less useful for us. So many people will choose the books that own the human elite. Second, the scientific research become more and more abstract and need more deep thoughts which are difficulty to reflect by the television, but the books can explain them accurately and give us more space to image. So the book can be more prosperous in the future.

In summary, although the television has many advantages and are very hot in today, the book have the unique advantage and will be more prosperous in the future.

[ 本帖最后由 ambitionxx 于 2007-8-4 18:37 编辑 ]

SavileRowUID：2284947

The books are the medium to help people to learn knowledge in ancient society, with the increasing of the television in modern society, more and more people change to watch the television during the leisure time. However, I concede that the books are the origin of the thought that nothing can replace the book, let alone the television.

Admittedly, the television plays a crucial role in people’s daily life besides the studying, for the television makes our life more convenience and comfortable. With the improvement of the life, more and more people want to go tourism, especially some area(areas) that are dangerous but very worth seeing, such as the Antarctica, the volcano; however, people do not have enough time to fulfill this dream. Fortunately, the television can bring us to this place from many aspects with the vivid images as ourselves are there with the help of the explorers and experts, especially, people always feel impressed and unforgettable when they get information from the image and the sound at the same time. In addition, the television's programmer can change very quickly with the society pace, so it can reflect the times’ pulse and transform the information more quickly than the book. When there is a bomb at the Iraq at the 9:00 am, we can get this news at 9:01 am, so many people can keep contact with the world more firmly via the television. Moreover, television can give us an effective way to study some subjects. The television can give us a vivid image that how to swim, however, the book can not. So the television is indispensable to our daily life.

However, the television cannot replace the book, which embraces the advantage that the television is lack of. The knowledge is always transformed from the teachers to the students, even in modern society. Why? The simple reason is that the books can spark more imagination and thought. For example, the psychology and mathematic always need the time to think in depth instead of the vivid image. In addition, the television's programs are always fixed at first that we can only follow the programs, but we can see book at any page at any time. Also, the books are always cheaper than the television, so every people can afford to them besides the poors. When there is no electricity, we can only see the books, more important, it is convenience for us to take the books at（这个词可以去掉，因为anywhere是副词） anywhere. Consequently, the books will not disappear in the future.
我觉得这一段应该是对题目的直接回应，需要重点论述的。可是这里虽然字数跟别段保持平衡，但是深度却比不上别段。如果可以就一两点再写深一些可能会更好。

Moreover, the book industrial(industry) can become more prosperous in the future, （是不是加个and好些？）I have two reasons. First, in order to maximum the television’s profit as much as possible, people will make the television full of advertisements and talking shows which waste us much time and energy and are less useful for us. So many people will choose the books that own the human elite. Second, the scientific research become more and more abstract and need more deep thoughts which are difficulty to reflect by the television, but the books can explain them accurately and give us more space to image. So the book can be more prosperous in the future.

In summary, although the television has many advantages and are very hot(是不是换个词更恰当？) in today, the book have the unique advantage and will be more prosperous in the future.
我觉得还是结尾稍微弱了一点

总体来说，优点我就不详述了。太多
值得改进的地方是第二段
如果写广义的learn，那么“通过新闻了解时事”和“学游泳”这些都可以算，而且第一点“通过电视了解某些危险但是值得看的地方”也可以算。但是你的关键词写了go tourism，这点就不恰当了。我认为可以保持这个内容，但是通过改关键词把他写成一种learn的形式。还有，就是第二段的开头是泛写电视给生活带来方便和舒适，我认为不是很恰当，如果重点写对learn方面的影响会更切题。
从第二段的作用来看，我推荐看lastangel写的AW进阶手册: ISSUE破题策略
里面第一部分讲到如何使让步段的效果发挥更好。举的第二个例子就是这个issue题目

[ 本帖最后由 SavileRow 于 2007-8-5 12:03 编辑 ]